Dec 21, 2018

2019 GOAL SETTING, Part 2: The 1 Question You Need to Ask Yourself

Giveaway, Goal Setting

Hi, friends! Welcome back to Part 2 of the 2019 Goal Setting Series! If you’re new, I’m so glad you landed here. Hop over to read Part 1 before digging in here or into Part 3, Part 4, and Part 5 !

Note: We are so grateful that ALL of our 2019 One-year PowerSheets are SOLD OUT. But, good news! You can get started at any time with Six-Month Undated PowerSheets (available NOW), which include the same Prep Work as the One-Year Goal Planners! New to the party? Head to the Cultivate Shop or say hello – we’re so glad you’re here!

Want to listen to this post? I’ll happily read it to you!

You know the feeling you get when your to-do list starts running your life into the ground?

There’s so much to get done and it sometimes feels like there’s never enough time for the rest of life—the joy-filled living part. You can’t slow down, though—not possible. Something might fall through the cracks if you do. So you keep going. Striving to get one more thing done and feeling like the only thing that’s done is you.

Maybe that’s you today.

And you’re here reading this post, searching for something that will make life easier, because you feel like you’re MISSING IT. You think, “When will I start really living?”

Let me go ahead and tell you that conquering your to-do list once and for all won’t actually solve the root of the problem.

It starts with what goes on that list in the first place. Maybe, just maybe, you could start doing less and making it mean a whole lot more. It all starts with answering the one question that will change your life forever.

But, before we get to that question, let me help you with something you may be experiencing. Have you caught yourself feeling like your answers to Part 1 weren’t enough? Maybe you’re wondering if you did it “right?” Yes, my friend, you aren’t just doing this “right”—you’re rocking it! I’ve never been so blown away by such clarity and heart. You are here for a reason and your answers to Part 1 were exactly what they were supposed to be. I’m so proud of you! 🙂 So, have you done this right? Yes! You’re on your way to your best year yet!

Get your 2019 PowerSheets before we sell out for the year! Just for you: use code BESTYEAR2019 for 15% off your purchase.

Today’s action steps are simple and powerful. Are you ready?

Let’s do it!

If you’ve been feeling restless lately, wanting things to change, but believing that change is impossible, I know this for sure: change is possible. There is a way to move forward. I’m going to guide you there, step by intentional step.

I wrote the handwriting piece above (which has since been shared online tens of millions of times—so crazy) not about skydiving, traveling to a foreign country, or anything you might typically see on a bucket list. I wrote it late one night in my kitchen, after putting baby Grace to sleep, about wanting to finally read the Bible from start to finish. It felt like a daunting task, but I wanted to grow my faith. I was determined—this really mattered to me in the big picture!

And when something really matters to you in the big picture, how you do it doesn’t matter so much as why you do it.

My why drove me forward, especially during the many times I fell behind or wanted to jump ship. (Have you ever felt that way?) Little by little, over the course of a year and a half, I did end up reading the Bible—and it changed everything. The little-by-little added up!

Maybe you want to cultivate stronger friendships, grow your business, or learn to cook dinner for your family. Maybe you want to pay down debt, run a 10k, or finally do that thing that’s been on your list forever. Whatever it is, let’s talk about it!

Let’s plant the first seed right here, together!

STEP 4: Ready for the one question you need to ask yourself to uncover your best goals? Here it is.

Where you want to be when you’re 80—or 90 or 100? What will be important to you then, and what won’t?

The answer to this question is the secret to setting goals that matter—goals you can’t wait to get started on.

Have you heard of S.M.A.R.T. goals?

SMART stands for specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound goals.

But, time and time again, despite their reputation of being foolproof, SMART goals fail.

SMART goals are missing one key component (the secret sauce of our community’s success!): heart.

When the goal you want to achieve matters to you in the big picture, you will follow through. No matter how many times you mess up along the way, you’ll get back up—because you care! How perfectly you get there doesn’t matter as much as why. And the why behind your goals is what keeps you from jumping ship at the first sign of imperfection.

Uncovering heart-filled goals is what you’re doing right now as you answer this question— and I’m so excited for you!

So, what will matter to you in the big picture and what won’t?

I’ve asked this question of thousands of women and the answers to where we want to be when we’re 80 tend to be about relationships and growing what lasts longer than us.

What won’t matter to you then? How many likes you had on an Instagram post, how much other people approved of you, or having a perfectly clean house or organized pantry, perhaps? (There’s nothing wrong with any of those things, by the way—if having an organized pantry helps you love your people in the big picture, organize your heart out! And social media can be a wonderful tool to help others when used well. It tends to be more of a distraction for most of us, though.)

Your answers here matter.

You never know how long you have left here on this earth to love others and use what you’ve been given to grow good things. Life is too short and too meaningful to coast through. The good you do today has the potential to change generations. That’s why uncovering good goals and having a clear focus is so important.

We can’t do it all and do it well, but we can choose to cultivate what matters.

The alternative is spending your time lost in distractions. Lost in Instagram. Lost in the chase for perfect, or significance, or approval, or whatever it is that has been holding you back from really living. You may find yourself restless, knowing deep down that there’s more to this life. If that’s you right now, you are in the right place! I know that feeling well, and this is your chance to choose change as you answer this question.

To get uncomfortable.

To think bigger than you.

To press into the fear and give it the boot!

Write out your thoughts—and remember, make a mess. No perfect answers or handwriting needed. Write what’s true for you.

Knowing where you want to be in the big picture helps you simplify your life—and your to-do list—today. If there are things on your list that aren’t getting you to where you want to be when you’re 80, maybe they don’t need to be there! (Take that, to-do list!)

STEP FIVE: With the big picture in mind, what’s one thing you want to cultivate in the year ahead? No perfect or polished answers needed here either! There may be many things you want to change and do, but just focus on one for now. What’s one thing you want to grow or change or simplify in your life—the first thing that comes to mind? Write it down, and I encourage you to share your thoughts in the comments for accountability and to encourage others, too. I’m going to leave my answer in the comments alongside you!

STEP SIX: We talked about the good things from the year in Part 1. Now, let’s name a few of the challenges from 2018. What didn’t help you cultivate what matters this year?

This may be the most valuable step you take—this will help you know where you’re NOT going in 2019! Write the facts and know that each thing you write down is an area of your life that could be made completely new.

A few of my 2018 challenges:

— Any time I worried, feared, or gave in to stress, it was because I forgot that God is God and He has done countless miraculous things in my life.

— I’ve had a literal pain in my neck. I’m grateful for physical therapy and doctors but injuring my neck (gardening, of all things—granted it was heavy work… uprooting hedges) has been a challenge for me. I have an angry disk that I pray will return to its home one day soon. On the same note with my health, I’m turning 40 next year and the hot flashes and sleeplessness have crept up on me. I’m feeling it!

— Imbalance in my work schedule. I’ve worked past my work hours about a dozen times this year, which may not seem like much, but to me it’s significant. This year brought a lot of work transitions and, for me, a deeper focus on homeschool. So, I had to juggle my time in heavy seasons. I don’t want working nights to continue, though. That time is important to our marriage staying strong and to my health—sleep makes everything better!

— Letting go of Southern Weddings was bittersweet. We completed the work we were given to do, and we made room for new things. But, it was a challenge for us financially. We let go of a growing business and it was a sacrifice we had to make for the big picture, but it made for a lot of stress on my end as unexpected financial burdens hit us this year. As always though, good things come out of hard things (even when I didn’t think they would!). This is why I wrote “I learned to trust Him more than ever this year” on my Good Things list. My faith has grown and my longing for Heaven is stronger. That is a gift!

There were many more challenges—far greater than these—but I’ll say that in all of them, I grew. Pruning is a gift. And for that, I’m grateful.

If you are a believer, ask God to help you let go of the hard things, learn from them, and move forward in His timing. Some encouragement to get your mind refreshed:

‘I do not consider myself yet to have laid hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize of God’s heavenly calling in Christ Jesus.’ (Philippians 3:13-14)

‘See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland’ (Isaiah 43:19 NIV).

Where do you go from here with the challenges? Do you know how cow manure is one of the best fertilizers for flowers and gardens? It’s the same with our challenges! 🙂 Let’s grow some good things and get some fruitful lessons out of what felt like a big mess!

Use the 15% off code BESTYEAR2019 to do this all year long with the PowerSheets Goal Planner.

Once you have your list of challenges from 2018, name some of the lessons you learned from them. In all the hard stuff, there are gifts—valuable lessons that will help you grow what matters ahead. Let’s do some digging and find the golden nuggets of wisdom hiding in the dirt!

Here are a few of mine:

A note of encouragement if you’re in the thick of a challenge right now and have no idea yet what it’s supposed to teach you: That’s okay! Wherever you are, you’re right where you’re supposed to be. Write what’s true for you (“I’m not sure what I’m supposed to learn here,” is a perfectly good answer!) and move forward.

STEP SEVEN: Who helped you live intentionally and grow good things in 2018? Looking back at your list of good things from Part 1, and all that you’ve written so far in this series, who helped you to live on purpose this year? Who encouraged you or helped you? Download a free printable worksheet here and write the names of those you are grateful for and why. And then… do something about it! Thank them for the specific things they helped you with or inspired in you.

You may think they don’t need encouragement, or it won’t matter, but words have power.

Gift your people with those words!

You never know what good it might spark.

You can keep this simple and still make a huge impact: a text or an email can go a long way to change someone’s day—and change their life. I spent the morning sending emails to friends and colleagues who have meant a lot to me this year, and I’ve felt the glow of sending those happy messages all day!

I am grateful for many. A few highlights from my PowerSheets:

Who are you grateful for this year?

Leave your answers in the comments, but most of all, send some love to the people on your list!

OPTIONAL BONUS STEP: Get visual! Make a Pinterest board of images that will inspire your purposeful year. What do you want to grow? Leave a link to your board in the comments—I’d love to see! If Pinterest distracts you, skip this step! Do whatever will keep you focused on your best year yet.

Pick images that point you to what matters. To help you do this, we’re having a Pinterest contest with an amazing prize: a seat to the Making Things Happen Conference! Get started here.

(Here are my boards from past years—it’s fun to look back! 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, and 2018.)

Your turn! Today’s 4 Goal Uncovering Steps:

4. Where do you want to be when you’re 80? What will matter to you then and what won’t?

5. What’s one thing you most want to cultivate in 2019?

6. What challenges did you experience in 2018, and what lessons did you learn from them?

7. Who helped you in 2018? Who are you grateful for? (Go tell them!)

Optional bonus step: get visual and make your 2019 vision board!

I’ll be back next Wednesday, December 26th, for Part 3! Till then, Merry Christmas, my friends! My parents just got here and we’re going to bake, listen to Alabama Christmas, and snuggle up right here together! 🙂 I hope your weekend is filled joy!

Need some extra motivation? The Ultimate New Year’s Giveaway is on! (Amazing! Can I win??) I hope this gives you a little extra encouragement to share your answers as we go through this series. I can’t wait to read your thoughts and hear your aha! moments. One person who comments with answers to every step in this series will win a bonus prize: one of everything from the Cultivate What Matters® Shop! Yes!!! This includes 2019 PowerSheets, the new Celebrations Binder, a Goal-Setting Sticker Book, your choice of Make it Happen zipper pouch, my books, and so much more! There are 35 prizes, so that means 35 of you are going to win one of these prizes—it could be YOU. (Including international friends!)

A big thank you to everyone who entered! What a joy it was to hear your responses and get to chat with you in the comments! Congratulations to our winners below! If you’re a winner, fill out this form to collect your prize within 48 hours or a new winner will be selected!

