Between making babies happen, making brands happen, making things happen, making a magazine, a new house, new staff, shoots, consulting, travel and everything in between, there has been a whole lot happening since I last wrote here!  Hello, friends.  Hello, blog.  Nice to see you.  Sit a spell with me and I’ll quickly get you updated.

I was so honored (OK, really… I squealed and did some form of a really hilarious happy dance in getting the invite from R+ K!) and grateful to get the opportunity to speak on a branding panel at Engage!11 in San Diego recently.  Alongside my incredibly inspiring roomies Harmony Walton and Jasmine Star, I was so fired up to get to speak on a subject that fuels me beyond words… and to a group of professionals who inspires me to no end!  Full recap coming soon in my Engage!11 MegaPost, but I just had to say thank you again to the two women (and team) who gave me the remarkable gift to teach and learn and spend a week getting my heart and mind cracked wide open: Rebecca Grinnals and Kathyrn Arce.  If you know these two phenomenal women, you know what I mean!  There aren’t words large enough to express my gratitude.  This was my 6th Engage! and it just keeps getting better.  From the moment I got there, my mind started buzzing with new ideas that resulted in powerful changes taking place in our office since I’ve been back.  Big changes.  Remarkable advances.  And it’s just the beginning.  Thank you, Rebecca, Kathryn and all of the incredible professionals we shared that magical week with!  I wish I was going to be in Cayman for the next Engage!, but I will likely be in labor.  Literally, labor is the ONLY reason I would ever miss an Engage!  This video from Cloud Nine Creative says it all really…

Engage 11: Grand Del Mar // Wrap Film from Cloud Nine Creative on Vimeo.

Making Brands Happen makes my days light up!  Emily and I talk about 20 times a day and exchange an average of 80 emails every afternoon, making people’s authentic powerful creative brands come to life.  What started as an idea sketched out on a Delta barfbag somewhere over the Pacific on the way to Maui (really) to merge our two loves – design and branding -  turned into something we never dreamed possible!  We had no idea this would take off like it has with clients we adore more than words, but it just further confirms what I’ve always believed:  when you harness your core – your driving passion – nothing is impossible. 

The golden question in the SW office: How do we connect great vendors to the right brides to give them the experience of a lifetime on their big day?  My gut reaction answer is always: educate brides and build better businesses!  Great matchmaking and powerful experiences start at the core.  My mission is to change the wedding industry for the better from the inside out.  Building authentic, flourishing businesses gets me fired up! When a brand message is crystal clear, you attract the ideal clients who understand your true value.  When a company has built a remarkable client experience and brand culture based on that core brand message, fireworks happen!  That’s what I want for brides.  Fireworks!  The kind that are so brilliant and big that your parents didn’t want you to light them on your own when you were a kid.  Life-long memories and unforgettable experiences.  True authentic love to the power of infinity!   Oh, Heavens, don’t get me started!  I. love. this. work.  We’re now completely sold out for 2011 brand launches and have a waiting list for 2012 when I get back from maternity leave.  Get on the 2012 List.

I’ll be launching my own new branding soon that I can’t wait to share.  A little low-res iPhone peek at my new cards below.  Much more to come…

Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit, V4 aka Volume Four of Southern Weddings Magazine is set to be our biggest and best issue yet!  Heavens to Betsy, is it ever! We’re still accepting PRINT SUBMISSIONS for this issue, so jump on it and send us your best! Shoot season is in full swing for us and our office is abuzz with deliveries, prop styling, brainstorming sessions, sketches and swatches.  Our Art Director, Emily Ayer, and our divine team are making all sorts of Southern wedding goodness happen.  I’m so grateful for the women I work with.  Photo below from our Southern Weddings charity yard sale by Nancy Ray.

Y’all need to come visit our office one day to fully understand their awesomeness.   Come on over!  Seriously.  We have a full fridge of sweet tea and Cheerwine ready for you.  A little sneak peek at our new team shoot from Millie Holloman below.  Love you, ladies!

I know you want baby updates.  UPDATED: We’re having a GIRL!!! SO grateful to have my first maternity session with the lovely Nancy Ray this week.  More to come…

Travel time! I’ll be back to my hometown to speak at The Stationery Academy in August.  Very excited about this… except it’s the last speaking engagement I’m letting myself do for the year before this baby arrives.  I love to speak more than anything and have had to – sadly – turn down 14 wonderful opportunities this fall all over the world, including two in Ireland!  My dream!  I know God has designed this plan for a perfect reason, though.  Said reason is currently kicking my bellybutton : )

Aaaaand my favorite news besides baby…  Emily, Gina and I are headed out on the road for a very short Making Things Happen tour!  All of the past 27 cities have SOLD OUT, so we expect this to as well.  We purposely chose places that are easy to travel to so you can make it happen.  With le bebe on the way, this is the last tour I’ll be able to do for likely a good year or so.  We’re headed to Pensacola, Atlanta and New York in just a few short weeks.   We’re also hosting a big alum event in Florida!   I couldn’t be more excited. I love this work more than I currently love black cherry popsicles (that’s a lot of love, people!) and can’t wait to see everyone soon to make some big things happen.  Seats are already filling fast.  Register before July 1 for the early-bird rate while you still can.

A soon-to-be-attendee recently asked me if any of the MTH alum keep in touch.  I told her that I had to giggle a little at her question.  Why?  For a year and a half, we’ve been lucky enough to be a part of 29 private Facebook groups – one for each MTH class, one for a student class from UNC and one big group for all MTH alum that we just launched.  Oh my word, these groups buzz with activity – encouragement, collaboration, feedback, motivation, updates, etc., etc. – on a minute to minute basis.  I always wish I could give people a peek into these private groups.  They motivate me to no end!  Accountability and continuing guidance are a cornerstone to lasting success.  Many thanks to the powers of Facebook technology and to the 400+ alum who inspire all of us every single day.  We love y’all so very much!  Be sure to follow MTH2011 on Tumblr and Twitter for daily inspiration and read the post that started it all.

SCHOLARSHIP: So, in the continuing spirit of giving back through Making Things Happen, we are opening one scholarship for this final 2011 tour.  Leave a comment here telling us what you want to make happen in 2011 (and which city you would like to attend).  Why do you want this? What is your passion? Deadline to comment is JULY 4th at midnight. One scholarship seat will be announced that week!   Life is too short to play small.  So, spread the word and get on it.  We cannot wait to meet you soon!

OK, back to making all of this happen, friends. 

Blessings,

P.S. Happy 39th wedding anniversary, Mom and Dad! I love you!

P.P.S. Happy Father’s Day weekend, y’all! Join the Father of the Bride gushfest…

2011 is off to a flying start! I just finished a week of Making Things Happen. Tampa, Atlanta, Charlotte and New York rocked my world.  If you haven’t been keeping up with my personal Tumblr and the Making Things Happen Tumblr, jump on it!  2011 is already the best year of my life.

My personal process for 2011 Goal Setting and my 2011 Vision Board:

1. Evaluate what didn’t work in 2010

2. Define what did work

3. Get clear and write out your fears

4. Evaluate the people you surround yourself with, cultivate vision and create an inspiring environment to flourish in.

5. Define your driving purpose.

6. Making things happen: Act.

Vision is everything.  As a creative person, you have to see where you want to go clearly in order to step into the life you want.  Every image has significant meaning to me – they make me feel something and clarify the vision I have for this year.   I have been researching scripture to support each goal and, as I do this, my goals become more clarified.  Vision isn’t achieved in just 6 steps.  This is just the beginning.  I’m committed to doing the hard work every day to uncover my full potential.  2011, I am filling you with all the love, peace and joy my heart can muster.  I am listening.  I am leaping.  I am creating.  I am standing up for my heart.  I am giving till it hurts.  I am using my gifts to serve.  I am taking the narrow road.  I choose Love.  My mission in 2011: love God, serve people.

images: I’ve been collecting these for a while, so let me know if one of these is yours and I’ll link it.  The ones I remember: bridesmaids (Stacy Reeves), the redhead (Max Wanger), couple on the blanked (Erin Hearts Court) and the woman in the desert (Dewey Nicks).

The year ahead holds a lot of mystery for me.  I have been working to clear my calendar as much as possible to make room for more family, rest, focus on my marriage, friendships and further-solidifying our brands. This year I am committed to working hard on life, giving as much as possible and walking the walk.

The SOLD OUT Making Things Happen 2011 Tour with Natalie Norton and Gina Zeidler (and the very pregnant Emily Ley just on the Tampa stop) was a powerful catapult into 2011. We’re working on adding just one more city to accommodate our huge waiting list. More info.

In a couple weeks, we’re off to Vegas for WPPI where I have several fun things lined up including Making Things Happen Vegas…

The black-tie Airplanes and Blazers party …

Harmony Walton and I have teamed up for the ultimate business, branding and marketing intensive, The Total Package.  There are only a few seats left, so jump on it and get ready to rock your business in 2011!

March 18th of this year marks our five year wedding anniversary.  We actually got married in Vegas. Yes, Vegas. Ari and I still trying to decide what to do to celebrate.

At the end of May, I’ll be speaking at Engage!11 :: Grand Del Mar with Harmony and Jasmine Star.

I’m so honored to be asked to speak again – especially with these remarkable women.

Ari is speaking at a big radiology conference in DC in June.  I’m so proud of him and I’ll be joining him there to cheer him on.  I don’t know if people cheer at radiology conferences, but I’m going to give it a whirl!   June, July and August will be photo shoot and layout madness time for V4 (Volume 4 of Southern Weddings), which drops in September.  We’ll be taking on two new full time employees this summer, too! We’re growing and I’m so excited about adding to our wonderful team.

All of this may seem like a lot, but it’s almost a tenth of the travel I had in 2010.  Yes, there’s more to be planned, but that’s all for now. Learning how to say no and work hard to clear my schedule has been incredibly powerful for my life.  I’m so excited about what’s ahead and very happy with right now.  You can stay up to date with my 2011 Travel Calendar here and find me every day on my personal Tumblr and the Making Things Happen Tumblr.

OK, lots of winners to announce…  Congrats to the business book winners, Amy Worthington, Pam Parker and April Walker!  Email me your mailing address and I’ll get your books to you ASAP!

Big congrats to the Making Brands Happen winner, Kelly Sauer!  Email me and Emily and I will get your mini sessions scheduled.  Everyone else who entered… we had the HARDEST time picking just one person for this.  You all could make huge things happen with more powerful branding!  SO, if you reserve your brand with us by this Friday, we’re giving you a $200 credit toward your new brand!  Every single entry was deserving, so we want to help make this happen for you.  Our schedule is getting packed to the max, so book ASAP if you want your brand completed quickly.  Due to high demand and the great success of this for our clients, we’ve expanded to offer three levels of service to fit your needs.  Just email me for all the details.  We can’t wait to help take your business to the next level! The process and results from this work fire Emily and I up to no end!

Oh you know I can’t do a post without another giveaway.  The fine folks at Adorama, who I love and adore, have given me a FujiFilm Instax Mini to give away!  We’ve had so much fun with Instax on the Making Things Happen Tour.  AND!  BONUS! Harmony and I are giving away ONE SEAT to The Total Package. A rad camera + the best marketing, branding, PR and business insight = Happy 2011! If you aren’t able to come to The Total Package, we’ll split this prize into two. So, just tell me if you are only interested in the camera prize.

Leave a comment here telling me about your goals for 2011 AND Tweet, Blog or post on facebook about this giveaway and link to it. Just leave a note in your comment that you posted about it and you’re all set!  Giveaway ends next Friday.  What are you making happen this year?

UPDATED: Congrats to Total Package winner Meg Perotti and camera winner Josh Ulmer!

Are you ready for this?  In 2010, I traveled to Dallas, Seattle, Los Angeles (7 times), Minneapolis (3 times), Chicago, Atlanta (33 times), New York (4 times), Nashville (2 times), Las Vegas, Denver, Irvine, Pensacola (7 times), Indianapolis, Grand Cayman, Miami (thrice), Washington DC, Boston, Salt Lake City, West Palm Beach, St Lucia, Barbados, Trinidad, Houston, Phoenix, San Francisco, Maui, and I’m about to head to Vail with my family.  Phew!  I earned my SkyMiles this year.

In preparing this post, I read my 2009 Year in Review and almost fell out of my chair.  So much has changed.  But, what struck me the most is what I wrote as my goal for 2010:  My wish for 2010: to listen more –in the largest sense of the word– and to take ultimate care of myself –even when I don’t feel like it– so I can be my absolute best for others.  I wish to know Christ deeply this year and that His love would live in me and shine brightly.  I wish for a year of connection and giving as much of myself as humanly possible.  Inscribed in my wedding ring is a verse that I am adopting as my mantra for 2010: “I can do all things through Christ.” – Philippians 4:13 I started going to church again early this year and worked at developing a stronger relationship with God and, in turn, myself.   As the days passed this year – no matter how busy I got or what came my way – I started to find real lasting happiness.  Photo by Brett Arthur.

The year began with an unforgettable journey: The Making Things Happen tour.  It tour kicked off in Dallas and took us to Seattle, Los Angeles, Minneapolis and Chicago.

Dallas.  [photo :: poser]

Los Angeles [photo :: Jasmine *]

We met so many incredible new friends.  I will never forget those days.  They were also full of a lot of personal growth for me as I did the MTH work myself and faced a lot of fears.

Meanwhile, V2 (Volume 2) of Southern Weddings was continuing to circulate all over the globe.  Captured below in Maui by Anna Kim.

A highlight of the year was Katharine’s engagement!  Three days after last Christmas 2009, her beau placed a ring on her finger that would soon after take us to New York to go dress shopping.  With an entourage of 13, we packed into Kleinfeld to search for The One.  I was really grateful to be a part of that day.  So special!

After our chilly NY jaunt, I headed for Hotlanta and Nashville to do the Making Things Happen intensive and have some fun in the Smilebooth at the Get Married magazine premier.

