Sitting in a hospital bed two weeks ago, I was convinced I wasn’t going to Engage.  I shifted my weight a little in church, feeling a small pain in my stomach. I thought to myself, Maybe it’s the Indian food from last night. Maybe it’s the bread and grape juice from communion. It’ll go away.

It didn’t.

I texted Ari hesitantly:  I think… I need to go to the ER.  Something is wrong with me. Now, I am extremely stubborn about my health.  I have a high pain tolerance and haven’t been to an emergency room in 5 years.  I’d rather suffer than take pain killers and or go anywhere near a hospital.

I got home, barely able to walk at that point, and fell down on the couch shivering.  I couldn’t help but think of Jeff’s appendicitis story that he told at the beginning of each MTH2010.  The chills kept growing, fever came on like wildfire and within 7 minutes we were on the way to Ari’s second home.

When your husband does nothing but read CT’s, MRI’s and deal with trauma all day long and he looks worried, it’s easy for a girl to panic.  I cried.  It hurt to cry.  I stopped crying.  Not only did I have a huge event that weekend, but I had to go to Cayman in 7 days.  Miss Engage?  No way. Yes, my mind when straight to work.  Ari told me to be calm and not focus on work for a second.  He called all the docs and I stumbled into a hospital bed and a gown.  I also started to slip into more serious pain.  I told Ari to call Katharine and Emily and prepare them to take over for one of our busiest weeks to date.

I’m not sure if it was Ari’s sage advice or the morphine they injected in me, but I stopped thinking about work for a moment.  I just prayed.  I prayed for the lady in the bed next to me, too.  I couldn’t see her, but she sounded like she was in her 90’s, in a lot of pain, and very alone.   I wanted to ask the nurse to push my bed up next to hers so I could hold her hand and pray with her, but a flood of surgeons quickly squelched my spirit.  Surgery?  Surgery!? As I was poked and prodded –while dazed from pain killers that were having very adverse affects on my sensitive body– another nurse started an IV.  It all happened so fast.  The combination of stress, needles, and the word surgery quickly took the blood from my head and I was out cold.  For someone who relishes control, passing out is by far the worst feeling on earth.  It’s not a laughing gas dreamy relaxed feeling.  It feels like I am at the end of a marathon and someone just clotheslined me.

I slowly woke.  In a dreamy state, I looked at a picture of a taco in a magazine my the bedside and whispered, “that looks good.”  I barely remember this, but Ari says at that point he ordered me a CT scan.   Yeah, I was confused.  A taco looks good and I need a CT??! Explanation coming…

I was wheeled to another room.  I don’t remember much of this part.  Ari stood at the helm in front of a half-dozen monitors (I only know this because the story was recounted to me by Kyle who was in NC to shoot a wedding and had taken a taxi to the hospital).  I had downed a jug of yummy contrast and before I knew it they were injecting dye into my arm and sending me through the beast of a machine.

They wheeled me back.  An hour passed.  More pain meds.  Then…  silence.

While I waited on the results, sweaty from fever, cold the next second from chills, the movie in my mind of the last two weeks played.

Ari had been on night call.  This means he worked from the time I left the office (7pm) and got home from work when I started work (8am).  We would see each other for 20 minutes at the most, like two ships passing in the night.  Previously, this has been the worst time for us.  When I did see him, he was irritable from sleep-deprivation.  I wasn’t much help either.  I’d avoid him during call weeks as to not stir the pot.  I would try to plan travel around his call schedule.

These two weeks were also production weeks for my last two weddings that I’ve had on the books for eons… read #7 on this post.  The weddings were back to back, both huge, both full production.  Needless to say, I was a little busy.

But, despite all of this on my plate, I vowed that this time – this wedding season and this call time – would be completely different.  I deep cleaned the house, did the laundry, bought gifts, deep cleaned again, had the carpets shampooed, planted new flowers, obsessively organized, cleaned his closet, his car, stocked the fridge, wrote love notes, love emails, love texts, ran a bazillion errands, paid bills, and did whatever I could think of to make his life smooth while he was a night owl.  110% worth all the effort.  One morning, I woke up to this card:

Lara, I wanted to say thank you for going out of your way to be so sweet this past week while I have been working nights.  I realize I haven’t been as grateful as I should, but I really do appreciate everything you do.  I’m also really happy to see you not so stressed during this tough week before your weddings.  I think it is a measure of your growth as a business owner.  I love you a lot and am excited to spend more time with you.  Ari

It’s that last part, about my growth as a business owner, that got me.  One reason I love him so much is that when he says something, he means it.  He never tells me something just to make me feel good.  Yes, this can cause trouble for someone like me who craves encouraging reassurance, but it has ultimately helped me to be stronger and more independent.  Last summer was the most stressful time of my life thus far.  The magazine had launched that January, I already had a ton of weddings on the books that I would never think of giving up, loads of travel, speaking engagements, photo shoots, and no concept of how to balance it all or give any of it up. This year was different. I was… gasp… relaxed!

So, just 10 hours before my hospital visit, wedding #1 went off without a hitch.  It was perfect thanks to intense pre-planning and my amazing (understatement) team.  Exhausted, I still pried myself out of bed in the morning for church.  I needed some Jesus in my life.  I needed to sing my heart out.

That morning we did something unorthodox and watched a video called “Rain”.  The message:  Things don’t always work out the way we want them to, or the way we think they will.  Sometimes we don’t even see it coming.  We get hit with some form of pain out of nowhere leaving us feeling desperate and helpless.  That’s the way life is.  Still, it makes us wonder how God can let these things happen to us.  How God can just stand by and watch us suffer.  Where is God when it really hurts?  Maybe God is actually closer to us than we think.  Maybe it’s when we’re in these situations, where everything seems to be falling apart, that God gets an opportunity to remind us of how much He really loves us.

I could blame the following on the morphine, but I think it was much more powerful than that.  For some reason, I pictured grandpa Cecil in a cotton field in Alabama, where he grew up.  He would go farm to farm selling milk, flour, and handing out Bibles.  Sometimes that meant trekking miles and miles between houses.  To pass the time on the long journey, he would sing hymns.  His singing lead him to become the song leader at church and later an elder and preacher.  I found myself humming one of his favorites “Swing Low Sweet Chariot” when the nurses, Ari and Kyle left my bedside for a moment.  As the melody washed over me, I started to feel peace… the peace that passes all understanding.  I knew I was going to be OK.