— 10 sets of 2019 PowerSheets to help 10 of you cultivate your BEST year yet! —Mary Conti, Emily Yost, Amy Wing, Jen Martinez, Brittany Garrett, Chelsea Pirtle, Mariah Meade, Kimberly Boyd, Tonya Kappes, Amber Corey
— A Goal Guide Bundle to help you dig deeper on your specific goals. — Jaimie Tollers
— Five signed copies of Cultivate. —Lisa McMahon, Patrice Pierce Thornton, Steph Conklin, Bonnie Johnson, Kristin Vlasak,
— Five signed copies of Make It Happen. —Michele Lanning, Mariela Capellan, Amy Bain, Stephanie Canete, Amanda Applegate
— One Write the Word All Seasons Collection to help you cultivate fresh faith all year long. —Becki Sue
— A gift card (YES!) for a massage to kick off your year refreshed! —Ashley Bossong
— A Balanced Life membership – get moving and motivated with a year of at-home pilates! —Heather Renee
— A Floret Flowers puzzle (it’s double-sided and so much fun!) —Leah Meadows
—A Revelation Wellness membership with a ‘Wellness Kickoff Package” to cultivate your health in the New Year. —Elizabeth Hiney
— One Artifact Uprising album to document the people and experiences that matters most to you. —Natalie Gessell
— An Emily Ley Simplified Planner to keep your schedule organized in the new year. —Amanda Burley
— Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University course—a life-changing experience to help you pursue financial freedom. —Cindy Booth Carlson
— One Val Marie Paper Yearly Prayer Journal. I’ll be using one this year, too! —Michelle McQueen
— A Hello Fresh boxto keep you fueled with good food. —Kate Mariani
— One Art Bar canvas (up to $150 value) to brighten your walls. —Gina Abatiello
— A Fitbit to help you celebrate your literal steps forward. —Evangelina Cantu
— An Amazon Alexa to keep you dancing. —Rachel Whorley

And the bonus prize for one of you who comments on all 5 posts in this series: a ONE OF EVERYTHING Bundle from the Cultivate Shop! —Katie Ledvina

SHARE THIS SERIES WITH YOUR PEOPLE. Don’t keep all this goodness to yourself! I’d be so grateful if you spread the word about this free series. Email this kick-off post to your friends, tweet it, ‘gram it (here are lots of sharable graphics for you to make it easy!), text it—sing it to the rooftops! Let’s get all our friends in on this so they can feel as refreshed and clear about 2019 as we will. Here’s to our best year yet together—starting now!

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Giveaway ends January 30th. Winners will be announced on February 1st here on the blog. Hard goods are for US entrants only. If you don’t claim your prize within 48 hours, another winner will be selected, so mark your planners and stay posted! 🙂 This post contains affiliate links.

P.S. Need a last-minute gift? Buy her a gift card for PowerSheets! It comes with a printable card and the cutest downloadable gift wrap, too. Best gift ever!

Wordpress Comments (163), Facebook Comments ()

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163 Comments

Jenifer on December 21, 2018 at 12:25 pm

4. Where do you want to be when you’re 80? What will matter to you then and what won’t? FAMILY! I want to leave a strong legacy of family and laughter. I also want to see lots of souls saved!

5. What’s one thing you most want to cultivate in 2019? Health.

6. What challenges did you experience in 2018, and what lessons did you learn from them? Laziness. I learned that I just need to do the thing.

7. Who helped you in 2018? Who are you grateful for? (Go tell them!) Hisband and kids.

Reply
- Missie on December 21, 2018 at 2:15 pm
  
  I love that you want a legacy of laughter. This is one of the things that is top on my list as well. Laughter fuels me. I think I inherited it from my grandmother. At her funeral (she was 98.5 when she died), everyone that spoke began with the same thing: What they remembered most about her was that she was always laughing! I always said it was her joy bubbling over.
  
  Reply
- Lara on December 28, 2018 at 2:39 pm
  
  A legacy of laughter! So good!
  
  Reply
Emily DeArdo on December 21, 2018 at 12:40 pm

4) Big Picture: I want to be alive, obviously. LOL. Happy with my body, having rich relationships with both The Lord and people, a deep faith, and have gotten books published! Yay!

5) In the year ahead I want to cultivate a focused year, Deep in God and JOY! I want to travel, have a healthy happy body, do lots of writing and spending times with friends and family, and having new experiences, all while embracing COURAGE (my word for the year!) and not being afraid to go after the big things!

6) Challenges this past year: Weight rebound, inconsistent exercise routine, and contentment in what I have is a Work In Progress! (Another reason I’m doing the Contentment Challenge in January!) I also need to have TOTAL trust in God. Total!

7) People I’m grateful for: My parents, my siblings, my friends Liz, Elizabeth, Jen, Mary, Sarah B., Micaela, Heather, Andrea, and my collaborators at Take Up And Read (we do Scripture devotionals!).

Reply
- Lara on December 28, 2018 at 2:39 pm
  
  Grateful for you, friend! : )
  
  Reply
Bonnie Johnson on December 21, 2018 at 12:41 pm

4. Where do you want to be when you’re 80? What will matter to you then and what won’t? I want to be healthy enough to enjoy life and be known as someone who has made a difference to many other people’s lives.

5. What’s one thing you most want to cultivate in 2019? friends

6. What challenges did you experience in 2018, and what lessons did you learn from them? Lack of focus, distractablility, lack of follow-through.

7. Who helped you in 2018? Who are you grateful for? (Go tell them!) husband and neighbors Doug & Nonie

Reply
- Lara on December 28, 2018 at 2:39 pm
  
  Thank you so much for sharing, Bonnie!
  
  Reply
Lisa Hoagland on December 21, 2018 at 12:46 pm

4. Where do you want to be when you’re 80? What will matter to you then and what won’t?
-When I’m 80 I am going to be concerned with family. Not so much what job I did. But the relationships I have/had.

5. What’s one thing you most want to cultivate in 2019? A glad heart about my home management.

6. What challenges did you experience in 2018, and what lessons did you learn from them? Family time, prioritizing my family over teaching piano and my other job.

7. Who helped you in 2018? Who are you grateful for? (Go tell them!) My husband for encouragement to be selective at what I am committed to outside of our family life.

Reply
- Lara on December 28, 2018 at 2:40 pm
  
  A friend of mine put her focus on changing her heart around home management in 2018, and it was huge for her! Cheering you on!
  
  Reply
Brittany on December 21, 2018 at 1:02 pm

Step 4:
What will be important to me when I’m 80 will be the relationships I’ve had and cultivated, my relationship with God and what I’ve invested in His kingdom, how I raised my kids (That I don’t yet have), and all the memories I’ll have.

Step 5:
One thing is like to cultivate this year is my relationship with God and my new responsibilities with Him.

Step 6:
Wasting too much time on my phone as the tv. I’ve realized there’s things I’ve wanted to get done that I actually could’ve if I were spending my time more wisely.
I know other things weren’t good, but I’m having a hard time thinking of them right now.

Step 7:
Who helped me the most and who I’m grateful for is my husband, he is one of the only people who pushes be to grow and become better.

Reply
- Lara on December 28, 2018 at 2:40 pm
  
  So good, Brittany!
  
  Reply
Anna on December 21, 2018 at 1:15 pm

4. When I’m 80, I want to be a woman filled with wisdom and the word of God. I want to be a trustworthy steward of truth, who disciples others constantly and leads them to a deeper and more profound knowledge of Jesus! I want to be a woman deeply in love with her God.

5. I think “Health” is going to be my top priority for 2019! All aspects of it.

6. One of the biggest challenges I’ve faced this year is something so close to heart, it’s not publicly shareable. But it’s taught me a lot…about God’s kindness towards me, His personal love and care, and that nothing is without meaning or purpose. Absolutely nothing. Aaaaaand DISTRACTION has been public enemy number one! I cannot count the hours I’ve probably spent scrolling social media or reading news articles that added absolutely nothing to my life. This has taught me that I want to *really* work at staying focused and OFF the phone, as much as I’m able to be – to spend more time pursuing what I love!

7. there’s a group of women that has developed into a close-knit circle of friends this year, and they means the world to me. My go-to girls, my “pocket-people” (Stephanie May Wilson’s phrase!), My biggest cheerleaders! And of course, my very best friend. We’ve been through years of growth and life change, and she’s added a husband and two babies to her life in the duration of our friendship – and we’ve managed to keep our bond strong! I’m so thankful for her commitment to making *us* work. I’m thankful for my church family, and the kiddos I work with every day. Goodness, people are just the greatest 😍

Reply
- Lara on December 28, 2018 at 2:40 pm
  
  Thank you so much for being here, Anna!
  
  Reply
Amy on December 21, 2018 at 1:19 pm

I want to look back on my life when I am 80 and see fruit that is eternal. I want to love others well and point them to Christ. I want to be ready to meet Christ face to face and rejoice in being an imperfect faithful steward of the opportunities He gave me. I want to have lived and loved well and be spent for His glory not mine.

In 2019 I want to cultivate a life of stewardship. Stewardship is my word and phrase is stewardship is worship.

In 2018 we walked a season of unemployment and waiting on God and then moving cross-country. However, through it the kindness of God led us.

I am grateful for my in-laws who loved us well and in very practical ways last year.

Reply
- Lara on December 28, 2018 at 2:41 pm
  
  I’m thankful for in-laws, too! : )
  
  Reply
Nora on December 21, 2018 at 1:30 pm

4. Big Picture: The relationships I had and cultivated, including mine with God, if and how I followed His teachings. Hopefully by then I’ll have learned to be kind to myself.

What won’t matter to me? How tidy my flat was, what strangers on the internet trolling thought of me, if my seams were straight on handsewn items.

5. I’m struggling a lot with this one. I need to learn when to slow down and rest, when a planned break helps more than a forced collapse later, and I need to have a lot more patience and grace with myself.

6. There were plenty of challenges in 2018, mostly financial or health related. Again, I need grace and patience to deal with a progressive debilitating disability and chronic illness as well as mental health problems. I need grace and patience for myself when I slip up and make a budgeting error, and for DH when he slips up and spends more than he should, or spends without checking in if there’s money for that.

7. I’m immensely grateful for DH for standing by me and being a rock as I weather many storms. I tell him so about a dozen times a day; it’s part of our verbal expression of love.

Going to go work on my Pinterest board now!

Reply
- Lara on December 28, 2018 at 2:42 pm
  
  Sounds like you are a master at expressing gratitude – so good!!
  
  Reply
Missie on December 21, 2018 at 2:11 pm

WHERE/WHO DO I WANT TO BE WHEN I AM 80?
I want to be a woman “who laughs without fear of the future”, authentic in my love affair with Christ. I want to love my husband even more than I do today, still holding hands and kissing. I want my children (and grandchildren) to still come home. I want their biggest memories to be of the love they have felt in our family. I want them to be men and women of faith, strong and leading their families. Most of all, I want to have run the race set before me well – I want to have been a good steward of all God has given.

WHAT IS 1 THING I WANT TO GROW IN 2019:
I want to actively incorporate celebrations of faith in our home, not just give it lip service. I want to tie these moments to something tangible.

WHAT DIDN’T WORK IN 2019?
1. The “perfect” homeschool plan
2. Worrying, complaining and doing nothing and expecting change.
3. Letting “Monday” defeat me! – If I didn’t start something at the “right” time, then I waited for the next “right” time instead of just starting.

WHAT DID I LEARN FROM THE THINGS THAT DIDN’T WORK: (besides the fact that they don’t work 😉
1. When I try to control ALL the details, I lose perspective of where/what the goal is. JUST STEP FORWARD!
2. The “weeds” in my life are choking out the good things I want to grow. (I need to be consistent in teaching the littles to put away their shoes, so that when we are trying to get out the door to church we aren’t all frustrated, impatient, and angry as we try to worship and praise the Lord!)
3. As simple as this sounds, if I don’t move, how am I supposed to get anywhere .
4. And finally, God provides again and again and again and again.

WHO HELPED ME TO LIVE INTENTIONALLY IN 2018?
1. My husband – He has stepped in over and over to allow me the freedom to take care of my parents and to love them well.
2. Kim M. and Holly A. – they are the ultimate of friends and they are prayer warriors extraordinaire!
3. My oldest daughter – with both of my parents very sick at the first of the month, Christmas decorating this year was going to be pretty much non-existent other than the tree. She stepped in and directed and got it done! She created a lovely and cozy Christmas feel for the littles (and for me).
4. Lara and the Cultivate Team – y’all rock! Y’all always point me back to what matters and I appreciate it more than I know how to express. Truly, thank you isn’t enough.

Reply
- Lara on December 28, 2018 at 2:42 pm
  
  Beautiful, Missie!
  