I think I was only back home in Chapel Hill for about 5 days before I had to head back to Atlanta to speak at The Simple Plan workshop.  This was my very first PowerPoint presentation (I went to school for music, theatre and design, ok!?) and the day I met some incredible friends.  Thank you Ben Vigil for this photograph below.

I made a last-minute pitstop in Nashville right after that which turned into quite the fiasco.  Let’s just say Jeremy Cowart and I had a hugemongous meeting with a potential client and losing my luggage on a 6 seater hopper plane in the snow caused me to buy a whole new Walmart wardrobe.  Ah, memories.  Sidenote:  this year, I have been incredibly inspired by this man. I’m so grateful for his friendship.

Amidst all of this travel and work, I was gearing up for WPPI and throwing the Airhorns and Lasers party with great friends.  Yes, we’re throwing the party again this year, but much much different.  Announcing: Airplanes and Blazers.

I really enjoyed speaking at Fred and Jory’s workshop on editorial work.

Loved seeing old friends and meeting new people, as always!  Jory Cordy and I below.

And I particularly loved speaking on a panel of editors at Garret Nudd’s workshop on how to get published.  It was at that moment that I saw a great need for more of this education.

After WPPI, I boarded a plane directly to Denver to do MTH there and then caught the first flight to Los Angeles to see my grandmother in the hospital.  That was a really tough time in my year.  I was exhausted from so much travel and WPPI and seeing grandma made me realize I needed to slow down.

I remember laying in her hospital bed with her, showing her all the family photos I had on my iPhone.  She said it was the first thing that made her happy in a long while.  Thankfully, she recovered and I started to make plans to cool my travel jets in 2011.  But, first… off to NY again and DC for MTH.

I visited my childhood home while I was in DC.  I’m sure many people feel this way, but it all seemed to much smaller!  I loved seeing my playhouse still intact in the backyard.

Back in the office in NC, we celebrated our Two Year Blogaversary and set out to plan V3 (Volume 3 of Southern Weddings).  Lots of brainstorming, a bajillion submissions and several big risks later, we set out with a very exciting plan.

I twittered… Who wants to shoot our next cover? After a overwhelming response, we decided to open this opportunity up.  I wrote this post asking for photographers and designers to submit proposals for our next cover.  Well, little did I know that my inbox (and mailbox … wow, y’all are creative!) would completely explode shortly after.  More on the cover in a bit.  The cover inspiration…

Y’all are going to think I’m nuts.  This year really was nuts! I got way overloaded and have since completely cut out a lot of work.  While speaking, traveling and making a magazine, we also had several large weddings on the books with my event planning company.  I said I’d give it up last year, but we couldn’t resist these wonderful families.

Becky and Scottie have a beautiful story.  Their wedding really made me think about my own marriage and pray for it to be stronger.  It was a perfect breezy beach day in Florida for their I Do’s and a gorgeous ballroom reception.

I spent a few days in Florida with my parents and even biked in a 30 mile race with my dad!  This man runs … or er… bikes circles around me.  I was so happy to share that experience with him.

From Florida to Indianapolis to speak at Eventology.  I was exciting to have Katharine and Emily join me for this.

I spoke on Building Your Team.  Being a “boss” is something I have had to work really really hard at.  I am very happy to say that this year I put a lot of my focus into integrity and changing my business structure to allow that.  The results continue to make us all very happy busy bees.  Above all other things in my business, I am most grateful for Katharine and Emily.  I could be shoveling snow for a living and be extremely happy if I had these two by my side.

It was great to speak along side such sharp women at Eventology: Sasha Souza, Katasha Butler, Terrica Skaggs and Harmony Walton.

Vacation!  Ari and I flew to Hawaii for his best friend’s wedding on Kona.  This trip was a turning point in our marriage.  Something about getting out of our environment and enjoying some sun and sand was just what we needed.

I spent 10 days in Hawaii and had some major travel problems on the way home.  So, Katharine and Emily had to run the show at our big editorial shoots with Jose Villa, who flew in just for us.  I made it back in time for the Fearrington shoot with Jose, Joel Serrato and the incredible Joy Thigpen.  I am so proud of KTW and EAA for making these shoots come to life!  The results in V3 are just awesome.

Ah yes, back to wedding season.  This is where our tightly-packed schedule started to worry me.  So, I went into overdrive.  I was the organization QUEEN, my friends.  I think I even had my Luna Bars in alphabetical flavor order.  We had our last two weddings – both gigantic – back to back.  First up, a stunning Indian wedding at Duke.  The whole office (and our beaus) came out to make Nameeta and Jacob’s wedding go off without a hitch!  Emily’s John is particularly good at chair ties.

And then, the next day, I went to the hospital.  This was a major life wakeup call.  Read all about it here.  I love this man…

The next week: Sara and Tyler’s southern soiree in Salisbury, NC.  I love these two more than I can express. Hi Sara!

These photos from Nancy Ray make my heart so happy.  Katharine and Kyle cut a rug and made us all fall in love all over again.  So sweet…

Two days later (yes, this is how fast my year has moved!), I boarded a plane for Engage10! :: Grand Cayman.  My roomies, Harmony and Jasmine, made this an unforgettable trip.

Engage was, as per usual, packed with so much great education, great friends and wonderful surprises!

A week later, I flew from NC to Florida again for a milestone in my family.  My dad had two children long before us: Kathy and Chris.  Over the years, they all lost touch.  I hadn’t seen Kathy since I was 8.  After 22 years, they all flew in for Father’s Day.  I think it was the happiest day of my dad’s life.  Paul and Mecheal Johnson were gracious enough to be there with us to capture these moments.  You can see the whole day here.

I found a new bff in my sister, Kathy, and a new spark in my dad’s smile.

We all had so much fun on the beach getting to know each other all over again!

Ari and I spent the fourth of July at the UNC Football stadium with friends.  The fireworks were awesome!  I started to love living in NC right around that time.  I don’t want to be there forever, but I’m grateful to be in such an exciting atmosphere right now.

A HUGE part of my growing happiness has been this lady right here.  Marissa Kloess does a lot for me, including encourage me through every step we take as a company.  I love you, M, and could not have weathered this year without you.

Rosalind with Two Bright Lights came to North Carolina and I was so honored to be asked to speak at her meeting.  It was a joy to meet these NC photo friends!

Summer in Chapel Hill was magical.  My Camp Lara post give you all the details.  The photograph below was taken at Duke Gardens by my dear friend, Brett Arthur, who just got married this year and wore our Sid Mashburn suit from V2!

I buckled down for six long weeks of magazine layout.  Yes, we lay this thing out ourselves.  I did not go to school for this.  I learned InDesign by playing around with it all till I figured it out – aka I learned the hard way.  More on my story with the magazine here.

Emily was an enormous help this year with layout!  We worked as a team to make this beauty come to life.  Emily below during a shoot and simultaneous filming.  Footage coming very soon!

Out of hundreds of submissions and 15 finalists, we finally chose a cover. Layout madness continued…

Through much encouragement from Emily and Katharine and many others, I committed to finding a way to blog daily with shorter posts.  I was starting to be known for consistent mega-posts, like this one.  When I discovered the ease of Tumblr – that I could do it on the StairMaster – I was hooked!  I’ve been Tumbling on my personal Tumblr and the Making Things Happen Tumblr ever since.  It has been a challenge, at times, to put myself out there and commit to this, but so worth it in the end.  I’m grateful for the gift of writing.

I blocked off Blue Angel Weekend on my calendar almost a year prior.  Every July, the Blues fly right over my parent’s house for their air show.  It is quite the experience… especially when they make their low pass from behind you out of nowhere!  Ari came with me and we had a blast with my family on the beach.

Just two days later, Katharine, Emily and I drove to Wilmington, NC, for a fabulous shoot with Millie Holloman and crew.  This was so much fun!  Multiple sets created just for us, gorgeous styling, and the happiest team around, oh my!  I also had fun doing everyone’s makeup.  Office bonding to the max.  Many laughs were had.

KTW + EAA celebrated their one year anniversary working with me shortly after.  We reflected on a great year together and, as per usual, had some cupcakes… and candy for Katharine.

So, my husband is a radiology resident at UNC.  As a 3rd year, all radiology residents across the US have to attend a training month at Walter Reed in DC.  Coincidentally, this is also where my parents met.  So, Ari shipped off to DC for an entire month.  We survived 7 long months of deployment when he was in Iraq.  Somehow this was harder.

After intense layout days during the week, I decided to trek up there and visit him every weekend.  I grew up in DC and my parents even flew in one weekend for a big dinner with old friends.  It was a really special night for all of us!

Ari and I went to all the museums that month (including the butterfly house where a little friend below landed on my hat), Mount Vernon, Annapolis (loved it there!), a slew of fun restaurants, all the monuments and anything else you can think of that is touristy.  It was a wonderful summer, despite the distance.

At the end of August, right when Ari got back, we had our last week of magazine layout madness and I flew to Florida to deliver the files to the printer.  After such long hours and crazy work, it was a gift to sit and just watch the sunset with my parents when I got there.

I made the 5am drive to Panama City to start two days of color proofing and text edits.  This is a job for several, not for one.  I don’t know why I didn’t learn this the first times.  But, seeing the proofs was a great reward! My story of being a self-publisher.

I came back to NC for 24 very short hours then boarded a plane for Boston for Katharine’s big day!   I spent that night assembling all the centerpieces for the wedding and – in my magazine proofing delirium – made a few too many.  It all worked out in the end and looked beautiful, but I felt pretty silly about my over-eager centerpiece making.  Sidenote: Boston and the Harvard Club were a dream!  So beautiful.

And Katharine was so beautiful it was hard not to stare at her.  Seriously… Grace Kelly beautiful.  She and Kyle and their families made my heart sing.  The wedding was most definitely the best wedding I have ever been to.  I felt so blessed to witness it.

Ari and I had a ball on the dance floor and spending quality time together after our summer apart.  Thank you, Bryan Johnson, for these incredible photographs.

Days later, I headed to Salt Lake City to do the Making Things Happen intensive and speak at WedSmith.  I loved Salt Lake and met so many great friends there!

Tessa, Hilary, Harmony and I.  Thank you, Justin Hackworth, for these images!

The magazine pages had printed and they were just about to put the covers on when this happened.

I wrote my favorite Tumblr post this year.

The files were off to the printer, but that’s just where our work began.  Self-publishing is a beast.  We prepped pre-orders, dozens of blog posts, contributor mailings, thank you gifts and cards galore as we got ready to unleash V3 to the masses!

So, here’s something you don’t know.  These are the things I’m not supposed to blog, but I’m going to anyway.  My #1 goal with V3, besides great content, was perfect color.  I was really disappointed in some of the color in V2, so this was my mission.  I took those proofs out in the sunlight, proof light, fluorescent light, any light I could see them in to quadruple check everything.  The proofs I signed off on were perfect (cover at left).  Seriously, perfect.  I didn’t leave until they were.  If you wonder why I didn’t immediately tweet about how excited I was to get copies of V3 in the mail, it’s because of this….  The printed, bound covers were so off color.  To the normal eye, it’s unnoticeable unless you compare the two.  To me, it was what I imagine a bad hair dye job to be like: devastating.  Long story short, I panicked.  I called the printer.  Even though this was completely their error, there was no way to redo everything by our newsstand date.  I suddenly got very unexcited about V3.  This is why I didn’t blog this till now.  Again, an untrained I wouldn’t see it.  But, I sure did.  It killed me.  The one thing I wanted was perfect color.  That’s what I approved.  Thankfully, brides didn’t care one bit and the inside pages were divine…

Off to Engage!10 :: Breakers in Palm Beach with Emily to learn, connect and debut V3.

I was so so nervous to let V3 out.  But, the feedback was INCREDIBLE.  We are all – despite our now unsecret cover woes – SO proud of this issue.  It really holds our hearts and embodies our mission to inspire authentic, approachable, meaningful wedding inspiration.  I love our cover from Joey + Jessica!

At Engage!, I spoke on a panel of the best editors in weddings on one of my favorite topics: how to get published.

Rebecca and Kathryn never cease to amaze with every Engage! experience.  This was my fifth Engage! conference and definitely the best yet.

With my dear friend Randy Fenoli and Anthony Luscia of Martha Stewart Weddings.

Emily working the pink carpet with Todd Fiscus, Randy, Jeff from The Breakers and I.

A highlight of my year has been my mom finally diving into her passion again.  It took almost a decade of coercing for us to get her to leap, but my mom now has a regular food column with the paper and teaches French cooking.  I have never seen her so happy!  I got to experience one of her classes the other night and it was a dream come true!  Go mom!

Needless to say, my dad is super happy to see her following her passion, too.  He also likes the added taste-tester benefits.

Next up, my first ever Bridal Market experience in NY with Marissa and Fred Egan!

It was, to say the least, a whirlwind!  SO many familiar faces, oodles of gorgeous gowns and lots of running from show to show.  Pictured below with my friends Sylvia Weinstock and Harmony Walton.

The best part was reconnecting with great friends.  Photo below from Britt Chudleigh.

Aaaaand…. going to the Martha Stewart market party, complete with a behind-the-scenes tour of the Martha offices from Darcy Miller.  Amazing!

The Knot gala at the NY Public Library was spectacular!  Read all of the market goodness here: Part One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven and Eight. Phew!

Days later, Ari and I flew to St Lucia for a big vacation.  What started as the honeymoon we never had turned into the adventure of a lifetime.

It was there that we really reconnected with what brought us together in the first place: our passion for giving.

We experienced so many magical sights.  Pictured below in front of the Pitons.  So beautiful!

Best of all, we met a life-long friend, Chantal Antoine, and weathered a hurricane together.  It was life-changing.  Read my husband’s blog for all the details.

Thanks to Hurricane Tomas, I did not think I’d make it back for the MTH Tour.  I seriously panicked, but God made a way.  Just three days later, I miraculously (four countries and three trips through customs in one day!) made it to Houston to meet MTH alum Gina Zeidler and Emily Ley for what ended up being the best two weeks of my life.