Ari came in with a solemn look on his face.  “The good news is…”  Am I the only person whose stomach sinks when that phrase is uttered?  It just means there is not-so-good-news.  “The good news is that you don’t have to have surgery.”   What!?  I was relieved but at the same time angry.  I couldn’t imagine a pill or an apple a day would kill this pain.  I couldn’t walk or sit up.  I needed to get better pronto.  Not that I wanted to have surgery… please refer to previous mention of passing out.  After 3 doctors and the ER chief told me that I most likely had appendicitis, I was just very confused.  “You have a mass… a benign tumor about the size of a golf ball.  It has outgrown its blood supply and is dying.  As it dies, it is releasing toxins into your body that are causing you extreme pain.”  I cried.  “You will most likely have this recur for the rest of your life.”  I cried again.  “When you said the taco looked good, I knew you had an appetite which means no appendicitis.  You never eat tacos.”  I smiled, trying not to laugh and induce more pain.  Ari was so kind as he gently explained everything to me.  I couldn’t even begin to express how proud I was of him in that moment for doing what he does best –as seemingly simple as it was– to help me.  I could barely speak, but I didn’t have to say anything.  I know he saw the gratitude in my eyes and felt it in the grip of my hand.  He pulled out a piece of paper and tried to draw a diagram of what was happening.  I felt a new kind of love for him in that moment.  We’ve been married for 4 1/2 years now and I’ve never had the chance to see him work.  (Sorry, baby…  I wasn’t listening to you as you were explaining and drawing.  I was thinking all of these nice things about you instead.  I’m pulling the morphine card again here.)  Visiting him in the ER was an unexpected blessing and a turning point in my respect for him. I am in awe of what he has on his plate every day… far more serious cases than mine.  He deals with cancer all day long.  He has to tell people they may not make it.  He has to diagnose the worst kind of incurable pain.  Then, he comes home to me and I wax poetic about brides, emails and politics.  He never says to me, “Babe, I deal with cancer all day.  You’re problems are not that big of a deal.”  He should.  I love you, Ari.  Thank you for being you and for your unending kindness and heart of gold. 

I was taken home with enough pain meds to put a cattle farm out, put in bed, and watched.  They don’t tell you how long it will take for it to go away.  They just say “self-medicate until it feels better.”  Fun, right? I like concrete solutions. This did not seem like one. Come to find out, my mother and grandmother have experienced the same thing.  I am not one for pain pills, so I took one and tossed the rest.  I would rather be in pain than not be able to make decisions.  That’s just me. Luckily, after about 4 days, the pain started to subside.

I was so fearful that I wouldn’t be able to do wedding #2 that week, but –again– thanks to my brilliant team, it was beautiful.  We all joked about me coordinating the ceremony from a gurney.  Not funny.  If you are in weddings, you know what the wedding hangover is like… swollen feet and 5 showers wouldn’t make you feel so fresh and so clean.  And then there was Cayman the day after this wedding. I can handle a lot, but I couldn’t imagine –after being in a hospital bed just days before– doing a huge wedding then getting on a plane to an island where I’d be surrounded by the who’s who in weddings.  Hello! Slow. Down. Life! Engage is the kind of event that I felt I had to be at the top of my game for.  I felt the pressure caving in on me.  I didn’t want people to feel sorry for me or see that I wasn’t at my best.  I didn’t want to seem unsocial or distracted.  I just didn’t want to talk about it.  But, as I reflected on my past Engage experiences, I was overwhelmed by the thought that it is an incredible privilege to go and even if I got sick or was in pain, I wasn’t going to die. I’d kick myself if I didn’t push through.  I did not have to be perfect. I got encouraging messages from my soon-to-be room mates, Jasmine Star and Harmony Walton, who I was really looking forward to spending quality time with.  So, I started to go through the “packing motions” as best I could.  I know them well.  Suitcase out, pack the travel size toiletries, undies, socks, bras, clothes, Luna Bars and Greens Plus Bars, Jay Robb, green tea, make the bed, get the computer, charge my extra iPhone battery, take out the trash, rinse and repeat.  Even 3 hours before my flight I still hadn’t checked in.  Fear of not being my best was holding me back.

Then, a note from Ari that morning : I hope paradise is wonderful and don’t forget to look around and be grateful for the opportunity to be in such a place.  And remember to cut yourself some slack. You are only a person who can do so much and be so many things to so many different people. Just be who you can be and if it is not enough for some, then they are asking too much. I love you.

I pulled the trigger and checked in for my flight.  Now do you see why I married him?  Thank you, Ari (and so many great friends), for encouraging me to go and just be me.

My Engage!10 Grand Cayman MegaPost is up next… so excited to share what turned out to be the best week ever.  Thanks for listening, friends.

xo

lc

images :: smilebooth …taken about 12 hours before my ER visit. It was such a fun night!

P.S. Congrats to the randomly chosen winner of the FujiFilm Instax Mini, Joe Anna Haydon! Email me your address and I’ll send your new camera right over.

P.S.S. Happy 38th anniversary to my parents! I love you both more than words. Thank you for inspiring us to love deeply every day and enjoy the best parts of life- family, friends, great food and beautiful sunsets.

P.S.S.S. I’m getting on a plane in a few hours. Excited about a little surprise weekend fun. More to come…

And yes, if you’ve been reading this blog long enough, you know I have to give something away. Just have to. Why not?!
Leave a comment on this post telling me about the person in your life who has encouraged you the most and win a copy of one of my favorite books.

I’m writing this on a plane. What’s new?  And yes, I did say I was leaving the laptop at home.  You caught me.  I won’t use it much, though.  I promise.  I’ll be too distracted by the beach and a very special traveler who, due to his rad schedule, never gets to go anywhere with me: my husband.  This is the first trip we’ve taken together since we went to Vegas last year before WPPI.  The last trip before that?  Hawaii four years ago.  So, it’s about time!  We’re headed to Kona for 6 days for his best friend’s wedding.  His BFF, Mike, was actually my… um… maid/man of honor?  Yes, at our Vegas wedding he was my MOH.  So excited to see all of our friends from LA and actually go to a gorgeous wedding.  Then, I’ll head to Oahu for a few individual MTH/branding intensives and several site tours for a destination weddings feature and a little something I’m cooking up for the blog.  I have one slot left for an individual intensive while I’m in Hawaii, so speak now or forever… wish you had?  OK, forgive my lack o’ witty wedding-reference humor.  4 hours of sleep and 14+ hours on planes today…

I am a firm believer in giving knowledge away freely.  I did two Twitter series’ entitled Get Branded and Get Published.  I plan on doing many more and working hard to use this blog to educate in as many ways as I can.  In my opinion, we’re supposed to build one another up in love and to encourage each other to grow, using all of our talents to do so.  It’s part of my personal mission.  I’ve said it before: I don’t believe in competition.  If we’re all helping each other to be our best selves, we raise the collective level of success in our industry. Yes, there are lots of things I won’t give up unless you pay me for a formal consult and lots of things I can’t give away because of the obvious: consulting is personal, tailored and specific to that brand’s needs.  Speaking of which, I have 4 consulting slots left for the next 6 weeks.  (My calendar would make your head explode.)  If you want one of the four, email me now.  Anyway, I re-posted both the Get Branded and Get Published series’ here on the blog.  Read them.  Tweet me more questions.  I’m happy to answer. pic below :: poser.