  Reply
Becki Kugler on December 21, 2018 at 2:25 pm

4. Big Picture: I’ll be happily married to my husband, financially secure, intimately involved in my children’s family’s lives, secure in the knowledge that I’ve made a difference in the world and healthy. What won’t matter? The exact number on the scale, like and comments on social media, a pristine house, opinions of non-family/friends.
5. I want to cherish my body – eat lots of fruits and vegetables, maintain my weight, and run my first marathon post-babies.
6. Challenges: I make plans and have ideas for things, but don’t do them. I get overwhelmed, stressed and paralyzed instead of just getting things DONE. Clutter is a challenge. It makes me stressed, causes me to waste time and causes me to forget things/allow things to fall through the cracks. Hours and Hours and hours wasted on my phone. 🙁
7. Gratitude: Husband, mom, children, friend who introduced me to Powersheets, in-laws, former nanny. I am grateful for everyone around. I am truly surrounded only by those who love me deeply.

I’m working on my vision board. I’m excited to put the finishing touches on it and get it posted near by desk at home.

Reply
- Lara on December 28, 2018 at 2:42 pm
  
  Can’t wait to see your vision board, Becki!
  
  Reply
Chelsey on December 21, 2018 at 2:26 pm

4. When I’m 80, I want to know that I’ve loved my children well, that i discipled them and showed by example how to have a relationship with God. I want to leave a legacy of loving and serving others with compassion.

What won’t matter: what my house looked like, what kind of car I drove, what I posted on social media.

5. What I want to cultivate in 2019: so many things, but I think my first focus needs to be my own relationship with God, learning how to better to walk with Him and trust Him.

6: challenges in 2018: having patience. Not using my time wisely (too much technology and screen time) that detracts from relationships and the things that DO matter.

7. I’m immensely grateful for my husband, who serves our family so sacrificially. For our parents, who help us and pour into our kids so much. For several friends that have had trials of their own but are continuously there for me.

Reply
- Lara on December 28, 2018 at 2:42 pm
  
  I agree with your vision of age 80, Chelsey! So good!
  
  Reply
Michelle on December 21, 2018 at 2:50 pm

4. Relationships and passing my faith onto the grandkids is most important to me. Investing in other’s lives.
5. I want to help my husband get healthier and us both to have more energy.
6. I faced the challenge of decluttering plus finding ways to invest our money wisely to be able to move in the near future. I started selling some of that clutter on ebay and giving the other.
7. My daughter has helped me in so many areas of my life; especially, with ebay shipping and housework. She’s such a blessing at age 18.

Reply
- Lara on December 28, 2018 at 2:43 pm
  
  Beautiful, Michelle! your daughter sounds like a gem!
  
  Reply
Michelle on December 21, 2018 at 2:52 pm

I sent an email to a ministry to encourage them in what they’re doing.

Reply
Sarah Gusky Kemer on December 21, 2018 at 4:00 pm

I have to say — it’s sort of a relief to hear that even a strong, financially capable business-owning woman can have unexpected things come up that take actual juggling/struggle. It’s a good reminder that everything in life comes in waves/cycles/seasons. And that while being prepared is good, you really can’t prepare for every single thing that could possibly come your way. Let go — let God.

4. Where do you want to be when you’re 80? What will matter to you then and what won’t?
— I still come back to this thought of a “lived in” faith. It’s still so new to me (I’ll have been baptized 5 years in June!) and I find I still revert to old-old habits sometimes. I’d love to be in a place when I’m 80ish to just be fully living my faith every minute of every day.
— I also have been thinking about trauma and its affects in generations. I have a friend whose family has their issues, but BIG stuff (like what mine has historically been through, and my husband’s) isn’t there. We’re aiming for raising one more generation of non-abused kids (that would make 2 generations total, just 2) and I do dream when I’m 80 of having done a good enough job with that, that my great-grandkids don’t even know the stories. That they are so far removed from familial/historical trauma that they can create their own LOL. (Not really butI do dream of that freedom from familial issues for my progeny).

5. What’s one thing you most want to cultivate in 2019?
— My word for the year: Sustenance. I want to feel full, I want to know how to replenish without angst, I want to fill up my husband and my kids. I want to feel satisfied in all areas of my life (even if not all at once, because can you say “unicorn?!”)

6. What challenges did you experience in 2018, and what lessons did you learn from them?
— Small but persistent financial/dental things (tied together). Thank God these didn’t happen even 2 years ago. It would be decimated us. I am glad they happened this specific year.
— A HUGE period of growth for our kids, both physically (2 pant sizes, 2.5 shoe sizes IN ONE YEAR) and emotionally/mentally. It’s been a huge strain on us and we have had to pare down a TON. And every time we feel more capable another cycle starts. I need to stop being annoyed by this, and just lean into it.

7. Who helped you in 2018? Who are you grateful for? (Go tell them!)
— My husband, forever and always. We really had each other’s backs this year, a big one of growth. Indicative of this is our Christmas prep. What one of us forgot the other remembered, every time. It’s been a total, dual effort. Love that, love him.
— My kids, for as difficult as they’ve been this year they’ve been thricely awesome. So many more jokes, so much reading, so much discovery and imagination and figuring things out. It is astounding. It’s sort of like being able to experience the inner-workings of what their brains do their first year. It really feels like that same amount of growth (they are 6.5).
— My mom! We have gotten into the habit of talking every week and it’s really helped me put some things into perspective. And it’s a nice touchpoint to have. We feel more involved in each other’s lives and it’s easier to manage in the craziness because it’s scheduled.

Reply
- Sarah Gusky Kemer on December 21, 2018 at 4:01 pm
  
  OH MY WORD that is long, I’m so sorry!!
  
  Reply
- Lara on December 28, 2018 at 2:43 pm
  
  Grateful for you, as always, Sarah! : )
  
  Reply
Allison on December 21, 2018 at 4:32 pm

Step Four:
Mostly, I want to be a woman who loves God and loves people. I want to be a woman who is kind and thoughtful and selfless.

Step Five:
My faith, my faith, my faith. My relationship with Jesus is the most important thing about my life, and I’ve let it fall to the wayside. It’s an afterthought. It’s something I pay attention to when I feel like. Jesus is not currently my life, my passion, my all. This needs to change. This is the foundation of everything. Any other tweaks or changes I make would only be cosmetic, and, eventually, they would wash away. I need Jesus. I need Him. What else is there? My pastor said, “We want the kingdom, but we don’t want the king.” I think this was very true for me in 2018.

Step Six:
-Excessive time spent on social media.
-The lies I would tell myself that I’m not good enough or capable or smart or beautiful.
-I didn’t exercise like I wanted to.
-I didn’t prioritize spending time in the word.
-Sometime I would let the false stories I make up in my head take place of the good, true things that are real.
-My physical health was not great. I feel like I’ve been battling some small thing every week since February. I’ve never had anything seriously wrong with me, thank you Jesus, but the little things have been enough to throw me off track and make me feel discouraged.
I learned:
-I need to stop telling myself I’m weak and worthless. I am a daughter of God.
-I need to realize that the pain of staying where I am is greater than the pain of moving forward. Stagnant water is not healthy.
-The few times I pushed through I did the things I didn’t want to (getting up early, exercising) I was always glad I did. I just need to DO IT.

Step Seven:
My husband, my brother, my mom, my pastor, dear new friends I have made in this city I’m living in, and old friends that have stayed in touch with me from the city I left.

Reply
- Lara on December 28, 2018 at 2:43 pm
  
  “Kind and thoughtful and selfless” – sounds good to me! : )
  
  Reply
Gayle E Vehar on December 21, 2018 at 4:55 pm

Step 4:
When I am 80 I want to have given my all to be the daughter of my Heavenly Father I was meant to be. I want to have raised and loved my amazing family so that they can raise and love theirs. I want to have taught them about who they can look to when they need answers and divine inspiration for their lives. I want to have shared my talents and gifts with those around me in a way that blesses others in the way that God would if he was here.

Step 5:
I want to grow my financial self reliance to allow me to focus more on the above and less on the month to month living.

Step 6:
—difficult financial challenges
—big educational challenges for multiple children
—health challenges for me and the kids
—too much phone/social media time

Step 7:
My husband
My family
My amazing friend/boss
A few good friends and neighbors
My Heavenly Father and Savior

Reply
- Lara on December 28, 2018 at 2:43 pm
  
  Thank you so much for sharing, Gayle!
  
  Reply
Veronica Hoenecke on December 21, 2018 at 5:00 pm

4. Where do you want to be when you’re 80? What will matter to you then and what won’t?
-I want to be healthy and surrounded by a family that feels loved.

5. What’s one thing you most want to cultivate in 2019? Putting my family before my to-do list. I also want to cultivate contentment.

6. What challenges did you experience in 2018, and what lessons did you learn from them?
-I had a hard time staying committed to my well being. I stop working out regularly and eating poorly. Not only my body felt it, but my emotional health took a hit.
-Spending money as a coping mechanism is bringing only bad things and regret in my life.

7. Who helped you in 2018? Who are you grateful for? (Go tell them!)
-My husband – he is always a big support and anchor. He helps me clarify what is important in my life. Having deep conversation with him is my favorite thing to do.
-My friends
-My kids – they keep challenging me to grow, to be more flexible, to be present. And for all my ‘troubles’ I am always rewarded with the sweetest kisses and unconditional love. The best!!!!
-My kid’s preschool teacher – She is the woman that I want to grow to be! She is so patience and loving and fun!!!! So lucky she is in our lives!!!!

Reply
- Lara on December 28, 2018 at 2:44 pm
  
  Good teachers are such a blessing, Veronica!
  
  Reply
Jacquie on December 21, 2018 at 10:50 pm

4. When I’m 80…I want to really know Jesus well – know His word, His voice, His heart & thoughts
I want to be more in love with my husband
I want my kids to love Jesus wholeheartedly & be serving His Kingdom & raising their kids to love Jesus
I want to have been life-giving to my family, friends, neighbours & people in my community
I want to be as healthy & well in my body & soul as I can be
I want to have deep, meaningful, lasting friendships
I want to leave a legacy in people I have disciples, mentored, encouraged & impacted
I want to have an inheritance to give to my children & grandchildren after I pass away
I want to be joyful & to laugh easily
I don’t think I’ll care too much about possessions, social media, what other people think about me, TV shows, perfection, getting a lot done, or what my body looks like.

5. What’s one thing you most want to cultivate in 2019? My relationships.

6. What challenges did you experience in 2018, and what lessons did you learn from them? I have really struggled with going to bed at a decent time and getting the amount of rest that my body needs. I am fatigued and low on energy, which has affected my ability to get up early in the morning to spend time with God the way I would like to. This is something I need to make a priority in the next year & I will need help & accountability to make it happen.

7. Who helped you in 2018? Who are you grateful for? My husband & kids. My parents. My friends – old ones & new ones.

Reply
- Lara on December 28, 2018 at 2:44 pm
  
  So glad you’re here, Jacquie!
  
  Reply
Emily McHenry on December 21, 2018 at 11:08 pm

4. Where do you want to be when you’re 80? What will matter to you then and what won’t?
– Oh man, so many things…I want to have been and still be a “woman of valor” (see Rachel Held Evans!): to have lived life to the fullest, used my gifts well and poured love over the people most dear to me, as well as the hurts of this world near to God’s/my heart. I hope at 80 I’m still learning and growing in my faith! My dream is to have been a loving wife, a faithful steward of our beautiful children and their faith, a loyal friend, a passionate advocate for others. In short, I want to have been someone of depth who followed the Lord and loved well.
-Ugh. How clean the house was, how much stuff we had, and what other people thought of our choices as a family just won’t matter.

5. What’s one thing you most want to cultivate in 2019?
– This year I’m hoping to lean into the practice of self-discipline: in my faith, in our homeschool routine, in our family’s nutrition, in my sleep choices – it truly touches so many areas!

6. What challenges did you experience in 2018, and what lessons did you learn from them?
– Our first year homeschooling effort started off strong but petered off toward November! I learned that we need to decide on a consistent place/time and a practical plan for covering all the content.
– I had a really hard time engaging in faith practices that have worked for me in the past (reading plans, Bible studies, journaling): I learned that it’s more important to engage in spiritual practices that work in this season (prayer walks/jogs, write the word, spiritual direction) than to try to force others to fit because they sound “right”.

7. Who helped you in 2018? Who are you grateful for? (Go tell them!)
– I LOVE this question!!
– My wonderful husband – he’s the fun to all of my organized, uptight, seriousness, haha, and has given me so much freedom to explore what gives me life in this season of young motherhood.
– My trail running mentor – she’s the best mix of feisty and encouraging! She’s gotten me over mountains and across finish lines. She dreams for me in ways I don’t often allow myself and makes it feel possible.
– My spiritual director – this woman has been such an incredible balm for my soul I could cry.
– My women’s smallgroup – these dear, dear friends have been through thick and thin with me; we laugh together, challenge one another, hold each other up in prayer. It’s like having 9 bonus sisters I didn’t know I needed but God did.

