I have been having a lot of crazy thoughts lately. Like, “What if I didn’t have Facebook? Or any social media??” And you know what? My husband doesn’t. He never looks at Facebook. Ever. He is perfectly content with just having in-person relationships, and he spends his free time reading the Bible on his phone. That may seem archaic to some, or “boring,” but I can tell you that he is anything but bored. Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. - Matthew 6:21 He is focused on what matters and it SHOWS in his actions and how he has completely changed in the last two years.
Photo by Caitlin Sullivan. Oh, what a life-changing two days this was! I love you all so much!
I told the entire story of our marriage at the Making Things Happen Conference a couple weeks ago, and it was one of the most passionate moments of my life. It’s hard to explain the feeling of telling people your true heart – the good, bad and really ugly parts, too. It made me feel, in a word, WHOLE. OK, I have more than one word… it made me feel GRATEFUL. The kind of grateful that wants to do a jig, hug the mailman and sing at the top of my lungs to the birds outside. Yes, I did all three. God is good. Real good.
Recounting all that we have been through (our marriage almost ended at least a dozen times several years ago – we were two ships passing in the night) and seeing where God has brought us is… truly miraculous. We both spent our days searching for fulfillment in all the wrong places early in our marriage. I escaped to my work and to getting “bigger” and to making money and to relationships that distracted me from what mattered. He did the same. Soon, we found ourselves constantly fighting, sleeping in different beds and feeling totally hopeless. We were miserable. We felt like it was impossible for anything to change. But, God…
Those are the magic words.
But, God didn’t want us to fail.
But, God can make the “impossible” possible.
But, God can bring the dead to life.
But, God isn’t a God of “logic,” He is GOD.
But, God didn’t care about our past. He wanted our hearts.
I told Ari this weekend that I felt like we were best friends again. And we talked at length about how this happened and how we still have arguments and we get weary from work and parenting… but lately these things have made us stronger and they’ve made us see that God is with us. Our key to a strong marriage from what we’ve learned in our experience (from Ari): “The secret to success is the same as it is with God: give up your selfish desires. Live for another. You cannot be passive. You have do to the hard work. Jesus demonstrated this best. If he was married, he would have been an awesome husband!”
Marriage is hard and at the same time, the joy on the other side is indescribable. And I know it seems impossible when one person in the marriage is or appears to be more invested than the other. Been there countless times, too. I don’t have all the answers, but I know what worked for us and continues to make us grow closer – keep choosing God and keep choosing love. Love never fails. God heals all things. Too much to say for a little post. You can read the whole story of our marriage here.
Making Things Happen was about much more than relationships, but for me, it was telling the whole story of my marriage and how God completely changed everything that lit a spark I didn’t expect. It gave me a clear example of how ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE.
When you find clarity about your core, you have no choice but to act on that clarity. And, let me just say that the time between clarity and action can be downright frustrating. I know this first-hand! Taking action on what matters can be scary, but INDECISION is like jail to me. So, I choose action. I’ve learned that on the other side of “change is scary” is POSSIBILITY. DONE is better than perfect. And a leap of faith doesn’t mean you haphazardly go after something; it means you can envision a possible positive outcome and you believe in it so much that you have no choice but to ACT on it with intention… even though you don’t know how it will happen. You know that risking for what matters is worth it. The alternative is staying stuck and that gets you… in the same place you started.
And so… back to Ari and social media. You see, he used to spend his time playing video games while I worked till 3am. And now, having faced the brink of what felt like death to us at the time – the death of being totally chained by our sin – we are PASSIONATE about fixing our hearts on what matters. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is–his good, pleasing and perfect will. – Romans 12:2 Those words say it all. It’s not social media or video games that are the problem. It’s where your heart is.
Making things happen is about focusing on what MATTERS and physically doing something about it.
Making things happen means making tough decisions.
Making things happen is about grace, not perfection.
Making things happen means saying NO to what is holding you back and YES to what fires your heart up.
Making things happen requires guts. And fierce passion. And forgiving yourself and everyone around you.
Making things happen – the right things – will set you free.
I would love to hear from you in the comments here. Tell me where your heart is. What’s on your mind? I’d love to pray for you or give you some encouragement, if I can!
P.S. I also hope to get to know you in person this year! I am so grateful to have the opportunity to share and teach at these events soon. I had a rather crazy February with 12 speaking requests in one week after the launch of my new website. So, I spent a considerable amount of time praying on each opportunity. I learned at MTH that I need even more time here at home with Grace, so I narrowed it down to just four. I hope to see many of you at engage!13, Americasmart, Pursuit 31 and the Influence Network Conference.