I just got back from speaking at Eventology on “Building Your Team,” and it was the most challenging speaking topic I’ve tackled thus far.  Yes, I have a great team. It may seem easy to run a team of people who are already great, but the biggest mistake you can make when leading is to think it’s just common sense and that you can “wing” team leadership. Leading is work. The hardest work I’ve ever done. Yes, harder than putting together a magazine and any combination of items on my plate. Why? It challenges you to be your best self, every day, no matter what.  Let me be very clear: it’s not about trying to be perfect so there is an appearance of strength; it’s about genuinely working to change so that you truly lead and grow by example… failures and all.  There’s no more powerful way to lead than that. If I slack, complain, forget, or, yes, fail, it affects us all.  Granted, there’s a great deal to be learned by a leader failing gracefully as opposed to someone who’s perfect all the time. pic below :: jen lynne.

My best takeaway from years of learning everything the hard way and finally coming out on top? Lead by example. Lead well. Fail well. Thank you so much to Katasha, the whole Eventology crew, my fellow speakers Sasha Souza, Terrica Skaggs, Saundra Hadley, Harmony Walton, and all of the amazing professionals we met.  Behind the scenes tidbit: my Eventology presentation was the very first PowerPoint I ever made.  Yes, I’ve laid out three magazines and never made a PowerPoint.  They didn’t exactly teach us that at Carnegie Mellon.  #educationfail  I spent a good 30 hours on it.  Note to self: next time just make a PowerPoint, not a mini magazine.

I also had the pleasure of speaking at the Indy ISES meeting on branding while I was there.  Such a great group!  There were some minor internet issues, so I used my new-found PowerPoint skills and created a 48 page presentation in 9 minutes.  No joke. Thanks to Melissa from Royal Events for hosting us and to all the attendees for a great afternoon.  It was a fun few days in Indy!

I’m honored to be speaking at Engage 10 :: Breakers this year.  I’ll be attending on the media panel for Engage Cayman, too, so come say hello! I’ve been to three Engage conferences so far and I don’t plan on missing a single one in the future.

Past recaps: Engage08 :: Celebration, Engage09 :: Cayman MegaPost!, Engage09 :: Encore Las Vegas.  Rebecca and Kathryn always raise the bar with these luxury wedding business summits and this year is just beyond incredible.

Cayman’s lineup:



In October at the Breaker’s I’ll be joined by:



Hello!  Someone pinch me!!!! If you have any questions about my past experiences at Engage, please email me.  I’d be happy to share and answer any questions.

We’re hard at work on the next issue. I finally opened the massive (and I mean massive) folder of cover submissions in my inbox.   Oh my goodness, we received some very creative creatives.  Thank you, thank you!

Lots of people have asked for critiques, so I will be writing a post on how to put together creatives and how to best market yourself to editors. I’ll be choosing the top cover submissions this week and will announce them when I get back.  That is why I brought my computer.  Time to get these killer cover shoots rolling!  P.S. We have a brand new media kit.  Want a copy?  Email Katharine. She won’t bite.  Unless, of course, you withhold her daily dose of Smarties.

I got a very encouraging letter in the mail yesterday from our magazine distributor. Our sales are 40% above the national average. In today’s magazine economy, you may not think that that is saying much, but it’s a pretty significant statistic. I also got word today that Barnes and Noble wants to push more copies through of our current issue to Southeastern stores.  OK, first of all, that does not happen.  Our issue dropped in November.  Needless to say, we’re thrilled.  I have 3 tons of magazines in my garage.  I’m so glad they’re about to get new homes!  We’ve been featuring a lot of behind-the-scenes images on the blog lately, so be sure to check these never-before-seen images out and get yourself a copy.

Some favorites: Watercolor with Fred Egan (as shown above), Watercolor with Jory Cordy, Watercolor with Kyle Barnes, Watercolor with Jeff Holt, our Serenbe Cover Shoot with Jeremy Cowart.  Sidenote:  I readily admit that I have asked a lot of dumb questions since I started publishing Southern Weddings.  Adriel, my distribution agent, has been so patient and kind explaining things in layman’s terms and walking me through the perils of publishing.  I’ve had to make a lot of hard choices, holding firm to our core values in content: real, personal, relatable. More often than I’d like, that means making choices that err on the side of long-term vision and brand integrity vs. short-term cash.  We turn down advertisers who just don’t fit us, weddings that are too luxurious for our brides to relate to and sponsors that want to run the show.  I’m not complaining.  From someone who has no formal background in publishing or marketing (or business, for that matter!), I’m very happy with where this path has taken us.

Little-known fact: I plan and design weddings.  I know I know… you’re thinking, how in the world do you have time?  How do you do it? Please refer to said amazing team in point number 3.  I have, however, progressively limited the amount I take as my schedule intensifies each year.  This year I took 3 weddings and I have two left: both gorgeous; both incredible brides (hi Sara and Nameeta!).

Why do it still?  I love it.  It’s in my blood and it’s how I got started in this industry almost seven years ago.  Here’s a recent favorite that we did last May with Our Labor of Love.  Weddings are the ultimate creative challenge.

I went to school for music, theatre, dance and design.  Production is what I know and what fuels me. pics above :: my iphone.

Weddings are essentially a production – lighting, sound, a script, design, music, and surprises all wrapped into one big beautiful day.   It also serves to keep me grounded and aware of the challenges that planners and photographers face.  I’m not an editor who went to school for journalism and just happens to like weddings because they’re pretty.  I’m in the trenches too.  “The trenches” are hard work, but fun.  Sometimes I kick myself and wonder why I take on so much.  Then, I send a bride down the aisle and see the look on her face when she walks into her reception.  I’m grateful for the opportunity to create and I love the brides I get the honor of working with.  They’ve all become dear life-long friends.  Pic above :: Kyle Barnes

OK, fast forward to sitting in our room at the gorgeous Mauna Lani, looking out at the volcano in the distance.  Minus the 6 hour time difference that had me up at 4am, it’s so good to be here with Ari.

Check out these welcome bags that greeted us!  So, this update is rather random because I have a backlog of info to share.  I want to start blogging at least 3x a week, shorter posts, more on the fly.  Emily always gets on me about my epic posts.  But, I censor myself, I craft, I perfect, and I tend to get really nervous before putting a post out.  I have several people read it.  I nitpick.  I’m afraid that if I write like I think, it will come out too vulnerable, emotional, real.  That’s me.  So, what do y’all want me to write about?  I want to hear from you.  Leave me a comment with any thoughts on what you want more of on the blog.

Life in general has been a turn from burnout to a serious search for clarity and balance to finding quite a bit of it lately.  I got to go home a couple weeks ago and discovered some pictures that made me think about child-like unabashed joy. I want that in my life. I love this picture of a childhood friend and I having a picnic. I’m not sure who made who laugh first, but this makes my heart smile. I posted a bunch more on facebook.