Reply
- Lara on December 28, 2018 at 2:44 pm
  
  Sounds like you have a fabulous tribe around you, Emily!
  
  Reply
Amy Bain on December 22, 2018 at 1:29 am

When I’m 80, I want to be fit and living in my passion with my children and grandchildren all around. One thing I want to cultivate in 2019 is giving myself permission to so what refreshes my soul. What I’ve learned from 2018 is that I can’t make my loved ones life perfect and painfree. I sent a note to a new friend who has walked a similar journey and has been such an encouragement to me this year in my healing.

Reply
- Lara on December 28, 2018 at 2:45 pm
  
  Beautiful, Amy!
  
  Reply
Daryl Morris on December 22, 2018 at 3:57 pm

At my work, we come up with SMART goals all the time. I’m surrounded by SMART goals. Starting with the Heart element, (the why do I want to do this) makes personal goals seem instantly more important…or viewed completely different.

Reply
- Lara on December 28, 2018 at 2:45 pm
  
  So glad to hear it, Daryl!!
  
  Reply
Mandi Palmer on December 22, 2018 at 6:34 pm

4. Where do you want to be when you’re 80? What will matter to you then and what won’t?

My health and my kiddos! I want to feel energetic and be as healthy as humanly possible! I want to run around with my great grandkids and join in all the fun! I want my kiddos to be firm believers in Jesus Christ and I want to know their final destination will be with me in heaven.

5. What’s one thing you most want to cultivate in 2019?

JOY! I want to let go of this anxiety I create by replacing it with faith! Faith over fear!

6. What challenges did you experience in 2018, and what lessons did you learn from them?

The biggest challenge I had this year came from not trusting God to fulfill His promises to me. It creates anxiety and fear and it takes my joy. I’ve learned to trust that God knows what’s best for me.

7. Who helped you in 2018? Who are you grateful for? (Go tell them!)

I am unbelievably grateful for my mother-in-law! She watches my kiddos for me, and picks up my son from pre-K. She loves selflessly and is truly a great person.

I am thankful for my husband. He is a fantastic partner to do life with. He makes us a priority and loves us fiercely.

I am also thankful for my friends. I have a wonderful support system and they lift me up daily.

Optional bonus step: get visual and make your 2019 vision board!

I LOVE pinterest, and this board is already started! ❤

Reply
- Lara on December 28, 2018 at 2:45 pm
  
  Can’t wait to see your board, Mandi!
  
  Reply
Sheila on December 22, 2018 at 9:19 pm

Warning – this is a bit long…

4. Where do you want to be when you’re 80? What will matter to you then and what won’t?

When I’m 80, I’m hoping I’ll be healthy enough to enjoy spending time with family and friends. I hope to be able to attend my great-nieces and great-nephew’s high school & college graduations, Weddings and maybe even the baptism of their kids – with both financial and health that allows for this.

5. What’s one thing you most want to cultivate in 2019?

HEALTH – physical, spiritual, mental and financial. If I have to focus on one of those, right now it would be physical health – weight loss, better A1C (“success test” for Type 1 diabetes – average blood sugar for past 3 months), Strength, ability to exercise so that I can run & play with my great-n-kids (great nieces and nephews).

6. What challenges did you experience in 2018, and what lessons did you learn from them?

Health was a big challenge – for half the year, I worked from home because of meds I had to take that were highly sedating (luckily my employer allowed this). Through this health issue, I’ve learned to try to be patient with myself – since I have to do things more slowly or not at all (like hopping in the car to go somewhere on a whim). I am struggling with – but slowly accepting – help from others as well.

Work itself was a challenge – one co-worker I just can’t connect with – and a few times I was “short” with him during meetings. A few weeks ago I started praying for assistance dealing with this person – which may be helping some.

7. Who helped you in 2018? Who are you grateful for? (Go tell them!)

My health-care team – including the doctors at Mayo Rochester and the local doctors that are now helping me with the plan developed at Mayo. Even more important to me are the non-doctor members of my health-care team – a therapist/life coach that has helped me deal with the mental problems both from the health problems and the co-worker issue.

My long-term friends – one who just started working at my employer so we’ve been touching base via IM a few times a week. Two that I worked with until they retired – both of which accept my lack of “friendship” contact that can go for weeks without saying HI or checking in on them. And a few people at the non-profit where I volunteer – who are helping in their own way with some of my health issues – by raising money for research – as well as providing personal connections that help make the day-to-day easier.

My family – my 84-year old Mom who has always been in my corner and is always there when I need someone to talk to, my sisters – who I can always connect to when I need to make sure my choices (health, work, etc) are in my best interest, my brother & brother-in-laws who are always willing to give me advice on home-needs or actually come over to take care of some of them. My nieces and nephews who make me feel needed and a part of their families – and, of whom, I am EXTREMELY proud. And my great-nieces and nephews who remind me every time I see them that sometimes in life – you just need to play and have fun.

Reply
- Lara on December 28, 2018 at 2:45 pm
  
  Thank you so much for sharing, Sheila!
  
  Reply
Shianne Mattox on December 23, 2018 at 10:20 am

At 90, I want to have given beauty and love that lasts to others. Enduring, generous faithfulness, that bears goodness, deep joy and hope to those around me. The details of how and where my loved ones and I spent time together will not have mattered as much as the fullness of our presence, our honoring one another, and encouraging one another and responding to needs.
I want to cultivate times of restful connection in 2019. Not packed out days where we’re all just rushing about.
We stopped the church plant we’ve been a part of this year and there were many challenges along the way. As a mom, letting being tired or distracted keep me from engaging with my children, especially when they are whining or misbehaving. I can’t choose the path of least resistance with them, they need so much more! A lesson in parenting I am learning is to look to Jesus and what he’s asking me to do as a parent rather than looking to my kids and pressuring them to make me feel like a good parent.
My husband plays the biggest role in helping us cultivate our lives and I am so thankful, but there are also some wonderful friends who have brought so much meaning to our lives this year as we shared hard and beautiful things together.

Reply
- Lara on December 28, 2018 at 2:46 pm
  
  Thank you so much for sharing, Shianne!
  
  Reply
Cathy Misere on December 24, 2018 at 11:03 am

Where do you want to be when you’re 80? What will matter to you then and what won’t?

At 80, I want to have lived my life in a way that God will say: ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!. I want to be surrounded by a loving family with my husband, kids and grandkids, my sister and her family. I want to have left a strong spiritual legacy to them. I want to be strong and healthy. My relationship with God, my family and my community will matter most.

What’s one thing you most want to cultivate in 2019?
Perseverance. Being persistent and committed. Demonstrate faithfulness despite obstacles and setbacks. Be courageous and strong.

What challenges did you experience in 2018, and what lessons did you learn from them?

Disobedience and spiritual passivity have hindered my walk in 2018. I learned that perseverance is key; complacency is not an option during this journey.

Who helped you in 2018?
My sister Rachel
My Mom and Dad
My auntie Mirlande
A few special friends

Reply
- Lara on December 28, 2018 at 2:46 pm
  
  Amen, Cathy!
  
  Reply
Jessica on December 24, 2018 at 12:01 pm

4. When I’m 80, I want to be around my family, and I want my now young boys to be close to one another. I want to still be dating my husband and growing in our love for one another. I want to be able to help those around us, spreading truth and love. I want to be content, joyful, fun, hospital, wise and energetic. I want to be like the Proverbs 31 woman.

5. I also want to cultivate my health in 2019. I have all kinds of knowledge and tools, and I need to make the time and space to take care of my body the way I want to.

6. In 2018, I totally lost touch with my kitchen and homekeeping routines because of a new job. I didn’t see my friends or write notes or Christmas cards. I didn’t spend as much quality time with my family as I wanted. The garden wasn’t what I had hoped.

7. Who helped me in 2018? My husband, my children, my parents, my new boss, a new unlikely friend, my boys’ first public school teachers.

Reply
- Lara on December 28, 2018 at 2:46 pm
  
  Thank you so much for sharing, Jessica!
  
  Reply
Sarah on December 26, 2018 at 12:05 pm

Lessons from the year: prayer changes things, it is ok to ask for help, my worth can only be found in Him.
I’m so very grateful for my sisters! They offer so much support and encouragement!

Reply
- Lara on December 26, 2018 at 12:09 pm
  
  Yes! So good, Sarah!
  
  Reply
Terri Steffes on December 26, 2018 at 2:47 pm

Lessons for 2018: I can conquer sugar (lost 50 lbs last year!) that I choose my work schedule, and my health is up to me, I can do wonders when I follow my doctor’s orders! My boss Ginny and my husband Bob have been so encouraging and supportive. At 80 I want to be debt free, healthy, walking all over this earth, and have an alert mind.

Reply
- Lara on December 28, 2018 at 2:47 pm
  
  Yes!! Thanks for sharing, Terri!
  
  Reply
Kori M. on December 26, 2018 at 4:07 pm

4. Where do you want to be when you’re 80?

Joyful , Jesus loving lady who loved her life and is a happy wife and proud mother. My want people to look back at me and say she was the nicest, happiest , Jesus loving, photo memories last.

5. What’s one thing you most want to cultivate in 2019?

* Health and Wellness

6. What challenges did you experience in 2018, and what lessons did you learn from them?

2018 was a hard year with lots of struggles but it all was not bad.
Biggest challenge being diignosed with disabiltating hemiplegic migraines. What I learned : to trust your own body and speak up for myself. I went ten months being bounced around saying it was in my head when it was actually a real health thing going in that lead to other issues.

7. Who helped you in 2018? Who are you grateful for?
Family ( who opened home to me and daughter she to f
Sickness)
Will
Amanda
And Golds glorious grace

Reply
- Lara on January 4, 2019 at 3:03 pm
  
  Being remembered as the “nicest” sounds so simple, but that would be huge!
  
  Reply
Kori m on December 26, 2018 at 4:09 pm

4. Where do you want to be when you’re 80?

Joyful , Jesus loving lady who loved her life and is a happy wife and proud mother. My want people to look back at me and say she was the nicest, happiest , Jesus loving, photo memories last.

5. What’s one thing you most want to cultivate in 2019?

* Health and Wellness

6. What challenges did you experience in 2018, and what lessons did you learn from them?

2018 was a hard year with lots of struggles but it all was not bad.
Biggest challenge being diignosed with disabiltating hemiplegic migraines. What I learned : to trust your own body and speak up for myself. I went ten months being bounced around saying it was in my head when it was actually a real health thing going in that lead to other issues.

7. Who helped you in 2018? Who are you grateful for?
Family ( who opened home to me and daughter she to f
Sickness)
Will
Amanda
And Golds glorious grace

Reply
Kori on December 26, 2018 at 4:09 pm

4. Where do you want to be when you’re 80?

Joyful , Jesus loving lady who loved her life and is a happy wife and proud mother. My want people to look back at me and say she was the nicest, happiest , Jesus loving, photo memories last.

5. What’s one thing you most want to cultivate in 2019?

* Health and Wellness

6. What challenges did you experience in 2018, and what lessons did you learn from them?

2018 was a hard year with lots of struggles but it all was not bad.
Biggest challenge being diignosed with disabiltating hemiplegic migraines. What I learned : to trust your own body and speak up for myself. I went ten months being bounced around saying it was in my head when it was actually a real health thing going in that lead to other issues.

7. Who helped you in 2018? Who are you grateful for?
Family ( who opened home to me and daughter she to f
Sickness)
Will
Amanda
And Golds glorious grace

Reply
Kori Matteson on December 26, 2018 at 4:16 pm

4. Where do you want to be when you’re 80?

Joyful , Jesus loving lady who loved her life and is a happy wife and proud mother. My want people to look back at me and say she was the nicest, happiest , Jesus loving, photo memories last.

5. What’s one thing you most want to cultivate in 2019?

* Health and Wellness

6. What challenges did you experience in 2018, and what lessons did you learn from them?

2018 was a hard year with lots of struggles but it all was not bad.
Biggest challenge being diignosed with disabiltating hemiplegic migraines. What I learned : to trust your own body and speak up for myself. I went ten months being bounced around saying it was in my head when it was actually a real health thing going in that lead to other issues.