We saddled up in Houston…

Felt the fear and did it anyway in Phoenix…

Emily Ley and I launched Making Brands Happen somewhere in between.

Woke up to this in San Fran…

And met Ari in Los Angeles (he’s from Encino)…

Highlight #1 of the Los Angeles stop was getting to see my siter, Kathy and her husband John.  Ari, Kathy, John and I had a great dinner in Brentwood and I left with a very full heart.  P.S. If you ever go to Bloomingdales in Century City, ask for Kathy Suto.  She runs the place.  Literally.

Highlight #2:  spending the weekend with Em, Gina, Ari and Grandma Bunny.

This video, created by Gina, says it all:

Grandma Bunny from lara casey on Vimeo.

Monday night, we caught a plane to Maui to meet Fred and Jory for MTH.

We shared two incredible days at the Four Seasons Maui with 32 amazing new friends.  It was AWESOME!  [in the true sense of the word]

Best of all, I left with a strong bond of friendship with Emily and Gina. Spending time with Emily and “Bman” (her beautiful baby that is due in February) also gave me a bit of baby fever.

Appropriately, Thanksgiving was the next week.  I headed home to Gulf Breeze, FL, to spend time with my parents.  Ari was on 24 hour call, but he still managed to inspire us and make us so grateful for our lives through his writing.  It was the best Thanksgiving ever.  My goal that day was to get to know my parents as people, not as my parents.  God blessed that day.  We enjoyed a wonderful meal together and…. my favorite!!!! … turned on the Christmas music and watch National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.  Best.  Movie.  Ever.

After a whilrwind tour across the US with Gina and Em and a wonderful Thanksgiving, I headed back to NC for a few weeks to get down to business.  When you find clarity in your life, you have no choice but to act on that clarity.  I gutted our house, got a new office, wrote 77 goals and smashed about 80% of them so far, donated half of my clothes, resolved some intense old conflicts, signed up to teach Sunday School, committed myself to friendship and – among many other things – put together new Ikea furniture.  This was a true testament to the growth of our marriage.  We actually had FUN putting together Ikea furniture!

And… the big SW news!  Amidst server crashes and lots of late night prep, we launched the NEW iloveswmag.com!  The evolution of the Southern Weddings blog is pretty remarkable.  I love love love our new site and am so proud of Emily and Katharine for working so hard on it.  It makes me so happy!

December 16th, I met Gina and Em in Pensacola where we picked up Marissa and our new bff Natalie Norton for a weekend in Watercolor, Florida, with great friends.

It was an amazing time of deepening our friendships, celebrating 2010 and preparing for the new year.

It’s Christmas Eve and I am so grateful for where this year has taken us as a company and as people.  Photo below of my whole team on Santa’s lap:  Whitney, me, Sierra, Santa, Nicole, Emily and Katharine.  Ho ho ho y’all!  Want to know what we’re up to for Christmas?  Read all the details here.

This is my Christmas suit.  OK, it’s really a box of fabric with arm and foot holes.  It also has my name on it (thanks, Dad, for this rad gift!).  I wear it every Christmas Day and, since we’ll be in the airport tomorrow, I am tempted to wear it through airport secturity.  My husband may disown me when he sees me in Atlanta.  What do you think?  To Christmas suit or not to Christmas suit?

The best parts of my 2010 were not captured in photographs and, as much as I packed into this post, this is just the half of it.  There were so many remarkable little moments with Ari, big prayers, leaps of faith, tears and laughter… this year was so full.  Emily Ley gave me the best gift this year from Paloma’s Nest that sums up our friendship and adventures perfectly:

The biggest highlight of 2010 is the very reason I even got to do all of this above in the first place: marriage.  Marriage rocks. I’ll be celebrating my five year wedding anniversary in March, and I’ve never been more in love. Forget what you hear in the news – it is possible to grow in marriage and love each other more than when you first met.  I’m living it.  It was not at all easy to get here, but the work of marriage has been the best work I’ve ever done.  2010 Highlight = husband. [photo below :: Gina Zeidler]

In 2011, I’ll start the year traveling for a week on the MTH Tour and will be at WPPI in February, Engage! in June and some small things here and there.  I have purposely made no travel plans otherwise.  I’m ready to focus in and dedicate my life to my family, my team, my church and my friends.  I have no idea what God has in store for me this year, but I secretly hope I lose my Delta Platinum status.

I will tell you that I plan to write a small book and teach Sunday school.  I want to sing more and get in the best shape of my life by our five year wedding anniversary on March 18th.  I want to make our brand solid and to really make our company growth take wing.  I’m ready to get down to business in my office instead of out of it.   I’ve titled 2011 as my year to serve and give it all.  I don’t expect this to be easy, but truly nothing great ever is.  And Drumroll…   God willing, Ari and I are going to try to have a baby at some point in the next couple years. This is very scary to even type, but exciting to think about Ari and I growing in our love for each other. (cue happy dance from Katharine!)

I turn 31 two days after Christmas.  I can’t wait to be on the slopes with my family in Vail in 24 hours to celebrate a miraculous year and the miracle of Christmas that made all of this possible.  30 was the year I reconnected, shed my skin, learned to forgive, let go and felt a lot of fear and did it anyway.  I’m open.  I’m as ready as I can be.  I want the same thing as last year, but now it has a whole new meaning:  to listen more –in the largest sense of the word– and to take ultimate care of myself so I can be my absolute best for others.  I wish to know Christ deeply this year and that His love would live in me and shine brightly.  I wish for a year of connection and giving as much of myself as humanly possible.  Inscribed in my wedding ring is a verse that I am adopting as my mantra: “I can do all things through Christ.” – Philippians 4:13 Thank you, friends, for taking this journey with me and for encouraging me through so many challenges. I am so grateful.

To kick-start the new year, I’m giving away 9 of my favorite business books…

What was your highlight of 2010? Leave a comment here and three random winners will split the biz book loot.  Happy New Year y’all!

xo

A year ago this week, I made a big announcement from Breckenridge, Colorado.  I never dreamed that some of the names I would read would be my future best friends. Or that I’d be seeing them again in just ten days to celebrate a pivotal, powerful, life-changing year. 2010 has been the best year of my life for more reasons than I can count.

A risky blog post led to a 20 city tour led to over 400 new friendships that have brought me to today:  humbled, grateful, in awe of how God can change a life in such a short time.  We traveled to 20 cities this year to challenge people to conquer fear and harness their true potential.  Never in a million years would I have guessed the result.  I can’t take credit for what the MTH Alumni have accomplished since this first began 12 months ago.  They genuinely lived what I said: Feel the fear and do it anyway.   The feedback and the community support has blown me away.

One of the biggest factors in all of this success has been the community and fierce accountability from the MTH alum. The support I see every single day from past attendees is just phenomenal. There aren’t words big enough to describe what these people have done for each other to help one another conquer fear and make really big things happen in their lives and in business.

There have been countless late night phone calls, group Skype chats to offer encouragement, weekly meet-ups, a thousand encouraging texts, uplifting emails (I know all of this because I’ve been a recipient myself!), facebook groups that are active by the hour, Twitter messages to encourage and support, many tears, frustrations, hurdles, triumphs, and remarkable advances.

Want a peek inside the tour?  I made a new montage/video thing really fast.  I’ve only made one other montage/video thing in my life.  You have full permission to berate my montage/video thing skills.  I’m awesome at jumping moguls on skis and making muffins, so it all evens out.  Watch carefully for some new faces towards the end.  I know it moves fast, so get that espresso brewing!

Making Things Happen 2011 from lara casey on Vimeo.

It is with so much excitement and gratitude that I announce the first part of Making Things Happen 2011!  We will be visiting five major airport hubs this January for easy travel:  Tampa, Charlotte, Atlanta, Las Vegas (WPPI) and New York City!  We are looking for one more city to add to the tour, so please leave a comment and let us know where you’d like us to come.  Spread the word, because we need at least 10 people per city to make it happen.

The 2010 Tour completely SOLD OUT, so this one is sure to as well.   I wish I could visit more cities, but with my packed schedule – and a commitment to not be on an airplane so much in the new year – I can’t pack any more in.  So, jump on these places!  We purposely chose places that are easy to travel to so you can make it happen.

This workshop is not for the faint of heart, but for creatives who really want to change, grow, and harness their full potential in the new year. Are you ready to Make Things Happen?  Pull the trigger now, while there are seats.

Need help to make it happen?  Leave a comment here telling me what you want to make happen in 2011 (and which city you would like to attend).  Why do you want this? What is your passion? One scholarship seat will be announced January 1st!   I’m so excited about the upcoming year and can’t wait to kick it off with you! Life is too short to play small. PLEASE NOTE: The only cities offered for 2011 so far are Tampa, Charlotte, Atlanta, Las Vegas and New York. We are open to suggestion on one more city to visit.

30 days, 30 planes, 30,000+ miles and I came home alive.  Alive as in AWAKE.   The Making Things Happen Tour – (preceded by travel to Salt Lake City, Palm Beach, New York, St. Lucia, Atlanta, Barbados, Trinidad, and Miami) took us from Raleigh to Houston to Phoenix to San Francisco to Los Angeles to Maui and back again.  It rocked my core.  My experiences gave me fierce clarity that I never thought I’d find.  You can read our complete daily adventures on the MTH Tumblr page, but I’ve pulled a few highlights for you here from my journey with two incredible women and 100+ new great friends.  “Friends” is a mild word for what these people are to me.  Everyone I have met in the last two weeks is family now – a deep part of my heart.  There were rivers of tears, triumphs, and bold moves toward joy and wholeness.   It was the best two weeks of my life so far and it keeps getting better!  The adventure continues in our daily lives back at home (and on our Tumblr page) every day.

November 4: Houston. I want to know Christ. I want to be rested. I want to find joy in simplicity. Joy in breath, running, laughter and letting go.  A year from now, you will wish you had started today. Today could be the day. The day it all begins. Begin anywhere.  lc  [video]

November 5: I am praying for Haiti. I am ready to face my fears. For once, I know exactly what they are today. A text message I never thought I’d get this morning has me feeling all sorts of things. I surrender all. A song from that won’t leave me: I give it all away… so You can use me.

November 5: ‘Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world…’

November 5: Houston. April, Jenae, Debra, Elizabeth, Amber, Angela, Cynthia, Danielle, Emily, Lauren, Judith, Lisa, Lara, Carrie, Caroline, Jenny – Yesterday was just the beginning. Today, now, in this moment you have the choice to be remarkable. Give yourself license to dream bigger, as you did together just hours ago. Make the choice to be remarkable. Life is just too short to settle for anything less than the greatness – giving, loving, creating – that you were created for. xo Lara, Emily and Gina

November 6: Houston Airport.  I am immersed. The last time I was in Phoenix was when Ari came home from deployment. He encourages me to love, to give, to forgive. Time to do something about what I uncovered yesterday. Thank you, new friends. I’m so grateful for yesterday. Time to act.  lc

November 6: ‘The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.’

November 6: Phoenix is warm so we dove in.  147 photos.

November 7: I am refreshed. Sermon on forgiveness kicked me this morning. ‘Bless those who persecute you.’ I am so ready to take some big risks. Risk is the stuff real life is made of. Let’s do this Phoenix. lc

November 7: I want new. Ari said to me this morning, “So, I was reading pre-natal ultrasounds today and I was thinking I wish one was yours.” My heart melted. Being around Emily makes me excited about that. One day. For now, I want new life. I want to live what has been so clearly laid out for me with abandon. I don’t want to ignore it anymore. I want so badly to break through, to stop fearing the greatness inside of me. I want so badly to just. let. go. Currently listening to All Things New | Watermark. ‘Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old had gone, the new has come.’ 2 Cor 5:17

November 7: I want to take a big huge bite out of life right now. ‘For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.’ – 2 Timothy 1:7 My heart is so full from today. I wanted to freeze time. Thank you, new friends, for the real, raw, honest, unabashed love. You make me want to own my life without fear. Feel the fear and do it anyway. Risk big. Run fast. Love deeply. Do not sell yourself short. EVER. You’ve got this. There is no fear in love. You are powerful beyond measure. lc

November 7: Phoenix. Erika, Jen, Carlee, Tiesha, Heidi, Kara, Heather, Wendy, Melissa and Leah: Don’t ever forget those tears. You flooded the desert and sprouted new wings just hours ago. It’s just the beginning. Now it’s time to act. You owe this to yourself and everyone around you. Walk the plank. When you get to the edge, there are friends waiting for you in the water. Baby steps. Bold steps. Then leap!  [video]

November 8: I am useless when I’m tired. I need sleep and/or Pinkberry. Meditating on: ‘Come to me all you who are weary and heavy-laden and I will give you rest.’ Matt 11:28 When I’m spent, I focus on gratitude. So grateful that Ari is meeting me in LA on Thursday and cannot wait for dinner with my sister Kathy on Friday and spending the weekend with my grandma in Irvine before I leave for MTH Maui on Monday. Family is good for the soul. So grateful for the women who have changed my heart in the last four days. So grateful for the women I work with. Miss you KTW and EAA. So grateful for change. God is good. Time to fly. Time to rest. lc

November 8: San Francisco. I want to bathe in mayo. My skin is so dry from Phoenix, y’all. Then I want someone to walk all over my back and a cold shower. And the sugar in Emily’s purse. I need a Mentos moment.

November 8: Making a Chinese feast happen.