In all the craziness of my life – the schedule, the travel, the team to manage, the busy businesses, and the constant surprises, I need God.  I am fallible, I make selfish mistakes, and I have so much to learn and mature into.  I talk about my relationship with God here on the blog because my whole point in starting this thing was to take you on this authentic journey with me.  It’s a journey to find joy and discover my best self.  My goal has been to be as honest as possible about how I really make things happen.  As a rather emotional, sensitive INFP, my relationship with God is what keeps me together.  It’s a daily challenge and a practice.  I have recently made the choice to not work on Sundays… at all.  It has taken me far too long to get to this point.  I love my work.  I get really easily bored when I’m not working.  Hello, I mean I’m writing this in Hawaii when I could be on the beach, but doing this right now satisfies me more.  I’ve come to look forward to Sunday all week long.  I get up early, workout, go to church and sing my heart out, then come home to do Bible study for a few hours.  It’s been life-changing to make that time.  I’ve also been reading The 4 Hour Workweek in my travels and it is seriously blowing my mind.  Tim Ferriss is my soul mate.  I’m taking my time to read it and digest, but I’ve already applied so much of the book successfully to my life and our work days.  Key points: work smarter, less hours, more efficiently.  I will be writing an extended post on balance soon with a full post on how I’ve tackled what my studies are teaching me.

Since I couldn’t fit all of you in my suitcase, I want to bring a little Aloha spirit to you!

Leave a comment telling me about your dream vacation and enter to win either a strand of Hawaiian freshwater pearls, Kona coffee, or a collection of macadamia nut and coconut goodies.

Three winners, your choice on the prize!  You have till the day I leave here (next Thursday, the 6th of May) to enter.

Mahalo, y’all!

xo

lc

Working at Southern Weddings/Bliss Event Group/Lara Casey Reps is my first job.  Ever.  I graduated in May of 2009.  Let’s all take a minute to think about that.  Okay, moment over.  Crazy, isn’t it?  I alternate between pinching myself and forgetting to pinch myself, because, in fact, my daily life seems pretty normal.

I am a wedding junkie.  I was involved in the wedding blog world long before I was in the job market.  On the one hand, it seems completely normal that I would land a job in this industry I’ve immersed myself in for so long.  But – and here’s the clincher – it could just as easily not have happened.  I could still be looking for a job six months after graduation.  Most of my classmates are, after all.

We’ve been reading Crush It! in our morning huddle the past couple weeks.  I don’t agree with everything Gary says, but his general ethos of building a personal brand does resonate with me.  Why?  It’s the reason I got my job.

So here’s the story.

The summer after my junior year of college, I had an internship at The Knot, which was a great experience.  My last week in New York, my editor took me out for lunch, and we got to talking about what we would do if we could do anything we wanted.  Eventually, I answered that I would want to have Abby of Style Me Pretty’s job.  Not only does she write a lovely little wedding blog, she founded and then sold a line of custom stationery.  It was the combo that got me.  Christa’s next question was “Well, why don’t you start a wedding blog?”  The thought had occurred to me, but it was her support that gave me the push I needed.

So I did.  I launched my own wedding, style, and design blog in September 2008, at the beginning of my senior year.  I certainly had no delusions of grandeur, but I tried to post consistently innovative and inspiring content Monday through Friday.  Most of the time I felt as though I was writing for myself, but that was okay – if nothing else, it was a great platform for me to share the ideas that were constantly circling in my head.  It kept me busy.

But then. Then! In November of that same year, Lara Casey commented on one of my posts, a random post about how much I loved Carrot & Stick journals.  I was flabbergasted (and mostly confused as to how she had found my teensy little two-month-old blog!).  In gratitude, I sent her one of the journals and a handwritten note letting her know how much her comment meant to me.  I didn’t expect to hear anything from her, and didn’t for about two weeks.

Then one day I hopped on my Google Reader dum-di-dum let’s see what the ladies of Southern Weddings are up to — whahh?!  What did I spy but a post about ME and MY NOTE and MY BLOG and how much my note meant to LARA. That day was enough to sustain me through several more months of blogging obscurity.  And it was enough to get my foot in the SW door.

Lara loved the Carrot and Stick journals so much that she put them in the premiere issue of Southern Weddings right before they went to press. I was elated.

In February of 2009, I decided that I would apply to work with Southern Weddings.  Had they posted an open position?  No.  Had I graduated yet?  No.  But I did it anyway. And I didn’t just send in a resume.

I used the knowledge I had stored up as a long-time reader to make my application as appealing as possible.  I sent a fairly standard resume.  I sent a cover letter, but not a stiff and overly-formal one – I used the same conversational tone found on the SW blog, but built an effective case for my skills and attributes.  The form letter found in career advice books?  That wouldn’t have worked for this company or for this opportunity.  At all.

I also filled out the “get to know me” questionnaire that each of the current SW employees had filled out and posted to the site – I wanted to show Lara that in addition to having superior experience and skills, I was an interesting and exciting person.  This also gave me a chance to show her more of my writing ability.

And to top it off, I hand wrote an introductory note reminding her of our previous encounter.  And I sent this all through the mail, because I knew how easily an application could be lost in the sea of emails Lara received every day.

And you know what?  It worked.  It wasn’t quite as simple as I’m making it out to be, and there was a fair amount of luck involved.  But it worked.  I have a job.  I’m doing what I love straight out of college.  And I’m earning money doing it.  That is, unfortunately, a lot more than most of my fellow 2009 graduates can say.  And I believe the success of my plan rested largely on the success of my personal brand.

From Lara: I remember the day I got Emily’s note.  I remember thinking “this girl really knows who she is.”  For someone over six years younger than me, I was floored by her maturity and drive.  She wrote and acted from such an authentic, genuine place, that I was honestly a little intimidated.  At the time, business was crazy.  I had just launched the magazine, was about to dive into an intense wedding season and was traveling more than ever.  On the surface, everything was hunky dory, but underneath I was unhappy with work and felt drained every day.  My relationships suffered as a result.  It was a vicious cycle and I just had to push through it.  In the back of my mind, I knew that bringing someone like Emily on could change everything.  After her note and resume sat on my desk for four months and wedding season died down, I finally pulled the trigger and called her for an interview.  Around this same time, I got a glowing email from Katharine who had just graduated from Harvard.  Harvard!?  I was terrified.  Two brilliant-on-paper women who I knew had the potential to change my life.   I was so busy, that I wasn’t even able to meet them in person before hiring them.  I had long phone conversations with each of them and just had to trust my gut.  In July of this year, Katharine and Emily made Chapel Hill –and my office– their new home.  Not gonna lie, I’m tearing up typing this.  They have blessed my life far more than I ever could have expected and each day is better than the last.  Whitney, Kath and Em made me believe in myself again.

Lara was able to see me as a person – a multifaceted, talented potential employee, but also a person.  She saw me in many different mediums, over a period of a few months, not just in one cover letter on a sheet of copier paper.  And that, I believe, made all the difference.

From Lara: Knowing your personal brand and acting authentically on it creates real opportunity and genuine success. In today’s era of transparency, people want real connection and will see right through you if your heart isn’t in it.  There will always be someone doing it better than you.  But, no one can do better what only you can do.  So, what is that thing?  What is your unique brand?  Do you feel like you are just getting by in your work and in your relationships?  Stop now.  Just stop.