7. Who helped you in 2018? Who are you grateful for?
Family ( who opened home to me and daughter she to f
Sickness)
Will
Amanda
And Gods glorious grace

Reply
Sara S. on December 26, 2018 at 5:43 pm

4. Where do you want to be when you’re 80? What will matter to you then and what won’t?
I want to be a woman full of wisdom and faith that passes on my legacy to my kids, grandkids, great grandkids, etc.
What will matter to me is people, God and his will, my family, that I chose to stay connected and that I was intentional. What won’t matter is how well known I am, stuff, what the world says matters or what they say about me and tv (my big weakness!).

5. What’s one thing you most want to cultivate in 2019?
Creating a peaceful and safe (as in emotionally able to connect) home, relationally and aesthetically. Want to work on being better at respecting my children as humans instead of people to be ordered around. We’ve been in survival mode for too long and I need to work on not yelling and connecting with my kids better. Another part of that is only having the items we actually use and enjoy.

6. What challenges did you experience in 2018, and what lessons did you learn from them?
Continued health struggles. I learned that I am responsible for my choices regarding how I take care of myself and if I want to see changes there is no one but me that can choose to take those steps. Also, spend money on your health. This was the most transformative thing I learned. When money was tight and we made these choices God always showed up financially. I kept putting it off for years and that was what led to being so ill. Now I know we just need to make the investment otherwise it will just get worse.

7. Who helped you in 2018? Who are you grateful for? (Go tell them!)
My husband, he is so supportive, especially these last few yeas as I’ve been struggling very badly. He is my rock.
Two of my close friends, Jackie and Mickey. I would have lost my mind a long time ago if not for their love and support.
Our church, we literally would not have a car right now if it were not for them.

Reply
- Lara on December 28, 2018 at 2:47 pm
  
  Love your thoughts on your challenges, Sara!
  
  Reply
Kat H on December 26, 2018 at 8:20 pm

2018 in a nutshell: putting Christ at the center of my life allows everything else to fall into place, if things truly don’t matter to me they won’t happen (and that’s okay!), sometimes my life or plan is derailed to make room for better or more important things, idleness doesn’t yield much of anything.

Reply
- Lara on December 28, 2018 at 2:47 pm
  
  Amen!
  
  Reply
Justina on December 26, 2018 at 9:31 pm

4. When I am 80, I want to know that I have loved, cherished and taught my children well. I want to be able to walk, jump, and run as I please because I have taken good care of my body! I want to be financially able meaning I don’t have to turn things down because I cant afford it.

5. In 2019, the most thing I want to cultivate is my Family. I would like to establish family traditions and things we only do as a family.

6. The biggest challenge I experienced in 2018 was being pregnant and giving birth to my son. It was a rough 9 months but the Lord drew close to me. I learned to trust even when everything around me said otherwise. I KNEW that God was with me even when it didn’t feel like it. And I learned that it was ok to not be ok because at the end of the day, He was going to work it out.

7. I am grateful for my husband. He has been my greatest friend and strength! I don’t know what I would do without him. He truly is a demonstration of God’s love!

Reply
- Lara on December 28, 2018 at 2:47 pm
  
  Love it, Justina!
  
  Reply
Sharolyn on December 27, 2018 at 8:00 am

4. Where do you want to be when you’re 80? What will matter to you then and what won’t?

When I’m 80 I hope to still be living on my own, have “enough” financially to be independent and still be able to bless others in little ways and be able to be a blessing to my children and any grandchildren I am blessed with. I hope to be a source of peace and hope and encouragement to any and all I meet.

5. What’s one thing you most want to cultivate in 2019?

Well, I was going to say a de-cluttered house, which I DO hope to tackle this year, but probably more important is a calm, trusting spirit that lays all at the feet of Jesus each day. I want to cultivate hope and joy.

6. What challenges did you experience in 2018, and what lessons did you learn from them?

Probably my biggest challenge was with attitude/perspective. Not just mine but of others as well. How we view our circumstansces and those around us severely impacts how we respond or choose to engage (or not engage). I learned that choosing grace, forgiveness and positive action over fear, defensiveness or fatalistic thinking can make a huge difference in small ways.

7. Who helped you in 2018? Who are you grateful for? (Go tell them!)
God placed some good friends around me to speak grace and compassion when I was discouraged.. He also gave me a hugely supportive and loving husband.

Reply
- Lara on December 28, 2018 at 2:48 pm
  
  The connection between a clutter-free space and a clutter-free heart can be strong! Cheering you on!
  
  Reply
Grace on December 27, 2018 at 9:01 am

I to be sitting on my front porch looking back on the life that Jesus gave to me – the good and the bad – and to be unbelievably grateful for what He has done. I want to have passed on a legacy (along with my husband) of kindness, thoughtfulness and intentionality on to my children. I don’t want to be owned by my stuff – I want to have a simplified home that will not be a burden to others once I am gone. I want to have been a good steward of my money so I can be generous with it at 80.

I want to find my faith in Jesus again. Other parts of my life are struggling because of it.

2018 has been a hard year – seemingly one thing after another (I know I’m not the only one here!). Health issues for myself and for dear friends and family members seem bigger and scarier when I don’t have my faith to fall back on. I feel like I’m learning what I already knew – that this life is nothing without faith.

I can’t fully explain how thankful I am for the community God has given me – I can feel lonely if I want to, but it’s clear that God has given me people. It’s up to me to say “yes!” to that community. My husband, my mother, my church family… I am just so thankful.

Reply
- Lara on December 28, 2018 at 2:48 pm
  
  Such a beautiful picture of life at 80, Grace!
  
  Reply
Hillary on December 27, 2018 at 12:27 pm

4. Where do you want to be when you’re 80? What will matter to you then and what won’t? | I want to be able to say that I’m enjoying a full, free life. That I pursued what was good and holy even if it was not easy or popular. That I laid down battles that were not mine to fight, and that instead I embraced time with the people who matter the most!

5. What’s one thing you most want to cultivate in 2019? | A healthy mindset, free from anxiety, not prone to chasing worthless worries!

6. What challenges did you experience in 2018, and what lessons did you learn from them? |
Challenges: ANXIETY, perfectionism, COMPARISON, sleepless nights with a newborn, getting out of my own head!, competition
Lessons:
*It doesn’t matter what other people are doing or what they think.
*It matters to live by your values and find balance in the everyday.
*Gratitude turns what you have into enough!

7. Who helped you in 2018?
*My husband <3
*My mom, having the chance to love on her first grandbaby
*In-laws and sister-in-law
*A community of moms who reassured me that I wasn't as crazy as I thought I was about all things motherhood!

Reply
- Lara on December 28, 2018 at 2:48 pm
  
  Good and holy = yes!
  
  Reply
Kinsey on December 27, 2018 at 1:49 pm

4. I want to be healthy and happily married to my husband, more in love than ever before! I want to be plugged into my local church and still serving however I can. I want to be generous with what the Lord has given me and hospitable in everything!

5. In 2019 I want to cultivate hospitality.

6. I struggled to stick to a schedule, to follow through on things I wanted to do. But I learned that time together is really the best way to celebrate anything, that some friends are genuinely life-long, and that the people I work with trust me even more than I sometimes trust myself.

7. I’m super grateful for my co-workers in 2018, as well as a few dear friends and my husband.

Reply
- Lara on December 28, 2018 at 2:49 pm
  
  Such a blessing to have wonderful coworkers, Kinsey! : )
  
  Reply
ASHLEY E on December 27, 2018 at 5:10 pm

4. Where do you want to be when you’re 80? What will matter to you then and what won’t? I want to be like my grandparents – strong, surrounded by family, and full of love and life to give. I want to have a family that reaches far beyond our own, and to look back and have loved well. To have loved with true selfless love. I want to be alive and not cripple by pain.

5. What’s one thing you most want to cultivate in 2019? I want to really cultivate doing things intentionally and not making excuses! I have a bad habit of changing my schedule for the urgent and forgoing on the important and I don’t want that to continue. I want to choose the things like my health and family and God that will get me to 80 being a youthful joyful believer!!

6. What challenges did you experience in 2018, and what lessons did you learn from them? I felt lonely a lot, and isolated. I felt that my disease defined me and gave me a good reason to try for less. But I’ve learned that with some words of encouragement from dear friends that I am not alone, I am prayed for and cared for a loved. And I have people who see me so much more than my disease and I want to live unencumbered by it! I’ve learned that I NEED people to encourage me, and I NEED to take care of myself if I’m ever gonna make it through life the way I want to.

7. Who helped you in 2018? Who are you grateful for? (Go tell them!) My husband and a good cohort of friends for love me for me and encourage and follow-up with me! And a dear priest who asked me who it was I felt like I was lying to that started everything changing for the better when I found my problem was with people and not the God who knew and loved my soul, mess and all!

Reply
- Lara on December 28, 2018 at 2:49 pm
  
  Thank you so much for sharing, Ashley!
  
  Reply
Merryn Foster on December 28, 2018 at 12:50 am

4. When I’m 80 I want to know that I trusted God, had served him well using my days well for his kingdom and his glory. That I had, to the best of my ability, loved, nurtured, disciplined and trained my girls well to know God, love him and live life for him alone.
5. What do I want to cultivate? A deeper trust in God through all of life’s (especially parenting!) ups and downs. Less fear and more peace!
6. 2018 challenges: being consistent and confident in how I raise my girls, letting fear and shame too often rule in my heart and determine my actions. Lessons learnt: 1. I need to let go and trust God more! 2. I need to keep extending Grace to myself. 3. See lesson no. 1 😉
7. So grateful to my husband, my small group bible study ladies, my in-laws and my girls!

Reply
- Lara on December 28, 2018 at 2:49 pm
  
  Sounds like you have some amazing people around you, Merryn!
  
  Reply
Brittany on December 28, 2018 at 7:35 am

My challenges have to do with stress–the kind that can’t be removed. I’ve got 4 young children and live in a remote area involved in ministry. So I’m challenged with and learning about managing my stress and accepting my imperfections. I feel like this next year is about letting go of my anger when things don’t go the way I want/expect them to, and finding joy in the mundane or hard things.

Reply
- Lara on December 28, 2018 at 2:50 pm
  
  If you make progress on that, Brittany, it sounds like 2019 will be an amazing year for you!
  
  Reply
Laura A on December 28, 2018 at 10:09 am

4. Where do you want to be when you’re 80? What will matter to you then and what won’t? I want to be a woman of faith who mentors younger women. I want to have a good relationship with my children/grandchildren. I want to be financially secure so we can give more/enjoy new things. I want to be healthy enough to really be present in our kids/grandkids’ lives. As far as what won’t matter, I’m pretty sure it won’t matter if my house is cluttered or if I’m a few lbs overweight.

5. What’s one thing you most want to cultivate in 2019? I NEED to cultivate my health. As well as purposeful and intentional parenting my kiddos. And connecting with my husband, I need to invest more in our relationship.

6. What challenges did you experience in 2018, and what lessons did you learn from them? I’ve encountered challenges of failure and getting bogged down in the mire of negative feelings about myself. I’ve learned I can’t go it on my own, I need accountability and encouragement for my goals.

7. Who helped you in 2018? Who are you grateful for? (Go tell them!) My husband! He is my biggest cheerleader.

Reply
- Lara on December 28, 2018 at 2:50 pm
  
  We’re here to cheer you on, Laura!!
  
  Reply
Katie @ A Place to Dwell on December 28, 2018 at 11:09 am

I think what I most want to cultivate in 2019 is stronger relationships (God, family, friends, coworkers, etc.). The first few months of the new year will be focused on lots of self care and family, as we grieve the recent unexpected loss of my dad. I want to love people well in this next year and build stronger connections.

Here are a few of the lessons I learned in 2018:

You will never regret making time to be with loved ones; investing our time to build our relationships is one of the best investments we can make

God’s plans are greater, better, and more purposeful than any timeline we set for ourselves (or that society tries to set for us)

Strength training has benefited me in all areas: spiritually, physically, mentally

I want to date from a place of hope and trust in the Lord, and not from a place of striving, fear, or frustration

Being disorganized leads to unnecessary stress and distracts me from more important things

God was restoring me and my trust in Him this year

Stepping outside of my comfort zone leads to fresh perspectives, new opportunities, and fruitfulness in my life

Reply
- Lara on December 28, 2018 at 2:50 pm
  
  So grateful you’re here, Katie!
  