November 9: Good morning San Francisco. Today you have a choice: stay comfortable (aka stuck) or step out of your comfort zone and make things happen. Open, accept, give, act, forgive and choose to be the remarkable you that you KNOW you are. Don’t waste another gorgeous full day. Life is too short to wait for tomorrow. Start the wheels turning. Tiny steps build to big momentum and create new life. Make it happen. lc

November 9: San Francisco.  ‘I don’t want to be stuck anymore.’  Geomyra, Caitlin, Marin, Briana, Jen, Sarah, Ashley, Melissa: you are powerful beyond measure.  ‘Life is too short to do something that you hate all day long.’  Life is too short.  You are unstuck, my beautiful radiant udderly beautiful friends.  Make it happen.  We’re all together in this. [video]

November 9: Your friend is your needs answered. He is your field which you sow with love and reap with thanksgiving. And he is your board and your fireside. For you come to him with your hunger, and you seek him for peace. When your friend speaks his mind you fear not the “nay” in your own mind, nor do you withhold the “ay”. And when he is silent your heart ceases not to listen to his heart; For without words, in friendship, all thoughts, all desires, all expectations are born and shared, with joy that is unacclaimed. When you part from your friend, you grieve not; For that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absence, as the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain. And let there be no purpose in friendship save the deepening of the spirit. For love that seeks aught but the disclosure of its own mystery is not love but a net cast forth: and only the unprofitable is caught.  And let your best be for your friend that you should seek him with hours to kill? Seek him always with hours to live. For it is his to fill your need, but not your emptiness. And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures. For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed. – Khalil Gibran

November 9: Today I had this picture in my mind of running on the beach. Running hard, fast, pushing. Breaking through. I’ve been carrying a deep pain by myself. Until today when I realized God is bigger than any pain I have. God has this. I cried. I sobbed. The well sprang up as I envisioned myself running on the beach, free from the past, fully present in the NOW. I’ll be in Maui in a week and I. Will. Run. Strong, hard, fast. I will break through. I will not settle for anything less. Thank you, friends, for believing in me. Thank you, God, for clarity. Thank you. lc

November 10: Just one week ago we started in Houston then off to Phoenix, San Francisco and now here we are in Los Angeles – exhausted in the best way and fired up like never before. More clarity was uncovered in one week than an entire year. I’m so excited for the women I’m with, how my marriage has already grown from this work opening me and for all that is ahead. This is just the beginning. I’m so crazy behind on work from being on this trip, but I’m suddenly grateful that my inbox resembles tangled spaghetti. My eyes are clearer, my heart is new and I’m coming at life from a perspective I’ve never had. I’m so grateful for this work and how all things are made new when we just let go – when we fully surrender. When we drop in. When we get real, face our shadows and see that we are enough – right now in this moment. I am enough. I am full, clear, free and I can do the hard things today. I can send the difficult emails, have the challenging conversations and I can feel this fear and act on it. As I picture every set of eyes I’ve looked into in the last seven days, I know I’m not alone. Life is too short to go through the motions. Life is too short to wait another day – another hour – to accept the fact that I’ve changed. Life is too short to play small. Let’s do this, friends. Watercolor, Dallas, Seattle, Los Angeles, Chicago, Minneapolis, DC, New York, Atlanta, Nashville, Chapel Hill, UNC, Salt Lake City, Houston, Phoenix, San Francisco, Los Angeles and everyone who has been a part of this Making Things Happen journey – whether you’ve been to the intensive yet or not – let’s DO THIS. Today is the only day we have. Strike the match in your life. It’s so time. Everything is going to be alright. I’m ALL in. Are you? lc

November 10: Los Angeles.  I want to run out of this hotel and straight into my husband’s arms. I can’t wait till he gets here tomorrow night. My intense sense memory kicked in the moment we landed in Los Angeles and got my heart all tangled. I did not see it coming. I like to be in control of my feelings. God instantly took me out of my comfort zone. Living here for three years, so many visits as a child to see family, work, Navy life, growing up, relationships and memories of my last trip here – staying at this same hotel, grandmother in the hospital, exhausted from too much travel, heart completely torn apart – instinctively made me want to run. Sprint. But, I’m here. Gina and Emily listen so well. Praying at dinner with them gave my heart courage. I’m feeling this fear. It’s not fun but it’s time to rewrite this memory in my body. I am so grateful that God makes all things new. All I have to do is let go and let God. “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” 2 Cor 5:17

November 11: I am feeling all sorts of on fire today. Dealing with pain, facing fear and giving it up to God is where it’s at. So grateful to wake up energized, clear, ready to live life with all five senses. I am humbled and thankful beyond words for all of the inspiring friends we’ve met this week and will meet today. I am so grateful for this work and to witness people grow and break through. My eyes are wide open. My heart is so full. I’m ready to break out some hula moves with Em, Gina, Fred and Jory on Monday. For now, let’s do this, Los Angeles!

November 11: Make things happen, Los Angeles.  She believed she could, so she did.

November 11: Los Angeles. What a powerful, honest, life-changing day. Skip – the best guy in LA – Kate, Samantha, Katie, Helena, Elizabeth, Carissa, Melissa, Eve, Meghan, Amber, Tami, Carrie, Sharon, Katie and Kat – you are at the top of a rollercoaster that’s about to get awesome. All hands up!

November 12: I am so excited to be in LA with the man I love on a day that makes my heart sing. My grandpa Cecil – who left for Heaven 7 years ago today – was the most influential person in my life. He taught me who Jesus is. He lived a humble life – at one time selling flour and Bibles to farmers. He was a man of God, passionate beyond words to preach the good news. Father, farmer, tomato and eggplant lover, thick Alabama drawl, song leader, preacher and my grampa. He baptized me in our pool when I was old enough to listen and understand what it meant to be loved just as I am. Grandpa, I miss you, but you are always here. Every day. You are in my heart with the Christ you introduced me to so long ago.

I was just at lunch in West LA with Ari and my mother in law and I couldn’t help but tear up – and look up – when the waiter brought out grandpa’s favorite… boiled peanuts. Amazing. So grateful that grandpa Cecil lived the life he lived. Tonight I’ll have dinner with the sister I hadn’t seen since I was 8. Late tonight I’ll play in the city with the two women below who have opened my heart wide. Tomorrow we’ll spend the day with Cecil’s beautiful bride – Grandma Bunny. God is good. Today, I stand in awe. lc

November 12: Dinner with my half-sister, Kathy, who my dad hadn’t seen in almost 20 years until recently.  An email to Dad: Just letting you know I’m hanging out with Kathy and John this Friday. Ari is flying out and meeting me in LA and we’re all having dinner on Friday at a place she said she took you. I’m so excited! Then we’re headed to grandmas. I just wanted to say that I’m so happy you pushed through and tried for so long to be close with them despite their initial resistance. It was so worth it and I’m grateful to have more family. I just wanted to say thank you. Love you! It was one of the most memorable nights of my life.  God is so good to bring us together.  I love you, Kathy.  Thank you for making us, dad.  All that heart ache was worth it to get us to today.  I love you.

Grandma Bunny from lara casey on Vimeo.

November 13: We all visited Grandma Bunny in Irvine. Such a special day.

At 92, she is who I want to be when I grow up.  Heart explosions!

November 13: Gina photographed Ari and I.  More heart explosions.  I’m so grateful for how our love has grown.  The greatest work of my life thus far has been on my marriage.  The photos from today day are my favorites ever.  Thank you, G!

November 14: Church in Irvine with Gina, Em, B man and Grandma Bunny. Lots of grateful tears as we sang Amazing Grace and reflected on the last week. It has been a powerful time in our hearts. ‘Twas grace that taught my heart to fear and grace my fears released.’  I don’t think I will ever forget watching Emily – full with new life in her tummy – walk down the church aisle to take communion.  We were all so humbled and floored by God’s work in our lives.  That night we all had dinner with my aunt, uncle and cousin in Laguna Beach.  It was a magical weekend, but it left my heart torn in ways I didn’t expect.

November 15: Back in Los Angeles.  I am in the hotel lobby waiting to see great friends – Harmony Walton and Steven Taylor. I am joyful yet nervous to write this. I feel happy – and at the same time – broken. Like my good friend Jen said to me, broken is a good place to be. Hard, but it means there is clarity and strength on the other side. For the first time in her 92 years, my grandmother showed her age. Amidst great laughs and some good conversation this weekend, she was oddly difficult and senile. It was hard for me to cope with. I felt angry and not like myself. It showed me how weak I am and, like Gina said below, how much I need God to direct my steps. I didn’t want to talk about it or deal with it, but the second we got to our hotel last night the tears bubbled up. It’s funny how tears start as one thing and, when we let go, they flow for so many others. I cried about loss and lots of hurt endured this year, my own weakness, being overwhelmed with so much work from traveling so much, exhaustion, missing my parents, open family wounds that Ari and I had to heal this weekend and I cried for grandma. Ari hugged me and wiped away my tears. This tour has been wonderful in more ways than I can describe, but honestly I am in need of stillness and rest. I have so much joy in my heart to give. I need the peace that passes all understanding. Time to make rest happen. Boarding a plane to Maui soon. I can’t wait to feel the ocean lapping over me. Stepping off that plane to smell the plumeria in the air will be a turning point for me. I’m ready to take that deep breath in. Currently listening to Captivated // Watermark.

November 16: Woke up with the Maui sun with two women who make me want to be my best me, in a place I never dreamed I’d visit, about to do the work that makes my heart sing. I am so proud of Emily and Gina for the power they’ve owned in their lives in the last ten days and the authenticity they have uncovered. I’m so fired up by a long conversation we had on our five hour flight last night…

I’m also really grateful to spend time with Fred and Jory here to renew our friendships. I just can’t believe we are here…

Changed from ten days ago. I almost can’t let myself enjoy this. Sometimes I hold onto moments so tightly so I can’t feel them. It’s just too much clarity and, if I let it wash over me, I know it would change me. My honest [irrational] thought: I don’t want to let go of the pain. I catch myself feeling like I deserve to carry this burden on my heart, as if I don’t deserve forgiveness or joy. I know full well that isn’t true, but that plays in my head for a moment as I gaze out at this ocean, recounting the last year. ‘Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, it is that we are powerful beyond measure.’…

How did I get here to this place in my life? Why? What do you want me to do today, Lord? I’m open. Currently listening to the song that won’t leave me: Mutemath // Odds. And now… to act on the little grain of truth I discovered in San Francisco. I’m ready to run on this beach, hard and fast, and just let go. I’m ready to break through. Here goes… lc

November 17: I have been in full on dance party mode since I woke up at 6am. As we go through this process, peeling back the layers of fear day by day, feeling the fear wash over me, I have started to find a new clarity. Clarity breeds action and acting on fear – breaking through – brings immeasurable joy. But, it first takes getting real with yourself, putting the fear out there, surrendering to it and letting whatever emotions come up wash through you. It takes dropping in and seeing yourself as whole, no matter where you are, no matter what ‘mistakes’ you have made. There are no mistakes, only lessons. It takes brutal authenticity. Brutal because sometimes it means you aren’t pretty or perfect or right. I am so grateful. More than ever. God is so good and my heart is so full. So much to celebrate today, starting with the 91 new friends I have made in the last 10 days. 91 because one of them is me. Dance party ON! lc

November 18: Maui changed my life forever.  Friends, you are powerful beyond measure.  I will never forget this day.  God is so good.

November 18: Came back to the room to discover a note tucked in my laptop that changed my heart. A river of grateful tears. Just hit purchase on my life.

November 19: Last day in Maui, reflecting on 14 days of Making Things Happen.  My heart has never been so full!

November 19: Emily and Gina, I never imagined in these 10,000 miles we’ve traveled together that you would become part of me. Genuinely part of me. Me that I never thought I’d see again – or for the first time. I love you more than my heart can express, but you already know the depth of that. I feel it from you too – unabashed, authentic, real, new love. Thank you. See that thank you written on this Maui sky, because words will never hold my gratitude in the magnitude I feel it.

Through big belly laughs, baby kicks, grateful tears, bittersweet sadness, intense fear that we pushed through together, enough adventure to keep my heart happy for a lifetime, and the hope in things unseen – the hope and faith in Christ that we were gifted by unending grace – I have seen you and in-turn seen myself. Broken and whole in Him.

The change I’ve seen in you leaves me speechless. Do not play small. Ever. You have this. The authentic, whole you has this. Gina, dance it out and feel your immeasurable beauty. Emily, be still and know. You aren’t leaving for another 10 hours and I’m already so sad this day has to end. So many memories in these 14 powerful days ingrained on my heart.

No matter where we are in the world, we are together. IT’S JUST THE BEGINNING. No goodbyes. Go and do. All my heart, Lara

And today: There is only one word big enough to explain what we experienced in these two weeks: God.  God worked in my heart, in Emily and Gina’s hearts and in all of the 110+ people that we had the pure joy of knowing on this journey.  I couldn’t be more full of gratitude this Thanksgiving for all that was, is, and is to come.  Thank you, Gina, Em, and everyone who is a part of my life for making me look UP.

Many thanks to Gina for most of the images you see here.  To see all of the photographs from the whole tour, click here.

A year ago today, I took a big risk and wrote this blog post. Hitting publish on that post – feeling the fear and doing it anyway – is why I’m here today. Maui marked my 20th city doing the Making Things Happen intensive.  So grateful for that leap of faith.

Happy Thanksgiving.  Go and do. (Thank you, brilliant Natalie, for that!)

Love,

[a very happy, grateful, joyful] Lara

P.S. Want to make things happen in 2011?  Join us for the last 2010 Tour stop in Watercolor (we just opened 5 more seats for those of you who just can’t wait!) OR leave a comment here telling us where you want us to go next. Here’s to a brilliant new year!

Hello from NY Bridal Market! It’s been a whirlwind few weeks for me – from press proofing the new issue of Southern Weddings to Katharine’s wedding at Harvard to Salt Lake City for WedSmith and kicking off the MTH Tour to launching V3 and jetting off to The Breakers, I haven’t slowed down much. And now, here I am in my NYC hotel room catching a quick break from the runway to bring you this special post about a very exciting week at Engage! This was my fifth Engage! conference and second time as a speaker.  Pinch me!  I feel so honored to speak and even more elated to attend.  I wrote a post on my daily Tumblr on the way there about preparing for Engage and how much this conference means to me. Rebecca Grinnals, Kathryn Arce and their incredible crew have created a genuine shift in the wedding world with this conference.  I’m just so grateful to know them and for their constant encouragement.  Emily joined me this time for an unforgettable week on Palm Beach at the Breakers Hotel.  You can read Emily’s recaps of all the festivities here:  Day 1, Day 2, Day 3.  Since she covered all the speakers and fabulous goodies, I’m going to tell you a little more about what made this Engage! so special for me.  I’ve been known to write a Mega Post or 4 (Past recaps: Engage08 :: Celebration, Engage09 :: Cayman MegaPost!, Engage09 :: Encore Las Vegas, Engage!10 :: Grand Cayman), so this time I put together a little something special with my friends Lori and Matt of I Do Films and Stevi Savage from Avery House.  I was super sick the whole week of Engage!10 Breakers, but the atmosphere made me forget.  (Hence the puffy eyes and lack o’ voice in what you are about to view.)  Enjoy, y’all!