I made a seemingly simple, but bold, move and it paid off.  Many of my classmates are suffering because they are doing things someone else expected of them instead of living authentically and putting their heart into every move they make.  The more we exert, the more reward we are able to feel as its equal and opposite reaction.  Risk is just opportunity dressed up in scary clothes.

Lara tells the story of her move to California several years ago when she opened the back of Grace Ormonde and circled all the people she really wanted to work for.  She went straight for the top first, and ended up working for all of them just by taking that simple step – she studied them and knew what they wanted, emailed them, sent a glowing resume, then flew to meet them and show them what she was made of, despite shaking with fear. “Why waste my time on a stepping stone when I wanted to go so much farther than that?  I knew I wouldn’t be happy settling for anything less.”

In my job now, one of the things that energizes me most is interacting with other people in the industry.  I don’t discriminate.  I love talking with vendors – hearing their stories, how they got in the business, why they love their jobs, what they want to do next.  I love talking with brides – what they love about planning their weddings, what they hate about it, what they would do in a perfect world and how I could help make that happen. images above :: nancy ray

Every day I make a point to make at least one connection.  It doesn’t take much time out of my day.  It makes me feel good.  It’s good for business. It’s led to new vendor relationships, deeper vendor relationships, products being sent to us for photo shoots that we never thought we’d have the chance to feature, unexpected opportunities for collaboration, and true friendships.

But you know why I really do it?  I know how important that connection can be firsthand.  It can make someone’s day, it can fire someone up, it can change someone’s life.  I know it can.  It changed mine.

Who can you connect with right now? Leave a comment, send that email, make that call.  As Lara always says to us… “stop wasting time and just pull the trigger.”

P.S. Katharine and I are excited to be joining Lara on the Making Things Happen Intensive Tour in Dallas in a few short weeks. I look forward to meeting everyone there and hearing your stories.

There are two rules to this post:  1.  you need a pen and paper, and  2. put on some great music.  Rule number 1 is because this post is interactive.  Don’t read any further if you’re not up for the challenge.  Rule number 2 is because you only live once.  You might as well enjoy it!

In my inbox today: “How do you “make things happen?”. I love what I do and I’m really driven but also really shy and think that is kind of holding me back from really breaking into the industry and building great relationships.  Do you have any advice?”

I wrote this post like I talk to myself and, while I could have padded it more, lots of people have been coming to me recently in dire need of “straight talk”.  This post is dedicated to my dear friends and clients who have shared their lives and fears with me lately.  What is it about the fall?  It’s a season of change, reflection, and getting charged for the year ahead.  It’s a time for transformation.  If you really want to make things happen, you have to ask yourself some hard questions first.  While this isn’t the complete formula, here’s a kick-start:  it takes 1 part Nike (aka “Just Do It”), 1 part people, 2 parts discipline, 2 parts humility, and 5 parts crazy.  Read on, friends.

Fear. Every “big” thing I’ve ever accomplished in my life I was terrified of at one point.  Fear is the biggest thing preventing you from really making things happen.  Right now, you already know the answers.  You know not-so-deep down what you have to do.  You just have a million excuses and fears as to why you can’t get there.  My job as a consultant is to hear the fear. I was a personal trainer in Manhattan for several years, during which time I learned more about self-imposed limitations than I care to share.  I have heard every excuse for living an unhappy life and the truth of the matter is (and no one likes to hear this)… it’s all in your head.  Face real facts, not the constant mental chatter that holds you back from living the life of success you deserve.  When you simply identify your fear, worlds of possibility open up.

Write down what you are really afraid of and get as specific as possible… “I’m afraid of ___ because ___.”   Sounds easy, but did you actually do it just now?  I have a favorite phrase:  feel the fear and do it anyway.  That does not mean blindly dive in.  Fear does exist for a reason.  It makes us question ourselves, weigh the pros and cons, and get connected with our gut instincts.  Listen to that; there’s the feel the fear part.  Then, accept it as fear, not fact.  Act on it strategically, purposefully, and with support.  Which brings me to my next point…

People. You are a product of your environment and the people you surround yourself with.  This was a big point of discussion in Outliers.  Our level of success is directly related to the people we interact with on a daily basis.  “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” –Jim Rohn I’m sure, as you are reading this, you may be thinking of that one person who sucks your energy dry.  How is that affecting you?  Why are they in your life?  Yes, there are some people we can’t wish away in our lives, but we can surround ourselves with others to balance that out.  Surround yourself with people who inspire you, and work hard to inspire them, too.  Creating an environment where you can learn and, at the same time, infuse others is the most fulfilling way to grow.

Who are the people you spend your days with and how do they make you feel?  Write them down right now. Do not read the rest of this post, do not pass go, and do NOT collect your $200 until you make your “inner circle” list.  This may just be your most important step to achieving a “making things happen” breakthrough.  This is a step I have been bad at taking in the past.  I let those energy leeches stay in my environment for way. too. long.  I’m not good at cutting ties with people because I always feel like I can just “make it work”.  No, I can’t, and you can’t either.  You cannot change people.  All you have the power to do is invite people into your inner circle (I use the word “invite” purposefully here because you need to put a lot of thought into crafting this life guest list) who uplift you, share your life’s visions, ideals, and whom you can really trust.  Kick the life-suckers to the curb and get on the train with people who dream like and with you.  Jeff Holt and I have had this conversation a hundred times over and every time we talk about surrounding ourselves with people we believe in and who believe in us, magic happens.

This is why I have made a great effort to go to conferences and events where I know I will be surrounded by people who I can learn from.  The first Engage I attended completely blew my mind. (You can read my last two recaps here and here.)  Meeting people like Rebecca Grinnals and Sean Low made me want to raise the bar.  I credit them with helping me dream bigger, opening up worlds of opportunity for me, and unknowingly encouraging me with every step.  If you can’t invest in going to conferences, get out and meet people where you are.  Get on the phone, iChat, whatever it takes to connect with people who dream like you do.

I am a firm believer in the power of counsel.  “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that hearkeneth unto counsel is wise.”  Proverbs 12:15 Who do you bounce ideas off of?  Who gives you sound advice? My sounding board is about 10 people deep, starting with my husband.  We are the yin to each other’s yang.  I am innately the active big picture thinker and he’s the logical realist.  I have a team of dear friends and paid experts that I trust to tell me when I’m out of line so I can get back on track to making the right things happen.  In 2010, I plan on adding a few more people to my team to help take us to the next level.  You are not an island.  Get help…  especially if you think you are one of those people who just doesn’t need it.