  Reply
Amanda on December 28, 2018 at 3:29 pm

I think the challenge for me this year was grief. But the beautiful thing that came out of my grief was that I learned better how to serve others in their grief and I was able to put it into practical action when others experienced grief.

When I am 80, I want to say that I loved God, my family, and I tried my hardest to be the saint God calls me to be through my prayers and through my actions. I know I have my weaknesses and I will never be perfect but I want to know I have lived a life for God instead of for myself.

One thing I want to cultivate is silence or perhaps, the habit of MORE silence. The fruit of silence is prayer and I could definitely up my prayer game lately. I just need longer, sustained periods of silence to hear God speaking.

I am grateful for my Dad because even though he passed away this year, I am grateful he gave so much of himself and showed me how to love others and love God.

Reply
- Lara on January 4, 2019 at 3:04 pm
  
  What a lesson to learn, Amanda. I’m grateful for you!
  
  Reply
Jess Hall on December 28, 2018 at 4:21 pm

When I’m 80, I want to be loving on my people, making them laugh around my table. I want to rock on the front porch with Zach’s hand in mine, with a good book and cup of tea beside me — it can wait until later. I want to continue helping and speaking up for those who need it. I want to be the old lady gabbing on the phone (or whatever crazy device will exist then) with my best friend about something I saw that day. I want to not take myself too seriously, because what’s the fun in that? Laughter is better by a long mile. And lastly, I want to make whatever space I have a place where people love to gather and swap stories and share good food.

I want to cultivate GRATITUDE in 2019. I lost sight of it in 2018, and I know how much it can change my perspective.

Challenges I experienced:
– Continually falling off the wagon for my fitness routine
– Recovering from debt and patterns of overspending
– Overcommitting/overscheduling
– Time management at work (I was doing 2 jobs)
– Can’t seem to stick to a morning routine to save my life
– Feeling isolated for the first part of the year

I learned some incredible lessons from these challenges — mainly that I need to figure out a way to stick to my guns to actually meet my goals (like abandoning that chase for perfection)! I also looked around and realized I wasn’t alone, and that was so life-giving.

Perfect transition — I have so many people I’m grateful for. Obviously, my husband Zach. He supports me in anything I set out to do. My mom is a rockstar and was the most wonderful listener and encourager while I was sorting things out. My dad was a constant source of love and strength. My in-laws surrounded us in prayer like warriors. My friends were there to say “me too” and hold my hand while I cried. I am so blessed by all the people who held my arms up this year. I can’t wait to tell them 🙂

Reply
- Lara on January 4, 2019 at 3:05 pm
  
  I’m so glad you were able to learn some incredible lessons from your challenges, Jess! They can be the best teachers!
  
  Reply
Amber on December 28, 2018 at 11:20 pm

4. Where do I want to be when I’m 80? I really want to look back and see that I cultivated RELATIONSHIPS over tasks. I’m a task-oriented person which can be wonderfully helpful at times, but I have the tendency to miss important moments with people due to false urgency. I love Henry Nouwen’s quote: “I used to complain about all the interruptions to my work until I realized that these interruptions were my work.” I want to pour into my relationship with God first and look back to see that I followed where he led. I want to pour into my family second, as an outworking of God’s work in me.
5. What’s one thing you want to cultivate in the year ahead? I’m hoping to cultivate a deeper relationship with God this year, so that I can be in tune with him as I navigate difficulties at work. I’m looking forward to changing my mindset to appreciate the process: the hand-in-hand journey with God through the difficulties, not around them.
6. Name a few challenges from 2018 and lessons I learned from them: We had a couple back-to-back deaths in our extended family which took a heavy toll on us. Through this time period, we learned the importance of rest in order to fully enter the grieving process. I really struggled at work this year with some unexpected curveballs that drained a great deal of energy and time. I am still learning that God is there, and that he has entrusted me with my position in order to fulfill his purpose there. I’m learning to change my mindset. I got into a car accident this year, which set me back physically and a bit financially as well. I learned how to trust in the Lord with some of the trauma afterwards, and how to be grateful for all that we were spared in the midst of the accident (no one was killed, our injuries healed without permanent damage, we were able to purchase a new car, etc.).
7. Who helped you live intentionally and grow good things in 2108? My husband is a huge support for me! He is very wise and is a great listener who loves the Lord! My mother and father are a huge part of my life. They are such wonderful examples for me to follow. They are very authentic in their walk with the Lord, which helps me learn alongside them! I’m so grateful for their example that it’s ok to struggle! That it’s important to struggle! That life is struggle, but that God’s grace overcomes!
Extra: Pinterest board: https://www.pinterest.com/amberrmcclurg/cultivate-my-best-year/

Reply
- Lara on January 4, 2019 at 3:05 pm
  
  Relationships over tasks = so good! Thank you for sharing, Amber!
  
  Reply
Mari Miranda on December 29, 2018 at 2:28 am

4. Where do you want to be when you’re 80? What will matter to you then and what won’t?

I want to be by my husband’s side, and at the feet of Jesus. I want to be able to look back and see a life full of love, laughter and peace. A legacy of faithfulness in our finances, our faith and our relationships. To have left a firm foundation for our children – a life chock full of memories that warm our hearts. Family traditions, shared moments, emotional security. For my children to have had the opportunity, time and again, to know Christ through us.

5. What’s one thing you most want to cultivate in 2019?Hope.

6. What challenges did you experience in 2018, and what lessons did you learn from them?

I made several really tough decisions and took some risks that I hadn’t anticipated. The sequence of events that followed have been both freeing and crushing at the same time, and through it all I’m learning to cling to God in freedom. I’m also learning that though bad things have happened in the past, that doesn’t mean they have to continue happening.

7. Who helped you in 2018? Who are you grateful for? (Go tell them!)

I am grateful for my coworkers, and for two friends in particular who have really been there for me through this tough season. Praise God for good community!

Extra: https://www.pinterest.com/farfallafallena/2019-vision-board/

Reply
- Lara on January 4, 2019 at 3:05 pm
  
  Your board is lovely, Mari!
  
  Reply
Kylie on December 29, 2018 at 3:22 am

4) When I am 80, I want to be radiating Jesus’ love to those around me 🙂 I want to know His Word well. I want to love my children well, disciple them, train them, and be an example of the Gospel to them so that they KNOW God’s love through me. (I loved what you wrote about this Lara…I could have written your exact words, it made me tear up! Love your heart about this 🙂

5) One thing I want to cultivate in 2019–consistent time with the Lord (in the Word and prayer).

6) We had some health challenges this year (not in our control), some challenges with finances, and personally, I struggled with not having enough quiet time/rest (and then I would reach for distraction when tired).

7) So many that I am grateful for this year! I am grateful for my mom, my husband, my sweet kiddos, and Sally Clarkson! 🙂 She has inspired and encouraged me so much in intentional motherhood this year, and in my relationship with the Lord.

Reply
- Lara on January 4, 2019 at 3:06 pm
  
  Beautiful, Kylie!
  
  Reply
Valentina on December 29, 2018 at 12:00 pm

Step 4: When I am 80 I want to know that I made a difference in people’s lives, that I gave my all to my kids and that I was a good witness of God’s Love. I want to be living my beloved husband at our cottage, working our garden and welcoming loved one and strangers to our home.

Step 5: I want to keep cultivating my health, by continuing to grow strong through fitness, IF and drinking my water everyday.

Step 6: My biggest challenge was to place all my hope and trust in the Lord. To trust my babies’ future to Him alone. To open my heart to understand that He loves my kids more than I do, and has a Divine plan for them. And to accept whatever the outcomes would be.
Step 7: I have had such a sweet response to this exercise. Lara, I’ve experienced a deepening in relationships and made new friends. I was overwhelmed by the love and prayers that poured in for my kids.

My pinterest vision board was so helpful to narrow down my 2019 goals. And it continues to be a source of inspiration and confirmation.

Reply
- Lara on January 4, 2019 at 3:06 pm
  
  I’m so glad a Pinterest board was helpful for you, Valentina! I always enjoy creating one!
  
  Reply
Dory on December 29, 2018 at 1:49 pm

4. I want to look back, knowing that I have cultivated the gifts God has given me to cultivate, and to have loved the people God has put in my path.

5. A focused lifestyle.

6. I noticed that not taking the time to take a breath, pray, and write down my thoughts took away much of my inner peace and focus.

7. My husband, who would always challenge and support me.

Reply
- Lara on January 4, 2019 at 3:06 pm
  
  Thank you so much for sharing, Dory!
  
  Reply
Rayah on December 29, 2018 at 5:06 pm

Step 4: I want to leave a healthy lifestyle while tending & providing for my family and spending quality time with them. I want to teach my children the importance of kindness & spread the message of loving self and loving others. I want to be able to fully cater to my husband. I want to be a positive impact in the world and touch countless lives, 1 heart at a time. I want to whole heartedly submit the Lord and fearlessly live the life he has called me to.

Step 5: Emotional Independence.

Step 6: Distractions, Uncertainty, Fear, Worry, People pleasing, Covering up and Unhealthy decisions stole my joy and inner peace..

Step 7: Grateful for my family, My amazing partner, my host family and all the friends & family I made along the way.!!!!!

Reply
- Lara on January 4, 2019 at 3:06 pm
  
  Teaching our children the importance of kindness – there’s almost nothing more important!
  
  Reply
Sarra on December 29, 2018 at 5:44 pm

4. I want to have strong, healthy relationships with my family. I want to be healthy and active and part of my community. I want to be a servant, still excited about serving the Lord.

5. I want to cultivate healthy relationships between me and my kids and between the 3 of them. I want them to be each other’s biggest fan and serve one another willingly and with love.

6. I noticed we were over scheduled during certain seasons. I had some hormonal health challenges. I spent too ,u h time/energy serving others and leaving my family with whatever was left over.

7. Lots of friends/family pouring into me in various ways. Super grateful for each of them and what they bring to my life.

Reply
- Lara on January 4, 2019 at 3:07 pm
  
  Beautiful, Sarra! Thank you for sharing!
  
  Reply
Ezinne on December 30, 2018 at 7:50 am

Step 4
Where do I want be when I’m 80?

I want my children to remember the time I spent with them, the warmth they felt at home and how they experienced Christ through me. I want to leave a legacy that screams of ‘audacious faith’ – it maybe the women I mentor or the foundation my family sets up but at the center of it all is – she lived through Christ.

Step 5: What’s one thing you want to cultivate in the year ahead?
I want to cultivate the art of living fearlessly through AUDACIOUS FAITH

Step 6: What challenges did you experience in 2018, and what lessons did you learn from them?
– For me, it was learning to let go, to strip myself of self and then lean into God. I have learnt that on my own that I am nothing until I lean into God. Spending the time in the word has been non-negotiable.

Step 7: Who helped you in 2018? Who are you grateful for?
– Husband
– My mum
– Ijeoma
– RLC
– Chichi E
– Chichi
– Feyi
– Purejoie
– My Village
– Uju
– Ogadi

Reply
- Lara on January 4, 2019 at 3:07 pm
  
  ” A legacy that screams of audacious faith” – so amazing!
  
  Reply
Amanda on December 30, 2018 at 9:36 am

Today’s work was hard. I have no idea what half of my challenges taught or were suppose to teach me. Those same challenges tie directly to the things I am finding most difficult to cultivate (an ongoing issue). The only easy part was sending words to my people, of which there weren’t many. I had already done that for about half of them. But when I’m 80 I want to be surrounded by the things and people I love that bring the best memeories so I can tell the best stories!

Reply
- Lara on January 4, 2019 at 3:08 pm
  
  Not knowing all the lessons right now can be frustrating, but it’s also totally understandable and part of the process. Praying you get clarity as you continue to work through your goals!
  
  Reply
Heidi DK on December 30, 2018 at 10:46 am

Step 4 – Where do you want to be when you’re 80? I wanted to have a life that was disciplined and I discipled others. I want my kids to feel I led them by God’s will and grace. I want them to feel loved and that we embraced other and cared for them.

Step 5- One thing you want to cultivate in the year ahead – Hospitality

Step 6 – Name a few challenges from 2018 and lessons you learned

Illness and not getting back into healthy routine. Lesson learned to not get discouraged by breaks but to embrace and keep moving forward little by little.

Financial difficulties. Lesson learned that God will provide and to trust in Him and his plan

Health concerns for relatives. Lesson learned it is good to feel but also know God will help you through.