Southern Weddings Magazine from I Do Films on Vimeo.

A few highlights from this magical week:

V3 makes its debut!

There was so much going on at Engage – great friends, so much learning, new friends, stunning scenery – (and I was perhaps taking a lot of Sudafed to keep the sniffles away) that I didn’t have much time for the big launch to sink in.  I’m still not sure it really has.  I haven’t been home for more than a few days since the beginning of October! In the brief free moments I had, it was wonderful to reflect on all the hard work Katharine, Emily and I put into V3. I’m so happy with the heart of what we created together.

Day one kicked off with a great welcome session led by my roomie, Harmony Walton of the Bridal Bar, Ali Phillips of Engaging Events by Ali, Lienne Stevens of Think Splendid Communications, and Donna VonBruening of DBV Photographers — all six-time attendees sharing their accumulated wisdom as to how to get the most from the conference.  We broke into small groups to get to know each other better.  I was happy to help get the crowd excited and lead one of the groups.

Below with the beautiful Kathryn Arce. I don’t know how she and Rebecca outdo themselves every time!  Seriously, can you start selling whatever magic potion you two use!?

With Emily and Ceci Johnson of CECI New York

The adorable swag bags packed with goodies from The Artcraft Company, Ashley Brooke Designs, Blue Magpie, CECI New York, Checkerboard, Christopher Confero, Engaging Concepts, Fuz, Gifts for the Good Life, GO! Tie the Knot kit, Laura Hooper Calligraphy, liveBooks, Louella Press, Mindy Weiss for Two’s Company, Momental Designs, OPI, Personal Wine, Ring Finger Studio, Sandals Resorts Flip Outs, Savannah Wedding Professionals, Simply You Creations, Superfine Bakery, The Breakers, The Sugar Suite, TullaBelles, WED by Caroline Long, and Wedding Cake Pedestals.

Whew! My favorite surprise was the lovely sketches done by my good friend Kristy Rice from Momental Designs.

Kristy is such a genuine, giving soul and a fabulous artist.  I was so honored to be captured by her brush!  Thank you so much, Kristy!  You inspire me daily with your warmth and passion.

A little peek at my bed at The Breakers.  I love the wave bedspread and pretty much everything in our room. I wanted to take it all home.

Walking the pink carpet with Emily, Todd of todd.events, Randy Fenoli, Laurie Arons, and my bud, Jeff from The Breakers.  Loving Emily’s outfit from Florida-based designer, Caroline Long.

Below :: Cortnie Purdy of Canvas and Canopy Events, my roomie Harmony Walton of The Bridal Bar and Lindsay Pitt of TOAST Events who has a gorgeous spread in V3!

I am very grateful for the gentleman below, Chris Confero.  He has been a close friend and support since we met at the first Making Things Happen conference in Watercolor.  We enjoyed a fabulous “box lunch” in boxes designed by Smock and DK Designs.  So fun!

With my dear friends, Simon T Bailey and Jeff Fowler.  Love you both so much.

At the dessert reception with stunning Marcy Blum, Mel Barlow, Jeff from The Breakers, Emily and Harmony.

Like I said, read Emily’s recaps to fill in all the gorgeous gaps I’m missing: Day 1, Day 2, Day 3. There was so much goodness to enjoy! Fast forward to the closing night gala.  I have genuinely never been so wowed by an event.  WOW WOW WOW!

Can you believe this below!?  Emily said it best: “To say that The Breakers culinary and design staff pulled out all the stops is really not doing it justice.  When we entered the ballroom, there was a chandelier of hanging champagne glasses about twelve feet up in the air.  Oh yes, and there were waiters on STILTS waiting to cut one down for you!  I know this phrase is used a lot, but we all really couldn’t stop ooohing and aaaahing.”  It was extraordinary!

Below with Carol Poon from Bride and Bloom and Harmony.  SW!

Below with Marilyn from Inside Weddings and Christopher and Randy.

Below with Sharon Alexander of Sweet Sensations.  She makes the best red velvet cake on earth, y’all!

Below with Jeff from The Breakers, Cameron Keating from The Breakers, Edward Neary of Joseph Edwards Wedding Filmmakers, and gorgeous Miss Emily!

With Todd Fiscus, and Xoua Vang of Preston Bailey Designs.

Table 8! — Brian Callaway of Callaway Gable, Laura Hooper, Beth Helmstetter, Alexandra Rembac of Sterling Engagements, Leslie Maynor of Fantasy Frostings, Carol Poon, Harmony, and Vanessa Van Wieren of Alchemy Fine Events & Invitations

My favorite moment all night… a slow spin around the dance floor with Randy to “Embraceable You”.  He makes me love life more.

I’m not sure there is anyone who makes women feel more empowered than this man.  He makes everyone feel beautiful.

Two of my favorite men in weddings below: Anthony Luscia from Martha Stewart Weddings and Randy from Say Yes to the Dress.

And perhaps my favorite photograph… another slow spin around the dance floor with my friend, Jeff, who I met at Engage!09 :: Grand Cayman.  I feel so blessed to have such great friends in my life.  Thank you, Jeff, and the entire Breakers crew for making Engage!10 such an unforgettable experience!

Images courtesy of Avery House, DVB Photographers, Mel Barlow, my iPhone and my LX3.

If you’ve read any of my past recaps, you know how much going to this conference means to me. I attribute so much of our success and my personal growth to the roots Engage! has planted and to the friends I have met there. Rebecca and Kathryn, I am so grateful for all you do. Thank you for including me in the magic that is Engage! I am forever grateful!

For all the magic in action, watch these unbelievable edits from Cloud Nine Creative. Day 1:

Engage 10 {Day One} from Cloud Nine Creative on Vimeo.

Day 2:

Engage ‘10 {Day 2 + 3} from Cloud Nine Creative on Vimeo.

OK, dashing back to the runway y’all! Follow me on Twitter for all the bridal market goodness. Here are a few behind-the-scenes pics to tide you over before it all hits the blog!

Congrats to the bow tie giveaway winner, MiaMoreFoto. Email me to pic your bow! Up next, leave a comment telling me what you are most excited about in 2011 (yes, sir, it’s only 11 weeks away!) and win one of my travel essentials.

I’m about to embark on so much travel it makes my head spin and I couldn’t live without these. The amazing folks at Skullcandy, Red Envelope, SmartWater, Cliff Bars (Luna Bars), and Molton Brown are once again giving me one of each of the following to giveaway! So, tell me what excites you about 2011/what you want most in the new year!

Oh, hello pretty blog.  I haven’t forgotten you.  I’ve been blogging almost daily on my Tumblr page instead.  But, I promise to start filling you up with goodness again as soon as we make some technical changes so I can blog from my iPhone.  Mobile blogging seems to work for me.  I can blog while waiting in the Whole Foods line, at the gym, in a boat, with a goat, in the rain, on a train, in a box, with a fox, I do love mobile blogging Sam I am.

OK ok I’m stalling.  I have been nervous to make this announcement because the decision was far from easy.  I even had to recruit the help of Emily, Gina, Marissa and the SW gals to help me choose a scholarship winner for the upcoming Making Things Happen Tour.  The entries were overwhelmingly inspiring and there honestly wasn’t one that was “better” than another.

I sat here with tears in my eyes, as did we all, reading through them.  Just know that no matter what, all of you who entered are destined for great things, regardless of if you attend MTH or not.  Just your words alone, and your ability to share so much of your true selves, shows your passion and your drive.  Thank you all for sharing your hearts!  Amazing!

Before you watch this video, we have a very exciting announcement. Three [amazing, inspiring, generous] MTH2010 Alumni have purchased seats for us to use as additional scholarships.  With all of the incredible entries, have decided to use those towards partial scholarships for several.

MTH2010 started in the spirit of paying it forward and we are just overjoyed to continue on this track!  So, if you are not the main scholarship winner, don’t fear.  You may be getting a phone call from us in the next 48 hours. So, check your email and check that voicemail tomorrow.  We can’t wait to meet you!

Without further ado…

OK ok… some more ado.  I made this montage/video thing really fast.  Busy day here.  I’ve never made a montage/video thing before.  You have full permission to berate my montage/video thing skills.  I’m awesome at jumping moguls on skis and making muffins, so it all evens out.  Watch carefully.  I know it moves fast, so get that espresso brewing! The scholarship announcement is somewhere in here… enjoy!

MAKING THINGS HAPPEN TOUR 2010 from lara casey on Vimeo.

For the record, we chose the winner on an even playing field.  We didn’t look at websites, videos or anything else before choosing a winner.  Seeing her video after she was chosen was just the cherry on top!  Congrats!! Post photos by Millie Holloman from our fun session with her in Wilmington. And the video song is from my favorite MuteMath album, Armistice. Love. That. Song.

P.S. Thank you to all who entered the FujiFilm Instax Mini giveaway from the last post.  If you want to be inspired… oh my goodness!  Read all of these comments.  Wow!  The winner, chosen at random, is Katrina! Email me to claim your prize.

P.S.S. SOOOO MUCH IS GOING ON RIGHT NOW!  I’ll be speaking at WedSmith in Salt Lake City next week, launching a magazine in 19 days and speaking at Engage the week we launch. Follow along with me via Twitter and Tumblr (for now).  I’ll be back to regularly scheduled LaraCasey.com programing very soon.

P.S.S.S. It’s fall.  Unreal.  Where did the time go!?  Tell me your favorite thing about fall and a random winner will get one of the bow ties from my collection.  [photo below left by Brett Arthur]

Many of these – from Southern Proper, Xoelle, The Cordial Churchman and Forage will be featured in V3.  Your choice.  Leave a comment below.

We traveled to 13 cities this year to challenge people to conquer fear and harness their true potential.  Never in a million years would I have guessed the result.  I can’t take credit for what the MTH Alumni have accomplished since we first met 7 months ago.  They genuinely lived what I said: Feel the fear and do it anyway.   The feedback has blown me away. Photo below :: Jasmine Star.

One of the biggest factors in all of this success has been the community that has formed from MTH.  The support I see every single day from past attendees is just phenomenal.  There aren’t words big enough to describe what these people have done for each other to help one another conquer fear and make really big things happen in their lives and in business.  There have been countless late night phone calls, group Skype chats to offer encouragement, weekly meet-ups, a thousand encouraging texts, uplifting emails (I know all of this because I’ve been a recipient myself!), hourly Twitter messages to encourage and support, many tears, frustrations, hurdles, triumph, and remarkable advances. Photo below :: Poser

I am so excited to announce new cities for the Making Things Happen Tour!  Salt Lake City, Houston, Phoenix, San Francisco, Los Angeles and Maui will be making big things happen this fall!  Register here by September 1st for the early bird rate. Photo below :: Wesley Leytham

Because the seats are so limited –only 10 seats available per city instead of 20– I expect this to sell out quickly.  I wish I could visit more cities, but with the upcoming release of our new issue and a packed schedule, I simply don’t have time.  So, jump on these places!  Many are easy to travel to and are large airport hubs if you are flying in. Photo below :: Photogen

Because we’ve cut the attendee count in half for each stop to keep these groups focused and give more personal time, I am only offering one scholarship (details below) for this round of the tour (yes, really just one unlike last time). There will be no partial scholarships either, but if you would like to inquire about financing plans, email my awesome assistant, Marissa.

I’m also verrrry excited about the big MTH2010 Reunion this December in Watercolor — where all the magic began!  All past attendees are invited to join us for a weekend of inspiration, fun in the sun and a few surprises.  Yes, if you attend the Tour in November, you are of course welcome to join us at the reunion.  I. Can’t. Wait!

Heartfelt thanks to Jeff Holt (who is the reason I started this tour!), Jeremy Cowart, Nick Onken, Jose Villa, Stacie Francombe, Blair and Christy from Junebug Weddings, the amazing First Class, and all of the incredible alumni who have encouraged this powerful journey.  I am forever grateful.  And I have to send huge thanks to Katharine and Emily who celebrated their one year anniversary with me today.  I wouldn’t have the courage to do this if it wasn’t for their daily support.  They always remind me that I can do anything I am passionate about.  I love you both!

With love,

Lara

P.S. Congrats to the past post winners: Elizabeth Hafner from Vignette Photography, Katie from Intertwined Events, Briana from Wake Up, Juliet, Katherine from Solo Dot Mom, and Megan Floyd!  Email me your mailing address for your special prize.  I have read the comments on that post several times over and I never cease to be inspired!  Thank you all for your thoughts.

P.S.S.  The MTH Scholarship opportunity is LIVE!  You have till Monday August 16th to get your comment in. All the details…

So, what do you want to make happen? Tell me the city you’d like to attend in as well…

I know why I danced the night away with Randy and Todd at the closing night Engage!10 gala: it was the only thing that came close to expressing my pure joy after what we had experienced that week. We danced and laughed and genuinely celebrated life, relationships, the past, failures, hurdles overcome, and
the very bright future. I looked at my roommates, Jasmine Star and Harmony Walton, at one point and whispered, “How lucky are we?”

To say that our time in Cayman was inspiring would be a serious understatement. Yes, it was inspiring, but there aren’t words big enough to describe the feeling I left with and still have after that week. This is the largest post I’ve ever written, and y’all know I tend to write some epic blog posts. So, without further ado… my favorite week of all time.