Discipline. Making things happen isn’t about setting goals, having a strong cup of coffee and diving in. Back up 20 steps.  It’s about giving yourself the ability to make clear, intuitive choices by having your life together.  I make my best, most successful decisions when I feel a sense of health, wholeness and clarity.   A verse I always think of when I get overwhelmed: “Therefore be clear minded and self-controlled so that you can pray.” 1 Peter 4:1-7. Same goes for all of life – be clear minded and disciplined so that you can make the right things happen.  For me, this involves several factors: sleeping enough, eating well, laughing often and working out every day even when I’m tired.  If I don’t practice extreme self-care, I am no good for the people around me.  I say “extreme” because you have to be a parent to yourself and stay disciplined. “For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self-discipline.” — 2 Timothy 1:7 What are the 5 essential things that make you feel whole and like you have your life together?  Write them down.

Some notes on discipline, drive, and staying up until 6am:  For one, the latter should not be in your vocabulary.  There are things I twitter and share here because I want you to know what really goes into this.  I wouldn’t have to stay up until 6am editing a magazine for a week if I had planned better, had a staff of designers working for me, hadn’t overloaded my schedule with projects I’m passionate about and clients I want to see soar, and (insert million reasons here).  I am not the best example when it comes to work balance.  I’m working actively on this.  I have lots of people helping me work on it.  I am generally a very happy healthy person, but when it comes to getting what I really want, I tend to go to extremes.  Please refer to the very first post I wrote on this blog.

So, do you have to be innately driven or can you harness that type-A mentality and still make things happen? First of all, define where you fall on the Type-A vs. Type BCDXYZ spectrum.  I fall into the former category, unfortunately.  Minus that time I got a C in handwriting in 2nd grade, I was always driven.  I get it from both of my parents.  I grew up with my mom being superwoman in the kitchen and my dad superman in the operating room.  They work hard and make it seem effortless.  My dad, the man who starts his day by biking 30 miles before sunrise, is 76 and has no plans to retire.  A lot to live up to.  I went to my first Yale class for summer school when I was 17.  I double-majored in college with 56 credit hours a semester.  Insanity.  I was at school from 8am to 11pm most weekdays and rehearsals on weekends.  Every day of college, I’d say to myself “nothing will be as bad as this.  When I’m done here, I’ll be able to handle anything!”  Well, I can’t handle anything, but I sure can endure a lot of [self-imposed] stress.  I was taught to push myself and lived in a world where that was the norm.

Since many of you B, C, and XYZ personalities are now about to leave this blog post in search of greener pastures, I’ll give you the good news.  You don’t have to be born with a color-coded to-do list in your hand.  Some of the most successful people I know did not grow up with instilled discipline.  In fact, quite the contrary.  But, one thing is certain.  All successful people start with a spark of passion.  They discover what makes them tick and will stop at nothing to get it.  They develop the ability to make decisions and follow through, even if the result is a major bomb.  Living in NC, I think of the Wright brothers.  Fail fail fail fail fail fail fail and then finally… success.  All because they discovered a passion, made clear decisions, went full force with each, accepted defeat, and tried and tried again.  Something we always talk about here in the office:  it’s better to make a clear decision about something and fail, then make no decision at all.

Some tough love for the XYZ’s.  (I have a few XY#!Q$E#X’s as clients.)  My advice to them is always as follows: stop making excuses.  I get the laundry list of excuses accompanied with lots of whining and in the end… “buuuut Lara… ok, ok, I know you’re right buuut… I just… I…”.  Get over the idea that you just aren’t good enough, you’ll never get caught up, and you’ll never be great.  You are, you will and you have the choice to be.  If you don’t believe that, first of all, I want to give you a hug, then a swift kick in the pants because you have much more potential than you give yourself credit for.  On my bulletin board:  “The greatest human temptation is to settle for too little.” – Thomas Merton Are you settling for too little?  What excuses do you make on a regular basis?  If you need help with this one, be brave and ask your spouse or your best friend to tell you the excuses they hear you make often.  Write them down. Time to get real, friends.

Humility. Humility’s purpose in making things happen is to allow us the freedom to fail.  It’s about letting go.  If you aren’t failing on occasion, you aren’t dreaming big enough.  You are hiding from your true potential.  I’ve failed more times than I can count.  You know why I’m speaking on “Taking Interns to Associates” at Eventology?  Because I’ve made every mistake in the book and it has taken years of learning the hard way to get me to the right way.  I now have a team of equals that infuses me as much as I infuse them.  Granted, I don’t take credit for them being so awesome.  Katharine, Emily and Whitney arrived on the awesome train together.  But, we’ve made a conscious effort to create an environment that allows us to fail and not fall.

We learn together and communicate honestly and openly about fears, mistakes, money, family, and all the hard stuff I used to hate talking about.  We all put in an equal effort to keep the atmosphere positive, encouraging, and honest.  We have built trust to the point where I can say, “I made a mistake.  I’m sorry.  Here’s how I intend to fix and learn from it.”  It takes failing gracefully –and sometimes not so gracefully– to start to “get it.”  It’s a practice, an awareness, and for me, a life-long journey that I’m excited to take because with every wall I break down, I feel more genuine pride.  Healthy pride.  Humility is not about being timid.  Don’t confuse the two.  Practicing true humility means embodying one’s strengths and God-given gifts with grace, allowing for self-reflection, keying into the ability to listen to the feedback the world is giving us, and -here’s the kicker- doing something about it.  What are your unique strengths?  Write them down.  Get specific. For example, I know I am great at motivating and encouraging people.  Specifically, I have the ability to see people’s potential and can define active steps for them to get there.  It’s important to know what your strengths are when facing failure so the pain of facing it doesn’t paralyze you.

I know when I’m exercising humility, I can feel it.  It’s a very silent moment.  I’ll get mad about criticism or a comment, start to feel my blood boil and that defensive lawyer emerge in me and I just have to stop.  I stop, breathe, and there is a small painful moment of letting go when I pause to consider “maybe they are right and I am dead wrong”.  Let yourself at least consider it.  Most of the time, the things that anger us the most about others, are a reflection of ourselves.  I can’t emphasize enough how much learning how to stop in those moments has helped me in business.

As an INFP (translate that to sensitive person), I like to put up walls to protect myself from the vulnerability that comes with true humility.  It gets me nowhere.  Anger, I have learned, is a call to action.  I can do something about it or continue to ride my high horse in circles.  Do you always feel like you are on the defense with clients?  Are you going in circles with your progress?  If so, it’s time for a reality check.  No one is perfect.   You are not your thoughts.   You are not your fears.  You are not defined by past actions and missteps.  You are defined by how you express them in this moment and in every moment from hereon out.  Practicing humility is just that… it’s a process.  Accept that you make mistakes and resolve to fix them, one baby step at a time.  You’ll fail a thousand times, but every single failure is worth experiencing if it brings you to greater clarity and renewed genuine confidence.

Crazy. Last and greatest: this is the part of the formula entitled “5 parts crazy”.  You have to have a little wild card in you to experience the success you deserve.  I’m pretty sure that if you are reading this post, you do.  I love when a client starts a conversation with “I have this crazy idea…”  Those are always the ones that take wings because they take a deeply-rooted passion to even dream up!  Seize them and run with them.  Everything I’ve accomplished started as one of those “I have this crazy idea” moments.  Talking about creating a blog many years ago, starting an event planning firm, being a consultant for luxury wedding pros and hello.. starting my own magazine all seemed ludicrous at the time!  What are your big ideas?  What are the things you want to make happen?  Write them down.