Step 7 – Who helped you live intentionally and grow? Husband, Wedel, Kids, Moser family, moms group

Reply
- Lara on January 4, 2019 at 3:08 pm
  
  I love your “one thing” you chose, Heidi!
  
  Reply
Laura on December 30, 2018 at 2:25 pm

When I’m 80: to have kids and grandkids that love the Lord and each other. To love my husband more. To know God more. To have a strong healthy body.

Reply
- Lara on January 4, 2019 at 3:09 pm
  
  That’s about all there is, isn’t there, Laura? : )
  
  Reply
Emily M Wood on December 30, 2018 at 4:15 pm

STEP 4:
To be honest, I imagine myself being a spunky, little old granny. I’ll probably be slightly hunched over, with a little white bob.  I want to be known for my faith; loving my boys and husband well; a smile on my face; joy in my heart; loving people; and laughter. I have a vision of me sitting with my husband (who will be 84). I want to be celebrating our 60th wedding anniversary. I think of us serving the Lord together; holding hands; laughing; sharing memories; and spending time with family (grandkids  ) I want people to see the love and friendship we share when they are around us.
In the room would be my three boys (They will be 56, 49, and 47…WOW!) Their wives and kids will all be there. As we sit together, I can hear us laughing and telling stories about things we have does as a family along the way. I want my boys to be Godly men. I pray my boys will have a personal and growing relationship with Christ and I pray they will serve the Lord with their gifts. I pray they will marry Godly women and be the spiritual leaders of their homes; leading their own families to love the Lord. I want my boys to love and appreciate FAMILY. I pray they will always be close and support one another. I also pray my boys will love PEOPLE….always looking for a way to serve and help.
As I sit in the room with all these people I love, I want to know that I served the Lord with all my heart soul, and mind. I pray that the Lord will have used me to make a difference in this world – specifically with foster care and adoption.

STEP 5:
I want to cultivate a spiritual foundation for my boys. I want to continue laying the foundation for my little ones so that one day they will make a decision to begin a personal relationship with the Lord. And I want to disciple my oldest as he grows in his relationship with the Lord.

STEP 6:
Challenges:
Budgeting
Meal Planning
Being ready for things like birthday parties and holidays
Having people over
Housekeeping
Consistent exercising
I didn’t make a photo book (like I had wanted to)
Consistency with my blog
Consistency with dates nights

Lesson:
The biggest thing I learned from my challenges is the fact that all of my challenges involve PLANNING AHEAD!!! When I don’t plan ahead and do a little preparing….it doesn’t happen!!! I have to be intentional to make things happen! Just a little forethought goes a long way!

STEP 7:
I am grateful for :
the LORD
my husband
my boys
my parents and sister
my father in law
my church family
Rachel, Lakin, and Heather
Sarah
Lynne
Cori
the Cultivate What Matters team and Lara
Specific people on IG who have encouraged me

STEP 8:
https://www.pinterest.com/emily_m_wood/cultivate-my-best-year-2019/

Reply
- Lara on January 4, 2019 at 3:09 pm
  
  I can totally picture it, Emily! Ha!
  
  Reply
Shea on December 30, 2018 at 11:34 pm

4. I hope to be someone who exudes joy and loves the Lord to her core. I pray that my children and grandchildren want to come to me and just talk while I listen – or give wise advice if they need it. I pray I have the kind of wisdom that only God provides, and I pray that I have taught my children to love others well and glorify Him.

5. I want to cultivate relationships with my family and friends. I want to be intentional about my finances and my health so that I can do fun things with them, also.

6. My health has been a struggle, and I’m not in control of it. I have learned to do as much as I can and let go and give it to the Lord. I want to be intentional and give it my best. I also learned that I really enjoy cultivating friendships. We are never too busy to take time for someone. It takes effort, but I always want to be someone that takes that effort.

7. I love this! I actually did this in November with some of the many friends who helped encourage me through graduate school. They came over, and I just wanted to thank them for being them! It was such a blessing to me! I wondered why I hadn’t done it sooner!

Reply
- Lara on January 4, 2019 at 3:09 pm
  
  I love that you were able to encourage your graduate school friends, Shea! So wonderful!
  
  Reply
Gessie on December 31, 2018 at 12:33 pm

1. Where do you want to be when you’re 80? What will matter to you then and what won’t? When I am 80 I would love to be alive and doing life well ….mind body and spirit. What will matter to me will be the relationships I have formed throughout the course of my life. I want them to remember how i made them feel. What wont matter is sweating the small stuff and depending on how you look at things everything can in essence be small stuff. I don’t want to allow fear, worry, need for control, and what others think of me to consume me.

5. What’s one thing you most want to cultivate in 2019?

I want to cultivate consistency in my efforts to brand and market myself/my skills.

6. What challenges did you experience in 2018, and what lessons did you learn from them? I learned that no amount of conversations will fill my emptiness or my loneliness. I need to be still and be comfortable with my own company and to essentially love myself….it’s really only then will I be made whole.

7. Who helped you in 2018? Who are you grateful for? (Go tell them!)

Wow when I say it takes a village it takes a village. I spent all morning thanking my village so y’all know who you are. mommy I love you!

Reply
- Lara on January 4, 2019 at 3:10 pm
  
  So good, Gessie!
  
  Reply
Erin on December 31, 2018 at 12:50 pm

4. When I’m 80 I want to be in love and thriving with my husband. Healthy so that we can be active and travel. I want to be a prayer warrior! I want my relationships to be fruitful. I want to leave a legacy of love, connection, worship and fun for my family. One where people and God come first.

5. I most want to cultivate my walk with the Lord! Read the Bible, seek him, pray continually.

6. My biggest challenge for the year was distraction and wasted time. It was so easy for me to get sucked into my phone and social media, or just things around the house. I’ve learned that I need to refocus in this area because my family and my time is more valuable than wasted instagram scrolling. This year I plan on scheduling more media breaks.

7. My husband was such a great gift this year! As we welcomed our third child he was able to be home for an extended leave (yay for paternity leave) and was so helpful. My brother in law helped us complete some outdoor projects that we could t have completed ourselves, and my parents have us so much needed time as a couple and watched the kids for us.

Reply
- Lara on January 4, 2019 at 3:10 pm
  
  Love these thoughts, Erin!
  
  Reply
catherine on December 31, 2018 at 5:35 pm

4. Where do you want to be when you’re 80? What will matter to you then and what won’t?
I want to be the kind of woman who is known for a deep faith and love in spite of the pain she endured. I want to be a grandmother who is willing to pour into her grandchildren even though her days of childrearing are done. I want to be a servant, a prayer warrior and a pillar of strength for younger women. The things that won’t matter: social media, my house cleanliness right now, my ideas of perfection.

5. What’s one thing you most want to cultivate in 2019?
Healing. After losing my 39 year old brother this past year, it is what our family needs most. Physical healing (grief makes a body ache), spiritual healing and mental healing. I want to cultivate it with the Lord as my guide to help me focus on the areas He sees fit and the “how”. I want to cultivate healing in my children and my husband. I want our home to be a place of refuge, stillness, and balm.

6. What challenges did you experience in 2018, and what lessons did you learn from them?
Losing my brother was the greatest challenge we faced. But, then there was the fallout from that. Grief took a toll on every area of my life. I’ve learned a deep compassion for those who are enduring pain and loss. I never knew how deeply loss truly impacted every area of life having only lost grandparents before so I was oblivious to it. I also learned what people need in great pain- your physical presence.

7. Who helped you in 2018? Who are you grateful for? (Go tell them!)
My sister, mom, and husband. They have each helped walk with me through grief even as they are grieving themselves. We all deal differently and apparently I am the most outwardly emotional one, so just learning from them and leaning on them has been a gift. Also, my best friend has kept me alive with her constant encouragement and availability. I would not have made it through the year without her!

Reply
- Lara on January 4, 2019 at 3:10 pm
  
  Wow – these are powerful answers, Catherine! I’m grateful for you!
  
  Reply
Sydney Ferrigno on January 1, 2019 at 12:56 am

I’m very excited about starting Powersheets. This is my first year .
Health 8, Friends 7, Finances 4, Spiritual growth 5, Spouse/significant other 1(currently single), Family 6, Work 8, Recreation 5.
I have been chasing people pleasing. I keep running from one task to another, trying to help everyone and I’m totally burnt out. Exhausted.
Good things that happened in 2018: My business is thriving. I made great strides in my health. I helped my Mom, Dad and Brother move to new houses and get settled in to new changes in all of our lives.
I’ve learned that I need to ask help more. I learned that I’m stronger and capable than I ever realized. I learned to rely so much more on God and His Grace.

Reply
- Lara on January 4, 2019 at 3:11 pm
  
  So happy to have you here, Sydney!
  
  Reply
Tracy Connaghan on January 1, 2019 at 12:54 pm

I want to be proud of myself when I’m 80. That I didn’t just let life pass me by and I took the chance instead of waiting for the right moment. I’ll be healthy and happy with my family by my side.
I really look forward to cultivating my personal growth this year.
My marriage has been struggling for a long time and I’ve learned that I need to work on myself first to make the necessary changes in my marriage.
I am grateful for my parents, my daughters and so many friends that have challenged me and been there for me through thick and thin.
I’m excited for a get together of about 25 like minded ladies to have a night of creating our vision boards. This will be my first time creating a vision board and I’m enjoying the process of gathering photos and words for my board.

Reply
- Lara on January 4, 2019 at 3:11 pm
  
  I’m excited for you, Tracy! Your vision board night sounds amazing!
  
  Reply
Lara YC on January 1, 2019 at 12:58 pm

4. Where do I want to be? – relaxed, strong, encouraging; relationships with family, friends, church

5. What do I want to cultivate in 2019? – ensuring I allow “me” time and that it is valuable…not just scrolling through my Facebook feed mindlessly (or comparing myself to others in the process)…more reading, sewing, and weight-lifting

6. Challenges and lessons in 2018?- trying to find a church that was biblically grounded and encouraged service and Spirit-led growth. I realized just how important my spiritual life is and how my faith community shapes that, for better or worse.

7. 2018 encouragers? – I just wrote this on my PowerSheets a few weeks ago and am loving finding ways to tell those folks!

Reply
- Lara on January 4, 2019 at 3:11 pm
  
  Love it all, Lara!
  
  Reply
Cassandra Stone on January 1, 2019 at 4:40 pm

Thisbyear my top goal is to cultivate a llife giving home for my family. Thank you for the question about where i want to be when I’m 80. Every time I think on it I cry. So deep yet simple.

Reply
- Lara on January 4, 2019 at 3:12 pm
  
  Beautiful, Cassandra! I’m sure you’ve heard of Sally Clarkson, but if not, you must look her up!
  
  Reply
Kendra on January 1, 2019 at 5:14 pm

Themes from these questions: I spent so much time in 2018 trying to multi-task and a lot of time missing my people. That’s not who I want to be now, nor who I want to be remembered as. I’ve learned a lot about what I can and can’t handle and in 2019 I want to cultivate presence and focus.

Also. To recall those who helped me this year was sweet. Biggest encourager was by far my husband. <3

Reply
- Lara on January 4, 2019 at 3:12 pm
  
  Ahhh. So good, Kendra!
  
  Reply
Emily Johnston on January 1, 2019 at 6:21 pm

Step 4 : Vacationing with my husband & enjoying our large family. Helping & supporting our sons in whatever season they are in. Reaping the benefit & joy of a legacy we worked with God to make. To have true and full joy, contentment & peace! With lots of laughter & being a blessing to others.

Step 5: With health, I want to cultivate a healthy mindset and actions towards food by nourishing & healing my body rather than medicating or trying to cover up pains that food won’t fix.

Step 6: 1 – social media, I tried to limit my intake, but did notice that the times I was on especially FB that I left feeling worse than when I started. I think there needs to be a major adjustment with social media in 2019…potentially getting off FB for an extended time. 2 – finding a good routine with our boys that cultivates a deeper spiritual walk…going beyond rushed prayer & Bible reading times. This matters A LOT to me, so I need to find what works best for us!

Step 7: It was really cool to see all the names that came to mind when I wrote these in my powersheets…I am so thankful for our new neighbors that we get to interact with – for their experiences and wisdom and kindness. Also, for my husband and 5 boys who have challenged and changed me in so many ways!

Reply
- Lara on January 4, 2019 at 3:12 pm
  
  Your answer to step four brings a smile to my face, Emily!
  