I got on the plane, nervous but ripe with anticipation. My first trip to Cayman last year was magical. The air, the sea, the Ritz, the palpable feeling of hope and possibility in being surrounded by the industry’s best was all I could think about. A last-minute first class upgrade upped the excitement a little more. Thank you, Delta! I was still uncomfortable and relished the extra room. I sat down next to a gorgeous woman with long dark hair and great shoes. Who would happen to sit in front of me? My dear friend Simon T. Bailey, whom I met at the very first Engage event I attended in 2008. Simon has been a constant source of inspiration and guidance for me. I was so comforted in seeing him. Halfway through the flight, I started editing a blog post on Southern Weddings, and the lovely lady next to me said, “Are you Lara Casey?” I was delighted to meet Hilary from Alta Moda Bridal in Salt Lake City. She is a gem and we instantly connected. Also on my flight: my friend Kathy Strukel, Karen Tran (who sat right behind me the whole flight and we never noticed!) and Editor-in-Chief of Utah Brides, Tessa Woolf. I was in great company, and my butterflies started to melt. A huge thank you to Matt and Stevi Savage of Avery House who photographed most of the images here (unless otherwise noted).

In Cayman there are no jetways, so when you arrive, you walk straight out into the salty hot sunshine. In the not-so-far-off distance, there’s live music, and smiling faces greet you as you make your way to customs. [images below :: me... taken with my Panasonic Lumix DMC-LX3. Thank you Nate at Image is Found for the camera rec! Love it.]

We loaded a bus and were given cold water and iced towels to refresh us from the long flight.

I was delighted to finally meet Cassandra Santor, Dena Brummer, Chriscia Jackson-Nesbitt, Jules Bianchi and many more at check-in.

I got my key and rushed up to see Harmony and Jasmine as fast as I could, as if we were long-lost sisters reunited. [image :: Jasmine Star]

From the moment I walked into that room, I knew the week was going to be far better than I could fathom. I sat on the bed and chatted with Harmony and Jasmine and prayed a silent prayer: God, thank you. Thank you for this opportunity to learn, to grow. Thank you for these brilliant women and the opportunity to get to know them better. Help me to let go and just be me. Thank you, thank you! [below :: Avery House]

This was my fourth Engage and by far the most significant for me. It was a turning point.

Egos were checked at the door as 155 of the best in the luxury wedding market came together to discuss big ideas, market shifts, and the future… which, my friends, is looking really good. You hear the term “game changer” used too often these days. Engage attendees don’t change the game… they create a whole new one. New rules, new players, new paths, new ideas. At the helm: Rebecca Grinnals and Kathryn Arce. I liken them to the presidents of Wedding Nation. Although, their oval office is so much more stylish than his.

To me, the location had a large hand in making us all focused. Now, you’re probably thinking, “How could going to a tropical island with fruity drinks make you more focused?” Easy. It was an escape. It wasn’t a familiar stodgy conference room like most conferences we are used to. The locale, the scenery, the sunsets took our breath away and made everything we left back in the US disappear. Being in Cayman is like pushing the reset button. You forget the past and concentrate on the relationships and the beauty right in front of you. I was able to find so much clarity in that. I love these images from Matt and Stevi. They take me right back.

The water in Cayman is the bluest I’ve ever seen. I don’t like getting in large bodies of water. I imagine fish nipping at my toes and stingrays leaping at me. But I could swim in this azure heaven forever.

Last year I attended Engage Cayman as a first-time speaker, but was so nervous about making a good impression that the whole thing flew by in a blur. This year, I saw relationships that I had started many moons ago really begin to take root. There was something magical in the Caymanian air, and I wasn’t the only one who sensed this. Pictured below last year with Jeff Fowler and Kym Bichon who will be hosting us at The Breakers in October for Engage.

[below :: Avery House]

Shortly after we settled into the hotel room, we went to the Engage Welcome Lounge to pick up our conference materials. Seeing everyone for the first time always gets me fired up! [images below :: me]

Love, love, love these folders and enclosures from Envelopments, letterpress cards from Bella Figura and Engage designs from Trisha Hay at We Are Chariot.

Read below carefully. L.O.V.E. this! Bravo, Envelopments.

[below :: Avery House]

How fun are these canvas swag bags from Tulla Belles?! You will see this appear in my travels again. The owner, Cindy, is one of my favorite people to see at Engage. The bags were filled to the brim with goodies! [below :: Avery House]

I was so excited about the gorgeous illustrations from artist Kristy Rice. Kristy always does lovely work and she is genuinely one of the most kind-hearted people in the industry. [below :: Avery House]

We sat in on a welcome session with my roommate Harmony as well as five-time Engage alums Ali Phillips, Liene Stevens, and Donna Von Bruening. The atmosphere from day one was electric. This session really helped us break the ice. We got into small groups toward the end and Harmony asked us three questions:

1. What do you do now?

I am the Editor-in-Chief of Southern Weddings magazine, CEO of luxury wedding market consulting firm Lara Casey Reps (which I launched at Engage last year), principal designer for Bliss Event Group, founder of MTH2010, wife to Ari, mom to Abby Kitty Pants, and I love the gym, singing hymns and great food. In my spare time I am getting my PhD, enjoy weekly triathlons, and breed Cattle. Kidding. No, really.

2. Where were you 10 years ago?

Probably in ballet class dreaming of the day I wouldn’t have to wear a leotard and tights 24/7.

3. Where do you want to be 10 years from now?

Aaaand this is where I always get stuck. All I could think of was that I want to be teaching Sunday school. !?!? I am not good at future, goal-setting, planning questions, believe it or not. Sean Low (who was sitting right next to me) and I instantly had the same reaction. I have no idea where I’ll be on 10 years or what I want to play out. Everything in my life thus far has exceeded anything I could possibly have dreamed up myself, so it’s hard to think ahead. By the end of the trip, I was able to answer this though. Read on.

[images below :: me]

Then, the ever-fabulous Darcy Miller (I don’t think I’ve ever described someone like that. She really is always stunning, always charming, and pretty much who I want to be when I grow up) gave us a behind-the-scenes look at the Martha Stewart brand.

After Darcy’s lovely presentation, I went straight back to the room with Jasmine and Harmony. All you could hear was the furious clicking of computer keys as we pounded out work between Engage events. [images below :: Jasmine Star]

You want to know what makes successful people… successful? Passion and sacrifice. There were long stretches of time where we could have been at the beach, but the three of us would be clicking away, making things happen. Oh, we definitely got to the beach. Don’t worry. But, I was encouraged to see I’m not the only one who has to focus and sacrifice play time now and then to keep the wheels turning. My greatest take-away from my first Engage conference in 2008 was being surrounded by like-minded passionate people. There is a great comfort in knowing that there are people out there who work harder, smarter, faster. Jasmine and Harmony have me in complete awe. They are the real deal: genuine, humble, brilliant beyond words, and so giving. I never had sisters, but I’d like to dub these two my honorary ones. We laughed, talked till 5am most nights, shared industry news and encouraging words. As Jasmine said, “Epic times.” Epic times, indeed.

Harmony turned the camera on Jasmine at one point. The girl has some skills….

I turned my iPhone on snap-happy Harmony. Love Jasmine’s face here.

Monday night, we put on our beach best and headed to Seven Mile Beach for the big welcome party. [images below :: Avery House]

When you are catering to the who’s who in weddings, the pressure is on with party planning. The Celebrations Cayman team seriously pulled out all the stops with the flowers and decor all week.

We were greeted by a shoe valet and happy waiters with fruity drinks as we made our walk on the blue carpet. Too fun!

I had to pick my jaw up off the floor with this massive piece below. Wow wow wow. As a floral enthusiast (I used to design for this guy), the sheer volume of yellow dendrobiums (which I have never seen before) took my breath away.

There was one moment in the night when a gust of rain blew in, forcing us all under a few small beach cabanas. Soaked to the brim, it was quite the bonding experience. We all laughed it off and shared beach towels that were rushed out by swarms of Ritz staffers.

Engage never ceases to be wildly exciting. Now that I know so many of the faces, it’s like a big family reunion. A few favorites I encountered: Randy Fenoli and Jennifer, his agent from Abrams (Randy’s other agent Mark at Abrams was the reason I almost moved to LA after college back in my acting days… way, way back when. Such a small world.), Sean Low, Marcy Blum, Millie Martini Bratten, Michelle Rago, Kimberly Fink and Rebecka Nave, Danielle Cococcia, Alexandra Jusino, Aiesha Panton, Amy Rubbins, Carla David, Jennifer Stein (who I totally hit it off with and adore!), Katie Martin, Tim O’Neill, Maya Kalman, Ami Price, Maria Cooke, Rosalind and Siri of Two Bright Lights, Christy from Junebug Weddings, the incomparable and hilarious Calder Clark, Kathryn, Rebecca, and Rebecca’s amazing parents. They always make my heart smile. Mr. Grinnals and I shared some rum raisin ice cream and s’mores at one of the dessert stations that night… to die for! I met too many amazing people to name that night.

We attempted to go to bed early, but failed miserably. After such a brilliant first day in paradise with so many inspiring greats, my heart was racing with anticipation for Day 2.

Day 2:

The Cayman Islands Department of Tourism got things started with a bang. Seeing how much they value the wedding industry and our presence there really makes you appreciate the island even more. They take great pride in their land and culture and it’s impossible not to feel their warmth and hospitality. Many thanks to the Cayman Islands crew for making us feel so welcome! [images below :: Avery House]

I’m pretty sure you could count 155 huge smiles from 155 attendees as Rebecca and Kathryn took to the stage. Rebecca’s State of the Luxury Wedding Industry address is always my favorite. I get a very clear picture of where the wedding market stands and what to watch.

A few highlights:

A must-watch. The Social Media Revolution:

78% of people trust peer recommendations. Only 14% trust advertisements.

Listen first, sell second.

Wondering why I think Jasmine Star is one of the most genuine, brilliant, humble women I know? This video says it all:

Jasmine Star 2010 from Anton Lorimer on Vimeo.

Pictured below: Jasmine, Harmony and Maria Cooke of Ritzy Bee who was just featured as an expert in Martha Stewart Weddings! Go Maria!!! [image below :: me]

When I first started to conceptualize the magazine, I was living in Ventura, California, where Ari was stationed. Jasmine was one of the first people to reach out to me when we put our test issue out (and I’m pretty sure she’s one of only a handful of people who have seen the test issue!). We tried to meet a few times but never were able to coordinate schedules. It took me moving to North Carolina and going to WPPI years later for us to finally meet. I was really grateful to get to know her more on this trip.

I am wildly impressed by Canada’s WedLuxe video editorial integration. Stunning. This one deserves a whole blog post. Angela Desveaux wrote me a very sweet email this week and noted that she and I have something in common… we’re both in our early thirties and we not only hold the title of Editor-in-Chief, but Publisher. I suppose that is a rarity nowadays, but I wouldn’t want it any other way. OK, back to said gorgeous editorial film… I have to admit that when I watched this, I said out loud, “Oh my goodness, I am so far behind.” Learning that Angela’s husband is the genius behind this film somehow made me feel a little better. There is infinite value in what they’ve created, and I started to imagine myself buying lottery tickets to pay for this kind of gem. Gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous!

WedLuxe Summer/Fall 2010 from Cloud Nine Creative on Vimeo.

Next, we sat in on a panel discussion with Sylvia Weinstock and Marcy Blum led by one of my industry idols, Millie Martini-Bratten of Brides. Best quote from the very spunky Sylvia: “Make love to the magazines!” [images below :: Avery House]

Carley Roney of The Knot is always so refreshing to listen to. For someone who helps to run such a massive global company, she is surprisingly candid, approachable, and warm. It was great to visit with her again and learn from her. I really admire all that she and David have built from the ground up.

Some takeaways from her presentation:

Luxury weddings are recession resistant. -Carley Roney

A brand is a promise of the value received. -Tom Peters

55% of luxury brides go over budget, 23% on target, 20% don’t have one, 3% under budget.

40k or more weddings spend 9% of budget on photography, 40k or less spend 12%. Luxury brides spend more than $4,500 average.

41% of luxury brides begin planning more than 12 months out. They want to have the best and be educated well in advance.

90% of brides use wedding magazines to plan their weddings as compared to 81% for non-luxury. No surprise to me. I may be biased.

A world without bad reviews is fake. -Carley Roney

Keep your blinders on and focus on what you need to be doing for YOUR customer. -Carley Roney 100% agreed.

Next up, powerhouse Cindy Novotny. To explain what she does in simplest form: she tells big businesses how to do things better, faster, and with a fiercely focused game plan.

Nuggets of wisdom from Cindy:

You are too busy? So what? Get over it! Integrate work and personal time.

The world is changing so fast… big will not beat small – it will be the fast beating the slow. – Rupert Murdoch

Email should never replace real in-person conversation with customers

The luxury consumer will never stop working with luxury vendors. They want custom, personal, over-delivered service.

I was lucky enough to get invited to dinner with her that evening. Jasmine and Harmony threatened to fight me for my dine-around card. No joke. They did. [images below :: my trusty iPhone]

Everyone is upping the ante. It is about who creates more passion and connectivity with the client. Yes, yes, yes!

Never say: It’s too risky, it can’t be done, it won’t work, why can’t we do what we have always done?

Brilliant advice. Take 1 hour a week to just think. No music, no distractions, no writing. Genius comes of that.

10 Keys: observe, think, change, dare, banish, try, question, grow, do, enjoy.

Cindy garnered an instant standing ovation as she closed. Thank you, Cindy, for all of your wisdom! On a high from Novotny knowledge, we were invited to lunch in the ballroom next door. Engage is always full of surprises and we eagerly anticipate each transition. Naturally, the room was decked out and the food was divine! I love love love this teal capiz paillette overlay from Nuage Designs. I wanted to take it home with me, but someone might have noticed if I was stripping tables mid-gazpacho. [images below :: Avery House]

I had a lovely lunch with Randy, Sylvia, Christy and Jennifer. Since meeting him last year, Randy and I have become good friends. I always appreciate his insight and love dishing with him about personal style, love, adventure, family and the future. I’ll be honest… I don’t watch “Say Yes to the Dress”. I’ve seen about 10 minutes of it. I don’t really watch TV and I didn’t really grasp Randy’s celebrity until a swarm of squealing fans come up to him in an elevator in Vegas last year. I gravitate towards him because he truly celebrates life to the fullest. His joy is contagious and he always makes me feel good. I can see why 80 brides flock to him a day to find “the one” at Kleinfeld.