Sometimes making things happen is simply about showing up.  You have to seize opportunity when it knocks.  I learned this year that taking too much opportunity and always saying yes can hinder happiness, but if you want to play with the big boys, you have to act like it.  Get off the couch and get out there.  Opportunity doesn’t exactly come and find you while you are holed up in your office messing with Aperture.  Opportunity is born out of relationships and you can’t make those in front of a computer screen.  [side note:  Twitter and social media of all forms are not a replacement for one-on-one time, but are valuable because they can help start the conversation.  When I meet people at events, I have a great point of reference and feel like I know them a little, even though we've never actually met in person. I have met 90% of the people I follow on Twitter now and have real relationships with many of them, not just "tweelationships".  (Kyle Barnes, you might have "wediting" but I just coined that one.  25 cents, please.)]

This post took me two weeks to write because I was afraid to put it out there.  In the end, I had to take my own advice and “feel the fear and do it anyway.”  These thoughts are the real deal…  the things I think about all day long.

A final thought:  if you’re not having fun along this journey, just stop.  Running a busy business makes me want to cry and fall to my knees at times, but experiencing life with the inspiring women I work with and laughing every step of the way makes it all worth it.  Asking yourself these questions is not at all easy and accepting facts about where you are can be daunting, but just remember that you don’t have to figure it all out today.  Take time to celebrate your successes.  Laugh, dance, sing, and play along the way.  What’s the phrase? …  work hard, play hard?   Yeah.  Do that.  You’ll thank yourself.

Since making things happen is so individual and cannot possibly be explained in a single blog post, I have a big announcement coming up next.

xo lc

Happy Thanksgiving week!   I’m giving away 2 copies of Outliers and 2 copies of Tribes, books that have really fired me up.  Simply leave a comment here.  Winners announced December 1st via Twitter.

image credits :: Our Labor of Love epic Smilebooth from our issue launch party at Bridal Bar Atlanta.  Amazing backdrop by Dolci Odille.

You’ve heard about our daily (and surprisingly enjoyable) morning huddle, the comfy couch and plush pillows, but what can four girls possibly have to talk about for a half hour every day, right?  (Right…)  For a group of twenty-something-year-olds (happy almost-30th, Lara!) who like to believe they have rich and intriguing personal lives, we’re surprisingly all-business and matter-of-fact when it comes to discussing the day’s laundry list of to-do’s and planning for those daunting and exciting projects on the horizon (can our second print issue really be coming out on November 3?!).  Meticulous Emily, who always has her list prepared and enumerated in ascending order of importance (I’m almost certain she plans out her daily tasks months in advance), helps keep everyone on track at these daily get-togethers while Lara is unnaturally full of energy, enthusiasm and new ideas for a 10:00 a.m. meeting.  By the time I’ve settled into my sugar fix for the day (think jumbo size bags of Sour Patch Kids or millions of tiny Nerds) and stifled a yawn, my co-workers have already launched into the official SW plan of attack: the blog needs to be updated, images collected for print, international photographers called for cover shoots and vendors consulted about tablescaping brilliance.  We get things done.

If this sounds like a too normal, too mainstream morning ritual for Lara Casey, then you probably know our editor-in-chief pretty well.  Sure, she’s all about getting things done and making things happen and, naturally, our morning meeting is the perfect place to get the ball rolling.  But we don’t end the meeting and start the work day with mere to-do lists and a set schedule.  “Who has reading prepared?”  Lara asks, looking from me to Emily, over to Whitney and back to me.  I feel like I’m back in school again (gulp) and, for a split second, I’m nervously panicking that I’ve forgotten my book (again), left my notes at home or, worse yet, missed the entire point of the assignment.  Yes, we have assigned nightly readings; homework, if you will, that, at first glance, has nothing to do with the blog, the magazine or the day-to-day of Southern Weddings.  Or does it?

We’ve just finished Seth Godin’s Tribes (more on that later!) and now have started on Malcolm Gladwell’s Outliers.  We’re learning how to build a following, to perfect our brand and to set aside the fear that goes hand-in-hand with anything worth doing.  We’ve seen that there may be no such thing as the self-made man (or woman, as politically correct Emily likes to remind me), that success is largely a product of our own individual environment, upbringing and personal history and that the bad is just as (if not more) important than the good in our lives.  Best of all, I’ve come to appreciate now more than ever how intelligent, insightful and dynamic Lara, Emily and Whitney are, all thanks to a small daily huddle and a few chapters.  Not your average morning meeting, huh?

While I’m starting to see the benefit of these nightly reading assignments, I’ve come to appreciate another aspect of our morning ritual: positive praise.  If we’re being honest here (and I think that’s my main job: to give you and honest and unbiased glimpse into the real lives of the SW ladies), I’m not usually of fan of the sentimental, of talking about one’s feelings or of sharing details from my personal life.  Though I consider myself a generally warm, friendly and empathetic individual, it makes me nervous to think that my co-workers are going to find out something that they won’t like or that they can’t relate to, and that they then might not like me as much as I like (love) them.  So last week when Lara, sensing the group’s low energy and high stress, told us to take out a pen and started passing around multi-colored note cards, I wasn’t totally convinced that making a list about my problems was really going to solve anything.  No offense, Lara, but isn’t the best way to solve any problem a matter-of-fact, all-business approach that gets things done?

“I want you to write down five things you know you’re good at and that you like about yourself,” Lara starts.  Better, I thought, but how is this really going to help me get through my mountain of email or the pile of work starting at me from my desk?  Don’t I have a deadline coming up this Friday?  Despite the positive nature of the exercise (who doesn’t like thinking highly of himself?), I suspect there are very few people who actually would feel comfortable with let alone enjoy defining the five things they’re good at or like best about themselves.  Trying to get through the assignment as quickly as possible, I jotted down the first things that came to mind: usually happy, like to write, try to have a good attitude, great personal life and family-oriented.  Sure, I’d played it a bit safe when it came to brainstorming about the things I’m really good at or that make me an asset to SW, but this was something I felt I could rush through, set aside and then get back to my life.

“Now, write down the five things you like best about your co-workers.”  Interesting.  This I could do.  Unlike the first task, Lara now was asking me to brag about the girls I respect, like and admire so much.  Easy.  (Or so I thought.)   How do I put the best of Emily Ayer (and trust me, there really is a lot) on a tiny piece of paper?  How do I express my appreciation for Lara’s taking a risk and hiring me, inexperience and all, directly out of college?  Can five words really sum up Whitney Davis?  I did the assignment, trying my best to praise my co-workers while being as sincere and concise as possible, all the while plagued by the nagging sense that I couldn’t possibly do the girls justice.