  Reply
Kayla on January 1, 2019 at 9:06 pm

I am so grateful for so many people in 2018! My family and my friends as well as new co-workers and a new small group!

Reply
- Lara on January 4, 2019 at 3:12 pm
  
  So glad, Kayla!!
  
  Reply
Ashlei on January 2, 2019 at 1:23 am

4. What will matter to me when I’m 80?
That my relationship is so deep with the Heavenly Father that his light shines through me out onto others, that I have a strong relationship with my loved ones, how I make others feel, having a home people feel welcome in (whatever it may look like), the values and wisdom I passed on to my children, that I am healthy so I can be around as long as possible, that we have fun and travel together, that we have lots of meaningful memories, and that I have lived out my purpose according to God’s call on my life.

5. One thing you want to cultivate in the year ahead?
A stronger, deeper faith! A better relationship with the Heavenly Father. I want to turn to him for everything, learn how to listen to his will for myself and my family, I want to lead the life he has planned out for me. I want to learn to lean on him in every season, good or bad!

6. Challenges and lessons from 2018.

-Not going to God first or sometimes even at all when I was struggling. The lesson here being to TRUST GOD! He knows our hearts and our needs and will always be there for us
– So many distractions. The lesson? Focus on fewer things to be sure I do those few things we’ll instead of doing lots of things poorly.
– I dealt with multiple deaths in a short period of time in 2018 for the first time in my adult life, it was life shattering. The lesson I learned was to appreciate the time you have and draw closer to those who matter because you just never know when God will call you home. This isn’t a new lesson, but I’ve never experienced it so deeply before.
7. Who are you grateful for?
My Husband and children, my mother, my friends, my church family, and my work family.

Reply
- Lara on January 4, 2019 at 3:13 pm
  
  Thank you so much for sharing, Ashlei!
  
  Reply
Grace on January 2, 2019 at 1:19 pm

Thank you for encouraging to recognize and acknowledge the community by which I am surrounded and the influence they have had in my life over the last year. This year I have come to more fully understand that life is not to be lived in isolation.

Reply
- Lara on January 4, 2019 at 3:13 pm
  
  Yes, Grace! It’s my pleasure!
  
  Reply
Carrie Ammerman on January 2, 2019 at 3:20 pm

4. Where do you want to be when you’re 80? What will matter to you then and what won’t?
– FAMILY!! this will be the thing that matters most to me later in life for sure.
– My current job, this is something that I look forward to changing and finding something that I am more passionate about. Don’t get me wrong, I have learned and grown a lot as a person and educator in this role for sure. It is just not the position for me.

5. What’s one thing you most want to cultivate in 2019?
I am not ready to choose just one thing yet.. .Here are something that I am pondering right now.
– Time management
– Being Present
– Organization

6. What challenges did you experience in 2018, and what lessons did you learn from them?
– Being present
– Managing my time
– Saying no to things
– Taking on way too much
– Doing things for others over taking care of myself and family
In 2018 I have learned how important it is to put my family first and what I enjoy doing. I also learned that it is extremely important to take care of myself both mental and physical. Growth mindset is something that I care a lot about.

7. Who helped you in 2018? Who are you grateful for? (Go tell them!)
– Friends (JJ, BJ and DP)
– Husband: being supportive and honest
– Sister (CS)

Reply
- Lara on January 4, 2019 at 3:13 pm
  
  I’m so glad you’re here, Carrie!
  
  Reply
Amanda on January 2, 2019 at 4:25 pm

4. I want to be with my family, loving the Lord together, to be humble and teachable, to have a prayer-saturated legacy, and to enjoy being with the people right in front of me.

5. I want to cultivate listening to the voice of the Lord and my prayer life.

6. Biggest challenge- moving our family to a new city and settling into new routines, new friendships, new church. A lot of new!

7. My husband, my kids, our friends and small group at church, my parents and my husband’s parents 🙂

Reply
- Lara on January 4, 2019 at 3:13 pm
  
  To be humble and teachable at 80 – yes!
  
  Reply
Elizabeth on January 2, 2019 at 9:54 pm

Where do you want to be when you’re 80? What will matter to you then and what won’t?
Living in a log cabin with my hubby. At peace with myself and those around me. Enjoying my husband, my grandkids and esp. God.

What’s one thing you most want to cultivate in 2019?
Living intentionally in every area of my life.

What challenges did you experience in 2018, and what lessons did you learn from them?
Going to be to often with 6 hours of sleep, staying up late.
I learned I can’t do it. I felt extremely tired now I’m working on going to bed earlier and 8 hours. Since I’ve started doing this I have felt a lot better.
Made some decisions that I thought were fine to make that hubby wasn’t in agreement with and realized if he’s not in agreement God won’t bless it!

I am going to make a 2019 vision board!

Reply
- Lara on January 4, 2019 at 3:14 pm
  
  Thank you for sharing, Elizabeth!
  
  Reply
Lindsay on January 3, 2019 at 9:34 pm

4. Where do you want to be when you’re 80? What will matter to you then and what won’t?
My top three things that I think will matter when I’m 80 is unwavering faith, gospel-centered legacy and my family.

5. What’s one thing you most want to cultivate in 2019?
A quiet influence – leading from my gifts and strengths not with a megaphone.

6. What challenges did you experience in 2018, and what lessons did you learn from them?
My biggest challenge I faced was laziness. I kept moving things from month to month – I had more anxiety of not completing it than I would have if I had just planned to do them!

7. Who helped you in 2018? Who are you grateful for? (Go tell them!)
My husband – my biggest cheerleader!

Optional bonus step: get visual and make your 2019 vision board!
Here is my working vision board :
https://www.pinterest.com/lindsayngordon/cultivate-my-best-year/

Reply
- Lara on January 4, 2019 at 3:14 pm
  
  Your vision board is lovely, Lindsay!
  
  Reply
JanDe on January 4, 2019 at 11:21 am

4. Still family oriented. Surrounded by joy and laughter. Raised a kind, thoughtful family that loves the Lord and serving others. Strong personal relationship with the Lord. Contentment in all things past and present. Encompassing a joy for life that positively impacts others for Christ.

5. My health and inner joy

6. I tried to keep a dying business going, only to realize the reason it was dying was because I had no passion for it… Just doing it to prove to myself I could do it. I learned that doing things without passion creates a lackluster, joyless life. Finding my passion for pleasing the Lord and my family is most important to me.

7. God – He reminded me daily why He chose to create me the way He did- flaws , uniqueness, and all!
My supportive husband, family, and friends made such a difference in my life and reminded me why I wake up each and every morning – to make a difference in this broken world.

Reply
- Lara on January 4, 2019 at 3:14 pm
  
  Thank you so much for sharing, JanDe!
  
  Reply
Ally Howell on January 10, 2019 at 10:37 am

What I want in 2019
I want to be a better friend and supportive family member.

What didn’t help in 2018?
IG scrolling-the most important people are in front of me, negativity-it never grows happiness, fear-God does not want me to fear and has provided a way to conquer it, worrying-solves nothing, not communicating with my husband-communication is worth the discomfort.

Gratitude list:
My mom-always listening and keeping me positive
Alyssa-helping me dare greatly
Hannah-teaching me how to be a good friend
Bryson-for endless patience
Glade-for making me a mommy
Monte-teaching me to be innocent and fun

Reply
- Lara on January 15, 2019 at 1:35 pm
  
  The most important people are in front of me — yes!
  
  Reply
Ally Howell on January 10, 2019 at 10:56 am

Here’s my vision board!
https://pin.it/gf75vtyfotkl5y

Reply
Erin on January 10, 2019 at 12:20 pm

I am so thankful for the friends God have put into my life, many are new in the last couple years. My family. I am beyond blessed.

Reply
- Lara on January 15, 2019 at 1:35 pm
  
  Beautiful, Erin!
  
  Reply
Melissa Alford on January 10, 2019 at 9:53 pm

After thinking through the big picture, I realized my desire to declutter my home is not about the house — it is about simplifying my life and eliminating distractions, creating white space to dream and plan adventures and create memories. That is the heart that motivates the goal. Wow.

Reply
- Lara on January 15, 2019 at 1:35 pm
  
  Yes!! So powerful, and motivating!
  
  Reply
Alesha on January 11, 2019 at 9:00 am

4. Where do you want to be when you’re 80? What will matter to you then and what won’t?
I want to have a strong, vibrant relationship with God and with my family. I want to be known for investing in others, being an example that others want to follow.

5. What’s one thing you most want to cultivate in 2019?
Learning to celebrate myself & others in meaningful ways – I’ve realized I often neglect celebration and I think it’s vital.

6. What challenges did you experience in 2018, and what lessons did you learn from them?
Childcare situation – My mom has been living with us in order to care for my daughter and in 2018 it came to a head with my husband. He’s struggled and so finally started expressing it and I found myself trying to be the peacemaker between the two of them and keep the house together. This has led me to depend more on God for answers and in being open to alternatives for the sake of my husband and my mom’s on-going relationship.

Feeling dry in my spiritual walk – I’ve been reading the Bible, but have done it more out of an act of checking the box, instead of actually digesting it.

Making time for eating well & exercising.

Figuring out the proper approach to discipline for my daughter.

7. Who helped you in 2018? Who are you grateful for? (Go tell them!)
My husband
My mom
My best friend – who has been a strong support for me this year
My church community

Reply
- Lara on January 15, 2019 at 1:36 pm
  
  “I want to be known for investing in others.” I love that, Alesha!
  
  Reply
Pam on January 17, 2019 at 10:26 pm

4. When I’m 80 I want to be more in love with God and living in radical obedience to him. Family and friends will matter most— popularity, looks, and wealth won’t.

5. I want most to cultivate intimacy with God in secret prayer in 2019.
6. in 2018 I was challenged by 2 adult kids moving many states away, changed church, friendships changed, shoulder injury. From these I learned gratitude, made new friends, rekindled old relationships, worshipped while exercising, took risks.
7. I’m grateful for the help of Jon, Sarah, Sara, Ann, & Ashley in 2018.

Reply
Marti on January 22, 2019 at 10:09 pm

I’m completely owning two things Lara has said: (1). There is nothing magical about January 1., (2) Progress not perfection. Thus, while I know I’m late to the party I showed up and I plan to have a good time!

So… (4) At age 80 I want to be known as a woman of God who truly trusted Him, who prayed for her family and friends. As a wife, I honored my husband and helped keep him holy. As a woman who looked for the good and the God in people, in circumstances – trials and joys – and who walked humbly with her God.

(5) The one thing I want to cultivate in 2019… more Jesus in everything, less Marti!

(6) Challenges in 2018 – work/role issues. Changes that I feared. Trusting people that I shouldn’t have. Still needing to cultivate my relationships with my children. Also had some health challenges/scares that have resolved but took a lot of time. I learned that my family really and friends truly are here for me and I can ask for things and let them help me.

(7) So grateful for my husband, Mom, sister, kids, several work friends, a couple of giving neighbors, two sweet girlfriends and two life friends! Oh, and a friendship that I re-established at the end of the year… I took a leap of faith, reached out and rekindled a friendship that I let fade merely from neglect on my part.

Reply
Linda Chen on January 23, 2019 at 10:02 pm

4. Where do you want to be when you’re 80? What will matter to you then and what won’t?
healthy, happy, self love, wisdom, respected, holy. The little things wont matter anymore

5. What’s one thing you most want to cultivate in 2019?
health and self love

6. What challenges did you experience in 2018, and what lessons did you learn from them?
burn out from work, missing out in church community due to work schedule, spending time with people who dont cultivate. lesson learned is that without God, my life doesnt have progress

7. Who helped you in 2018? Who are you grateful for? (Go tell them!)
Husband, church fellowship, my friend kat

Reply

Dec 21, 2018

2019 GOAL SETTING, Part 2: The 1 Question You Need to Ask Yourself

Giveaway, Goal Setting

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2019 GOAL SETTING, Part 2: The 1 Question You Need to Ask Yourself

Giveaway, Goal Setting

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MANY OF THE LINKS AND CODES TO PRODUCTS/SERVICES ON LARACASEY.COM ARE AFFILIATE LINKS. THIS MEANS I RECEIVE A COMMISSION WHEN YOU MAKE A PURCHASE USING THE LINK OR CODE. many of the links also provide you a discount. I only recommend products I love and use—enjoy!