Christy from Junebug Weddings is one of those people that lights up a room. I was so glad to spend more time with her in Cayman. She and Blair were guest speakers at my Seattle Making Things Happen stop and it was an unforgettable day. I’m so grateful for all they do for our industry. [images below :: me]

I’m not a big lunch person, but I devoured this. Every. last. bit.

Below: Randy and Rebecca, who is the accessory queen at Engage. No, really… she literally has three drawers in her room full of color-specific accessories to choose from for her Engage outfits. I loved this yellow jacket! At right: Sean Low, Randy, me. Sean has always been a great support to me and it was fun to catch up with him. I got to sit in on a wildly exciting conversation between Sean and another industry great at the dessert reception the night before. All I can say is it was epic… like a tennis match between two powerhouses, but instead of tennis balls they were firing diamonds. OK, sorry to be cryptic. Just marking this for my own memory.

When I lived in California I did some work for Colin Cowie. I had never met Colin, but I worked on logistics for one of his biggest events. He spent most of his presentation outlining the creation of that event which was really exciting for me to see. [images below :: Avery House]

Colin’s voice alone made pretty much every female in the room swoon… and probably most of the guys. He is the epitome of dashing, debonair, any word you can think of in the incredibly charming family. On top of that, he is a brilliant designer and leader. I was captivated as he spoke.

There’s no reason to do anything ordinary when you can do extraordinary. -Colin Cowie

The ultimate luxury is proactive, personalized, detailed service. -Colin Cowie

Then, the presentation that blew my statistical mind: the survey results from Two Bright Lights. We just received a copy in my office and Katharine and Emily are just as gaga over the results as I am.

A few key points:

Planners and designers who use Twitter for business made 92% more revenue than those who just tweet personal info.

Photographers who blog make an average of 26% more revenue. Planners, only 1%.

Take note: 56% higher revenue for planners who submit real weddings to mags and blogs. 73% for photographers.

Higher revenue wedding businesses do NOT negotiate on pricing.

Publishing your complete price list filters out lucrative customers prematurely.

The biggest takeaway from the survey: print ads give a significantly higher return to photographers than online ads.

There is so much more to share, so watch out for our post coming up on Southern Weddings next week with key findings.

After such a full day of brain goodness overload, it was time to cut loose. We didn’t waste any time and got a little camera happy on stage. [images :: Jasmine Star]

Oh yes… we did…

I love this one. Thanks, J, for not publishing the one of me looking like a giraffe.

We had a quick 45 minutes to get dressed and head to dinner. There are over a dozen hosted dinners all over the island and about 10ish people go to each. We all met in the Ritz lobby to be taken to these various locations. It’s a pretty exciting night and a fun chance to experience the island. [images below :: me]

I am a bit of a foodie (thank you French chef mother) and I have to say… the food in Cayman is better than anywhere I’ve been. From fine dining at Eric Ripert’s Blue to the casual but expertly created island fare we had at Cracked Conch that night, Cayman has it all. Pictured below with (clockwise from my right) Kristy Rice, Rebecca Davidson, Xochitl from Always a Blogsmaid, Donna Von Breuning, Cassandra Santor, Beth Helmstetter, Carolyn Steere from Destination IDo Magazine, Hilary Anderson, Tara Bradley from Destination Weddings and Honeymoons Magazine, and Cindy Novotny to my left. The food was fabulous that evening, but we were so focused on every word that was coming out of Cindy’s mouth that I wasn’t paying too much attention to what was going into mine.

After dinner, we were taken back to the Ritz for a poolside dessert reception. It’s always fun to hear about everyone’s dinner experiences. Pictured below: Rebecca’s parents, Trisha Hay, Cindy of Tulla Belles, Kathryn and friends dip their feet in the pool.

The decor, again, was magical. I rarely want to freeze time. I like moving forward, action, and making things happen. Engage changed that. It all started with a moment…

We were enjoying a decadent spread of made-to-order crepes, home made ice cream and souffle. I looked around to see Carley Roney and Marcy Blum in front of me, Colin Cowie to my left, Michelle Rago to my right, and Millie Martini Bratten behind me. In that moment I felt very small. It was barely 10 years ago that I was in college, obsessed with Preston Bailey, pulling tears from magazines of Colin and Michelle’s work, day-dreaming of meeting them some day. And there I was. I’ve known Michelle as a colleague and friend for several years now and met Millie, Carley and Marcy at past Engage events, but things have moved so fast for me that I’m just now starting to take it all in. In that moment, I remembered the feeling of awe. I was overwhelmed with emotion.

These people are and always will be celebrities to me. Not because of their names, but because they have consistently taught me. They inspired me many years ago to dream in flowers, fabric, light and expertly-crafted space. I’m grateful to them for guiding me, without knowing it, into an industry I truly love. I couldn’t ask for a better job to wake up and do every day. OK, maybe if our office was in Cayman…

So, I literally stopped and –not caring if anyone saw me– pinched myself. Was this really happening? Anthony Luscia, special projects editor for Martha Stewart Weddings, was talking to me? Me?! I met him at Engage09 :: Something Blue the previous year too, but this year somehow felt different. My nerves were calm and my eyes were finally open. I took a deep breath and everything around me seemed to slow down. This is real. It’s not just a one-time occurrence. You’re in this, Lara. I can’t really put into words the feeling of gratitude and responsibility that overtook me in that moment. All I can do is say thank you. Thank you Rebecca and Kathryn for believing in me and for opening doors for me that I never knew were possible to open. It’s not about what those relationships will do for me. It’s just the relationships themselves. I wholeheartedly believe this: “You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.” Truly successful people are who they are because of drive, humility, kindness, innovation, and honesty. Spend a week with inspiring creatives who have in many ways mastered those traits and it starts to sink in… it’s time to grow up.

Day 3

We started at 8am with a series of breakout sessions. There were 6 one-hour sessions and we got to choose 4. My schedule: “The Business of Being Creative” with Sean Low, “Style Sells” with Randy Fenoli and Todd-Avery Lenahan, “Shift” with Simon T Bailey, and “How To Do Everything Well” with Todd Fiscus. [images below :: me]

Sean has a great blog called The Business of Being Creative. Definitely a must-read.

Something I learned the very first time I heard Sean speak at Engage08 is to add value to your services (your art) first in order to command a higher price, not the other way around. Art has exponential value that no one can replicate. Read his blog for more. I am paraphrasing.

Simon T. Bailey’s new book, Simon Says Shift, comes out later this year. [images below :: Avery House]

It’s impossible to drive into the future looking in the rear view mirror. -Simon T. Bailey

Randy and Todd-Avery’s presentation was very powerful for me. Personal branding is something I am fascinated by. I truly believe you are your brand.

The bottom line: If you’re going to sell luxury, you better look luxury. -Randy Fenoli and Todd-Avery Lenahan

The always fashionable, Sylvia, gave her thoughts on personal branding and style as well. Her famous glasses have defined her image from the moment she started her business at age 50. Yes, 50! How’s that for inspiring!? We all laughed as Randy recounted the story of Sylvia and her husband Ben coming down for breakfast in Cayman last year in just their bathrobes. I will never forget that moment. If anyone can pull it off, it’s Sylvia.

Todd Fiscus was a conference favorite for several reasons.   1. The guy is brilliant. He runs multiple extremely successful businesses… very well.   2. He is an innovator, always pushing the envelope with style and design. [images below :: Avery House]

3. It blows my mind that he only started his company 5 years ago. Unreal.   4. Just look at his website. It’s hands-down the best site in the industry. [images below :: me]

5. He’s a warm, funny, genius true Texan. I love his big personality and big Texas accent!

We wrapped up Day 3 and finally headed to the beach! [images below :: Avery House]

How lovely is this!?

Thanks to these two crazy cats for most of the images in this post.

We watched a storm off in the distance. The sky against the pure aqua water was incredible. [images below :: me]

I have such fond memories with the next set of images. Some of my favorite times ever.

It’s not easy to find true friends in the industry that you can really let your guard down with and talk about anything… fears, insecurities, hopes and dreams.

I found that in Harmony and Jasmine. Such a blessing to know these two.

Great to see Ami from Elizabeth Anne Designs who also writes a fantastic blog called Edit and Post.

I had some soulful convo with my cabana neighbor Christy. Love this lady.

Can we please go back now? Pretty please!?

I. Love. This. Picture. Fresh sliced green apples delivered straight to our beach chairs. Whaaat!?!

This looks like a terrible green drink mess, but it was divine. It’s just a lot of mint, not some healthy weird wheatgrass thing. I promise.

Boxed lunch, Ritz-style.

Mmmmmmm….

After a long afternoon of fun in the sun, it was time to get gussied up for the big closing night gala! [image below :: Rebecca Davidson]

This beats any red carpet event any day. This is the same big conference room you saw on Day 2. Unbelievable transformation. Thank you, Celebrations Cayman, for making us feel like such VIP’s! [images below :: Avery House]

The linens, the lighting, the flowers, oh my!

A highlight at the past three Engage conferences has been Randy and Sylvia’s spin around the dance floor. Epic!

No one… I repeat… NO ONE has ever gotten me out on an empty dance floor in a room full of people. It’s easy to feel a sense of total abandon and comfort with Mr. Fenoli. [Image by David Wolfe]

Cue Randy and Lara dance party. [image below :: Rebecca Davidson]

There isn’t a single person on earth I have more fun dancing with. Randy is joy personified!

I think the world of Marcy Blum (below left). Her witty writing is top notch, she is an eventiste extraordinaire, she’s gorgeous and … she’s a red head. I feel lucky to know her and learn from her. Below right, Randy joked that he was Hugh with his two red head bunnies. I think Marcy needed to be in this pic too! [below :: me]

And to think just a few hours earlier we were a mess with salt water and sand. We clean up pretty well, no?

Nothing makes me happier at an event than great lighting. Sending a collective thank you hug out to all the lighting designers of the world. Yes all of you. Bear hug.

Randy’s agent, Jennifer, had never been to a wedding conference of any kind before. I think we spoiled her. She was so kind and down to earth. So glad to start a great new friendship with her.

How beautiful are Rebecca’s parents? Get to know them and you will see where Rebecca’s charm comes from.

With event planner Beth Helmstetter and calligrapher Laura Hooper. I always love seeing these two. Laura always created gorgeous maps and illustrations for Engage.

Joined by the Belle of the Ball, Ms Harmony Walton. OK, she did not want to wear that dress that night but J and I twisted her arm. Harmony, you look stunning!

There was no shortage of dancing. The last half of this video from IDo Films is proof.

I was so busy dancing and chatting it up all night that I forgot to eat. I never forget to eat. Harmony came up to me and said cryptically, “go to the curtain in the back. Trust me.” I gave her a funny look thinking it was just the mojitos talking and she quickly escorted me to “the curtain”… aka the kitchen door in the back.   A gentleman came right up and asked me what I wanted.  I felt so bad asking for something after the food was already gone so I tried to just say thank you and leave.  He would not let me leave until I ordered something.  I told them to just bring whatever and 5 minutes later a waiter came out with a full dinner on a silver platter… all my favorite foods that I had previously ordered from room service over my stay. Three people came out afterward just to make sure I loved it.  I am pretty sure I high-fived waiter number 3.   I’m not sure if he’s supposed to high-five people, but I just couldn’t help it.  Customer service WIN!  Like Colin Cowie said, “there’s no reason to do anything ordinary when you can do extraordinary.”

On a hospitality high, I finished my decadent meal and did a little blue carpet walking with (from left to right) Stevi Savage, Matt Savage, Kathy Strukel, Belle of the Ball, me, and Maria Cooke.

Pictured below with Desiree Patterson, Jasmine and Paige Levy. [below :: Harmony]

And now for some photo booth fun. [below :: Jennifer Domenick of Love Images]

Don’t ask. I laughed so hard my sides hurt.

Try to caption these. Just try.

After going to sleep at the ripe hour of 5am, we woke up late… OK, correction… I woke up late and headed straight down to the beach with my roomies to enjoy one last day in paradise. [images below :: me]

Another storm brewed off the coast, making for towering clouds and distant flashes of lightning. I love fierce storms. I don’t know why, but they always calm me down and make me want to curl up on the couch. Or beach lounger.

A big black pirate ship passed in the distance as I began to reflect on such our magical week.

When I think about my favorite parts of the week or the things that changed me the most, the first thing that comes to mind, besides the speakers, is the long walk Jasmine and I took down Seven Mile Beach that day. Life moves so fast that we don’t take time to just let go and really dream. Do you want to know what Jasmine’s magnetism is? Authenticity. Her honesty and zest for life make you feel like it’s ok to be you. I have a hard time with future-thinking and identifying what it is that I really want. It always changes, it seems. I don’t know what came over me, but as we walked along the beach, chatting about family, marriage, the future and failures, I started to find a little grain of clarity. I started to dream. So many people tell me to stop dreaming. “You are so busy, how do you do it all, you can’t possibly do more, take a break, do you ever stop!?” Well, I don’t want to do more.  I want to be more of myself.  I want to give more of myself. I want to use everything God has given me to teach and be taught. I want to let go every day and say, “whatever your will is, I’m there.” It’s a hard thing to do… to let go of control and stop making our own plans. As the sea lapped on our feet, I took a deep breath and mentally took a picture. I unknowingly made a lot of decisions in that moment. When you find clarity, you have no choice but to act on it. I am so grateful for that time. Hi, my name is Lara and I love candlelit dinners, snow-capped mountains… and long walks on the beach.