We generally never share the lists we make during our morning meetings but that day Lara asked us to give the cards we had just written to each of our co-workers.  Apparently Lara knew something I didn’t: while I was afraid that this brainstorming activity was going to put me even further behind at work, Lara knew the impact five genuine and thoughtful comments can have, not only on someone’s day but on the rest of their week, month and maybe even on the rest of their lives.  I’m not going to tell you what the girls wrote on my note cards; more important than the specific compliments they paid me was the fact that they had taken the time to say something nice and that they, for whatever reason, truly believed the things they had said.   I’ve been blessed with many positive, happy experiences in my life, but there are few times I’ve ever felt better than I did in those five minutes immediately after receiving Lara, Emily and Whitney’s Five Things.  They liked me!  They valued me!  They thought of me as a proficient colleague, as someone worth knowing and even as a friend!

Take it from me: as a skeptic and a pragmatist (my boyfriend’s euphemism for the pessimist he thinks I am), warm-fuzzies aren’t always my thing.  But there’s something about the “5 Things Exercise,” especially when sent from individuals not bound by blood or romance to love me, that impacted me in a surprisingly profound a way.  If I could recommend one thing, I’d suggest that you pick three people in your life and jot down the five things you like best about them.  Then, if you’re brave enough, leave the list on their desk on in their inbox.  Corny?  Yes.  Overly-sentimental? Maybe.  Risky?  Definitely.  But imagine how it would feel to wake up to find someone’s five favorite things about you.  It’s an incredible feeling and one that only breeds exponential good will, camaraderie and human connection.  Remember: it’s not what you say but the sentiment behind what you’re saying that really matters.  Do this and I promise you will love life.

And just to prove I, indeed, practice what I preach, here are the five things I like best about my job here at Southern Weddings:

(above: yesterday afternoon, across from our office, meeting with the brilliant author and speaker Simon T Bailey)

1.  The people!  In college, I was surrounded by some of the most intelligent and talented people in the world, but here, more so than ever, I am challenged, inspired and fulfilled on a daily basis by my talented co-workers. ps- welcome to our new interns, Alyssa and Sydney!

2.  What I do.  I get paid to write, to look at pretty pictures and to share my thoughts with all of you.  That’s kind of a no-brainer, right?

3.  Human interaction: If you’ve ever twittered, emailed or spoken on the phone with me, you know how often the SW girls get to interact with some of the best professionals in the industry.  I’ve always wanted a job where I was working with other people and not in isolation by myself.

4.  Lara’s humanism.  Though definitely my boss in every sense of the word, she’s every bit a real person: kind, thoughtful and empathetic.  It’s nice to work somewhere you are valued and for someone who tries to create an office environment that reinforces that sense of self-worth.

5.  My quality of life.  Sometimes I send my boyfriend, Kyle, random texts telling him how much I love my life.  I think it’s hard to truly love your life if you don’t love your job.  And you really can’t beat that!

love*love,

Katharine

Something I think too-easily (and too-often) gets left out of reviews of a new job is the office culture you step into, the set of company values you embrace and, of course, the people you work with. Beyond the routine and seemingly all-important concerns of salary, work assignments and enviable office views, what are our co-workers like and, more importantly, what is it like actually working with these new and unfamiliar people toward a common goal?

As many of you know, I’m (brand) new not only to Southern Weddings specifically but also to the wedding industry in general. I’m learning about the print world and wedding realm simultaneously, discovering new things about myself, my talents and my interests and, not surprisingly, making my fair share of mistakes along the way. But when it comes to really learning about a company, there’s no one quite like a newcomer to give you a fresh glimpse into the daily life, culture and people behind the pretty logo. Over the next weeks, I’ll be sharing with you more about the fabulous women of SW: how they live, work, interact and, most importantly, how they make things happen.

image :: David Murray Weddings

Indeed, here at SW, we are our own newer (and younger) Sex and the City foursome. And just like the iconic Carrie Bradshaw, Samantha Jones, Charlotte York and Miranda Hobbs, we each have our own unique history, personality and special skills. At any other company, large or small, I’m convinced we would be judged, defined and even remembered by our resumes, job titles and work experience alone. But while I certainly could rattle off my colleagues’ impressive stats and polished credentials (Lara, as the founder and owner of Bliss Event Group, publisher and editor-in-chief of Southern Weddings and front-woman of Lara Casey Reps, is the definition of a self-made and uber-successful entrepreneur; Emily, the recent summa cum laude Phi Beta Kappa grad from Wheaton, specializes both in discovering the most visionary and sought-after weddings for print and in creating truly inspirational inspiration boards; and Whitney, a rising sophomore at UNC Chapel Hill, is nothing short of Lara Casey’s right-hand woman), I see these amazing women in a slightly different and more personal light. And herein, I believe, lies the magic, novelty and genius of Southern Weddings.

image :: our labor of love

As a company, an office and a brand, Southern Weddings (and its women) are something special. We want to be real and approachable (not corporate) and strive for openness and transparency. Naturally, with our unique work focus comes an even more original office culture. Lara Casey is not only the founder, owner, editor and my boss, but also my mentor, teacher and inspiration. We start our day with a morning huddle. Most people dread going to their morning meetings, but this is my favorite part of day. We sit in the “office living room” – aka the comfy couch decked with designer pillows, several pedestal-esque ottomans and overstuffed chairs – and build excitement and a plan for the day. We end each morning huddle by reading something inspiring. Right now we’re into Tribes and are loving its effect on our daily attitude and approach. These morning huddles build a sense of community and solidify our shared purpose. My co-workers are not my competition but my counterparts, simultaneously integral and essential to my own success and the continued success of our work product and public image. What I cannot do, Emily does flawlessly and effortlessly; what comes slowly and painfully to me is second-nature to Whitney. We’re learning each day how to fill in the gaps for each other.

Certainly, every company insists they are a team and that their success is built on the strength and talent not of individuals but of the group as a whole. If we don’t connect as a team every day and feel renewed when we walk in the door (details on how we do that coming in future posts), we wouldn’t make things happen as often as we do… or have as much fun in the process! After only a short time here, I already can see that we are unique: we are not simply a small office that has no choice but to depend on one another to complete the day’s tasks, the month’s assignments and the year’s projects, but a group of women that is conditioned to treat our company, our work and, importantly, our relationships with both colleagues and clients differently than the rest of the working world. Quite simply: we break all the rules and succeed because of it.

image :: David Murray Weddings

I wish I could take credit for my sudden and admittedly radical change in perspective on the working world, but there’s something about working for Lara that encourages and, in fact, almost demands one completely revamp and revise her perspective of the professional world and her place in it. She has gone through quite a transition in the last few months and it’s so exciting to see the fruits of her many efforts beginning to show. We’re pushing new boundaries. It is precisely by pushing these boundaries and challenging accepted conventions of how business is done and how employees should interact with one another that allows Southern Weddings to grow, thrive and continue to wow!

Still want to know more about the girls behind the magazine? Check back for all the exciting details about our professional and personal lives together as the lovely ladies of Southern Weddings.

Love from the Southland,

Katharine