Sometimes — most of the time — the greatest gift you can give someone is to be present with them, carrying their burdens just through a listening ear. Being right there in that moment with your friend or loved one (or a stranger in line with you at the grocery store who really needs someone to make them feel loved), listening not just with your ears, but with your heart, you subconsciously are letting them know that they are enough. The gift of someone’s presence feels better and has more of a lasting effect than anything you can wrap in paper.
Being present helps us build stronger friendships and marriages, little by little. Stronger marriages take root and grow strong families… and strong families – with all their ups and downs — have the potential to raise up strong children who have the potential to change the world and start the domino effect of present love again in their own families.
You make present love grow when you simply hug a little longer. Nicole told me that one hug increases your life span, by 3 minutes, so go get your hug on! Being present heals people. I remember a day when I was having a hard time and Nicole was listening — not to what I was saying, but to my heart. She said, “Do you need a hug, Lara?” So many times we pass those love offers off and pretend that we are “just fine,” but I happily accepted. That simple token of love and being present hasn’t left my memory. The seemingly little things matter, friends.
When you turn off the chatter of life and stop to say “I love you” and mean it – even though he left dirty dishes in the sink again — that matters. When you choose to put your phone down during dinner and really ask her how her day was, it matters. When you stop to say hello to your neighbor that passes you every day on his walk, it matters. When you do small things with great love and presence, it means something. When you choose to fight busy and choose to be present, it changeseverything. It changes generations.
Being present changed my own life. When I stopped choosing my phone and social media over my marriage, world shifted. When I listen to Grace instead of my email, her heart grows. When I hear my mom and dad on the phone with my heart, not just my ears, I can hear their joy bubble over. When I stop to give my neighbors and strangers the gift of my time and ears, life happens. Photo above by Faith Teasley.
- Being present helps us hear life. Slow down and really listen. You might see something wonderful.
- Being present makes life richer. It helps us to be content with what we have instead of pining for more. Being present helps us see the blessings right in front of us.
- Being present helps us to be more efficient and focused. When I am fully present in my work during working hours, I get more done and done well. When I am fully present with my family during family time, my heart is renewed and I am a better mom and wife. This is easier said than done with all we juggle in our lives, but the pursuit of being present is worth it.
- Being present helps us to build trust in others.
- Being present helps us see and hear needs in others and fill them.
- Being present helps us change people’s lives.
This December, join me in giving this gift and learning to accept it, too! Use the hashtag #PresentDecember to help inspire others to say “no” to the hustle and bustle of the holiday rush and say a giant “yes” to slowing down and giving this gift that cannot be wrapped. Let’s listen for needs and fill them, friends.
My prayer for you all is a holiday season full of letting your eyes and hearts drink in the blessings in front of you. Put your phone down. Close your computer. When something great happens, don’t say, “I wish I would have had my camera,” say, “I’m so grateful that just happened!” Look people in the eyes and give them the gift that changes things. Here’s to long conversations over family meals, strengthened relationships, and celebrating this beautiful season of hope! Happiest holidays, friends!
Lara (and Ari and Gracie!)
P.S. I’m still going on my Contentment Challenge (not buying anything new for myself till the new year) but after much prayer and God showing us many needs, we decided to change from just giving things we make and donations to also include gifts that bring people hope. More about the Contentment Challenge here and a GREAT post on giving and gifting at Christmas here.