We came back and sat with Harmony as the sun dipped into the sea. Harmony and I met at the first Engage I attended in Celebration, FL. She is so knowledgeable, connected and business savvy… I could go on and on.   She has been my cheerleader through so much.  Harmony tells it like it is and doesn’t take no for an answer. I tend to let some people take advantage of me. I am a people pleaser. I’ve have had to learn how to say no and tell people when I’m really hurt by them. I learned so much from being in the presence of her no-nonsense strength that week. She doesn’t know it (well, now she does) but she helped me make one of the biggest decisions I’ve ever made.

Being with Harmony and Jasmine made me take a good hard look at my life and start to pull weeds. And some big honkin’ trees. Thank you, ladies, for your honesty and generous hearts. It’s so hard for me to find female friends who don’t have a competitive spirit with me and, being around you both, I felt like I could completely let go.  Our time in Cayman will always stay close to me.

If you’ve been following Twitter over the last few days, you’ve been flooded with a barrage of Engage10 talk. If I hadn’t gone, I can imagine I’d feel a little left out. Well, you weren’t (and, luckily, Engage happens twice a year). Engage is like the G8… it’s the meeting of the minds that sets things in motion. If you didn’t go, you will still benefit from its effects. You will see how the relationships and ideas formed there will change the industry for the better and benefit everyone around us. Great quote from Sean Low: “Engage10 is just another wedding conference like the Hope Diamond is just another rock.” Not even a week after our return, I’m seeing the positive momentum continue to grow like wildfire. A few posts from attendees:

Jasmine Star
Hilary from Alta Moda Bridal
Harmony Walton part I and part II
Sean Low
Liene Stevens
Tom McCallum
Kristy Rice Part I, Part II

JoAnne Brown of Celebrations Cayman

Rebecca Davidson

Avery House

Exquisite Weddings

Jules Bianchi

Ami Price 1 and 2

Love Life Images

If I missed yours, leave a comment and I’ll add it!

Here I came to the very edge
where nothing at all needs saying,
everything is absorbed through weather and the sea,
and the moon swam back,
its rays all silvered,
and time and again the darkness would be broken
by the crash of a wave,
and every day on the balcony of the sea,
wings open, fire is born,
and everything is blue again like morning.
-Pablo Neruda

With love,

Lara

P.S. Have questions about Engage? If you’re thinking of going for the first time, feel free to email me or leave a comment here. I’d be happy to answer any questions about my past experiences.

Past recaps: Engage08 :: Celebration, Engage09 :: Cayman MegaPost!, Engage09 :: Encore Las Vegas.

Sitting in a hospital bed two weeks ago, I was convinced I wasn’t going to Engage.  I shifted my weight a little in church, feeling a small pain in my stomach. I thought to myself, Maybe it’s the Indian food from last night. Maybe it’s the bread and grape juice from communion. It’ll go away.

It didn’t.

I texted Ari hesitantly:  I think… I need to go to the ER.  Something is wrong with me. Now, I am extremely stubborn about my health.  I have a high pain tolerance and haven’t been to an emergency room in 5 years.  I’d rather suffer than take pain killers and or go anywhere near a hospital.

I got home, barely able to walk at that point, and fell down on the couch shivering.  I couldn’t help but think of Jeff’s appendicitis story that he told at the beginning of each MTH2010.  The chills kept growing, fever came on like wildfire and within 7 minutes we were on the way to Ari’s second home.

When your husband does nothing but read CT’s, MRI’s and deal with trauma all day long and he looks worried, it’s easy for a girl to panic.  I cried.  It hurt to cry.  I stopped crying.  Not only did I have a huge event that weekend, but I had to go to Cayman in 7 days.  Miss Engage?  No way. Yes, my mind when straight to work.  Ari told me to be calm and not focus on work for a second.  He called all the docs and I stumbled into a hospital bed and a gown.  I also started to slip into more serious pain.  I told Ari to call Katharine and Emily and prepare them to take over for one of our busiest weeks to date.

I’m not sure if it was Ari’s sage advice or the morphine they injected in me, but I stopped thinking about work for a moment.  I just prayed.  I prayed for the lady in the bed next to me, too.  I couldn’t see her, but she sounded like she was in her 90’s, in a lot of pain, and very alone.   I wanted to ask the nurse to push my bed up next to hers so I could hold her hand and pray with her, but a flood of surgeons quickly squelched my spirit.  Surgery?  Surgery!? As I was poked and prodded –while dazed from pain killers that were having very adverse affects on my sensitive body– another nurse started an IV.  It all happened so fast.  The combination of stress, needles, and the word surgery quickly took the blood from my head and I was out cold.  For someone who relishes control, passing out is by far the worst feeling on earth.  It’s not a laughing gas dreamy relaxed feeling.  It feels like I am at the end of a marathon and someone just clotheslined me.

I slowly woke.  In a dreamy state, I looked at a picture of a taco in a magazine my the bedside and whispered, “that looks good.”  I barely remember this, but Ari says at that point he ordered me a CT scan.   Yeah, I was confused.  A taco looks good and I need a CT??! Explanation coming…

I was wheeled to another room.  I don’t remember much of this part.  Ari stood at the helm in front of a half-dozen monitors (I only know this because the story was recounted to me by Kyle who was in NC to shoot a wedding and had taken a taxi to the hospital).  I had downed a jug of yummy contrast and before I knew it they were injecting dye into my arm and sending me through the beast of a machine.

They wheeled me back.  An hour passed.  More pain meds.  Then…  silence.

While I waited on the results, sweaty from fever, cold the next second from chills, the movie in my mind of the last two weeks played.

Ari had been on night call.  This means he worked from the time I left the office (7pm) and got home from work when I started work (8am).  We would see each other for 20 minutes at the most, like two ships passing in the night.  Previously, this has been the worst time for us.  When I did see him, he was irritable from sleep-deprivation.  I wasn’t much help either.  I’d avoid him during call weeks as to not stir the pot.  I would try to plan travel around his call schedule.

These two weeks were also production weeks for my last two weddings that I’ve had on the books for eons… read #7 on this post.  The weddings were back to back, both huge, both full production.  Needless to say, I was a little busy.

But, despite all of this on my plate, I vowed that this time – this wedding season and this call time – would be completely different.  I deep cleaned the house, did the laundry, bought gifts, deep cleaned again, had the carpets shampooed, planted new flowers, obsessively organized, cleaned his closet, his car, stocked the fridge, wrote love notes, love emails, love texts, ran a bazillion errands, paid bills, and did whatever I could think of to make his life smooth while he was a night owl.  110% worth all the effort.  One morning, I woke up to this card:

Lara, I wanted to say thank you for going out of your way to be so sweet this past week while I have been working nights.  I realize I haven’t been as grateful as I should, but I really do appreciate everything you do.  I’m also really happy to see you not so stressed during this tough week before your weddings.  I think it is a measure of your growth as a business owner.  I love you a lot and am excited to spend more time with you.  Ari

It’s that last part, about my growth as a business owner, that got me.  One reason I love him so much is that when he says something, he means it.  He never tells me something just to make me feel good.  Yes, this can cause trouble for someone like me who craves encouraging reassurance, but it has ultimately helped me to be stronger and more independent.  Last summer was the most stressful time of my life thus far.  The magazine had launched that January, I already had a ton of weddings on the books that I would never think of giving up, loads of travel, speaking engagements, photo shoots, and no concept of how to balance it all or give any of it up. This year was different. I was… gasp… relaxed!

So, just 10 hours before my hospital visit, wedding #1 went off without a hitch.  It was perfect thanks to intense pre-planning and my amazing (understatement) team.  Exhausted, I still pried myself out of bed in the morning for church.  I needed some Jesus in my life.  I needed to sing my heart out.

That morning we did something unorthodox and watched a video called “Rain”.  The message:  Things don’t always work out the way we want them to, or the way we think they will.  Sometimes we don’t even see it coming.  We get hit with some form of pain out of nowhere leaving us feeling desperate and helpless.  That’s the way life is.  Still, it makes us wonder how God can let these things happen to us.  How God can just stand by and watch us suffer.  Where is God when it really hurts?  Maybe God is actually closer to us than we think.  Maybe it’s when we’re in these situations, where everything seems to be falling apart, that God gets an opportunity to remind us of how much He really loves us.

I could blame the following on the morphine, but I think it was much more powerful than that.  For some reason, I pictured grandpa Cecil in a cotton field in Alabama, where he grew up.  He would go farm to farm selling milk, flour, and handing out Bibles.  Sometimes that meant trekking miles and miles between houses.  To pass the time on the long journey, he would sing hymns.  His singing lead him to become the song leader at church and later an elder and preacher.  I found myself humming one of his favorites “Swing Low Sweet Chariot” when the nurses, Ari and Kyle left my bedside for a moment.  As the melody washed over me, I started to feel peace… the peace that passes all understanding.  I knew I was going to be OK.

Ari came in with a solemn look on his face.  “The good news is…”  Am I the only person whose stomach sinks when that phrase is uttered?  It just means there is not-so-good-news.  “The good news is that you don’t have to have surgery.”   What!?  I was relieved but at the same time angry.  I couldn’t imagine a pill or an apple a day would kill this pain.  I couldn’t walk or sit up.  I needed to get better pronto.  Not that I wanted to have surgery… please refer to previous mention of passing out.  After 3 doctors and the ER chief told me that I most likely had appendicitis, I was just very confused.  “You have a mass… a benign tumor about the size of a golf ball.  It has outgrown its blood supply and is dying.  As it dies, it is releasing toxins into your body that are causing you extreme pain.”  I cried.  “You will most likely have this recur for the rest of your life.”  I cried again.  “When you said the taco looked good, I knew you had an appetite which means no appendicitis.  You never eat tacos.”  I smiled, trying not to laugh and induce more pain.  Ari was so kind as he gently explained everything to me.  I couldn’t even begin to express how proud I was of him in that moment for doing what he does best –as seemingly simple as it was– to help me.  I could barely speak, but I didn’t have to say anything.  I know he saw the gratitude in my eyes and felt it in the grip of my hand.  He pulled out a piece of paper and tried to draw a diagram of what was happening.  I felt a new kind of love for him in that moment.  We’ve been married for 4 1/2 years now and I’ve never had the chance to see him work.  (Sorry, baby…  I wasn’t listening to you as you were explaining and drawing.  I was thinking all of these nice things about you instead.  I’m pulling the morphine card again here.)  Visiting him in the ER was an unexpected blessing and a turning point in my respect for him. I am in awe of what he has on his plate every day… far more serious cases than mine.  He deals with cancer all day long.  He has to tell people they may not make it.  He has to diagnose the worst kind of incurable pain.  Then, he comes home to me and I wax poetic about brides, emails and politics.  He never says to me, “Babe, I deal with cancer all day.  You’re problems are not that big of a deal.”  He should.  I love you, Ari.  Thank you for being you and for your unending kindness and heart of gold. 

I was taken home with enough pain meds to put a cattle farm out, put in bed, and watched.  They don’t tell you how long it will take for it to go away.  They just say “self-medicate until it feels better.”  Fun, right? I like concrete solutions. This did not seem like one. Come to find out, my mother and grandmother have experienced the same thing.  I am not one for pain pills, so I took one and tossed the rest.  I would rather be in pain than not be able to make decisions.  That’s just me. Luckily, after about 4 days, the pain started to subside.

I was so fearful that I wouldn’t be able to do wedding #2 that week, but –again– thanks to my brilliant team, it was beautiful.  We all joked about me coordinating the ceremony from a gurney.  Not funny.  If you are in weddings, you know what the wedding hangover is like… swollen feet and 5 showers wouldn’t make you feel so fresh and so clean.  And then there was Cayman the day after this wedding. I can handle a lot, but I couldn’t imagine –after being in a hospital bed just days before– doing a huge wedding then getting on a plane to an island where I’d be surrounded by the who’s who in weddings.  Hello! Slow. Down. Life! Engage is the kind of event that I felt I had to be at the top of my game for.  I felt the pressure caving in on me.  I didn’t want people to feel sorry for me or see that I wasn’t at my best.  I didn’t want to seem unsocial or distracted.  I just didn’t want to talk about it.  But, as I reflected on my past Engage experiences, I was overwhelmed by the thought that it is an incredible privilege to go and even if I got sick or was in pain, I wasn’t going to die. I’d kick myself if I didn’t push through.  I did not have to be perfect. I got encouraging messages from my soon-to-be room mates, Jasmine Star and Harmony Walton, who I was really looking forward to spending quality time with.  So, I started to go through the “packing motions” as best I could.  I know them well.  Suitcase out, pack the travel size toiletries, undies, socks, bras, clothes, Luna Bars and Greens Plus Bars, Jay Robb, green tea, make the bed, get the computer, charge my extra iPhone battery, take out the trash, rinse and repeat.  Even 3 hours before my flight I still hadn’t checked in.  Fear of not being my best was holding me back.

Then, a note from Ari that morning : I hope paradise is wonderful and don’t forget to look around and be grateful for the opportunity to be in such a place.  And remember to cut yourself some slack. You are only a person who can do so much and be so many things to so many different people. Just be who you can be and if it is not enough for some, then they are asking too much. I love you.

I pulled the trigger and checked in for my flight.  Now do you see why I married him?  Thank you, Ari (and so many great friends), for encouraging me to go and just be me.

My Engage!10 Grand Cayman MegaPost is up next… so excited to share what turned out to be the best week ever.  Thanks for listening, friends.

xo

lc

images :: smilebooth …taken about 12 hours before my ER visit. It was such a fun night!

P.S. Congrats to the randomly chosen winner of the FujiFilm Instax Mini, Joe Anna Haydon! Email me your address and I’ll send your new camera right over.

P.S.S. Happy 38th anniversary to my parents! I love you both more than words. Thank you for inspiring us to love deeply every day and enjoy the best parts of life- family, friends, great food and beautiful sunsets.

P.S.S.S. I’m getting on a plane in a few hours. Excited about a little surprise weekend fun. More to come…

And yes, if you’ve been reading this blog long enough, you know I have to give something away. Just have to. Why not?!
Leave a comment on this post telling me about the person in your life who has encouraged you the most and win a copy of one of my favorite books.