Oct 20, 2015

LIFE AFTER BABY: POSTPARTUM RECOVERY (AND REFINING)

,
Share

Before I share anything ahead, know this: I am so grateful! I am going to share some of the challenges of the postpartum period, but I know these are so small in the big picture. I praise God for my family, and at the same time, the weeks after baby were (and still are) challenging. I know the same is true for many women! We are so grateful for our families, and yet feel like we can’t talk about the hard times. Let’s not feel isolated and alone. Let’s see God at work, even in the messy stuff, and not feel like we have to keep the hard things bottled inside. So, as you read my experiences, know that I recognize that these are light and momentary troubles. The Lord is good. Okay, onto the mess!

A timeline: The first four weeks after Joshua’s birth were rough, as they are for most women. I was in survival mode. Between the lack of sleep and my body and hormones, it felt… well, the only word I can think of is “yuk.” Very descriptive, right? ; ) Weeks five and six were equally messy, but my body started to heal and hormones began to figure out where they belonged. Weeks seven and eight, while I had some complications (more on that in a minute), I began to come out of the woods. Today, at week nine, while sleep hasn’t changed much (I’m feeding J 3-5 times a night), I don’t feel the “yuk,” and for that I am grateful! In this post you’ll find more on recovery from the “yuk,” life with my two little redheads, postpartum emotions, the time I thought I ran over a bunny (get ready for this one—Ari said I had to share), maternity leave blunders, and a few helpful tips! Even if you aren’t expecting, I hope this post encourages you. We’re going to go in chronological order, but feel free to jump to any section that interests you.

I wrote this during several quick nap breaks, so forgive typos and short sentences!

Marriage matters most: One quick thought before we move on to life after baby! It is wise to prepare for birth through classes and great books, but the number one thing that will prepare you well–besides a close relationship and trust in the Lord–is a close relationship with your husband. Spending intentional time together, having fun, sharing your deepest heart longings, and praying together about you birth experience (so helpful) before baby comes is the best advice I can give you. When labor begins and your expected “birth plan” goes out the window, what you will have left is your trust in the Lord and the strength of your marriage bond. Do whatever it takes to love your husband and cultivate that connection. This will also help postpartum in the sleepless nights ahead! Pray together a lot, even when you’re so tired that you feel like you can’t make complete sentences (happened a lot here!).

IMG_2062

Recovery in the Hospital: Our time in the hospital after J was born was better than our experience with Grace because we knew to expect several things: little sleep, lots of night time interruptions from hospital staff, and all kinds of humility-inducing experiences for mama. (One word: padsicles.) I knew this time that my body would feel broken and weak. I knew nursing would wear me out for the first days. And I knew it wouldn’t be that way forever, though. Some tips below.

– What I didn’t expect: being SO hungry! I could have eaten the entire buffet at Whole Foods. The morning after J’s birth, my mom brought me a huge sandwich. Ate that. Ate oatmeal. Cookies. More cookies. Tons of water. Another sandwich. I. Was. Hungry! I had the workout of my life pushing a baby out, but wow. Ladies, if you get that hungry too after birth, don’t fear. Just eat! Your body needs good fuel, so listen to it.

IMG_1368

J’s first bath : ) 

– Bring comfortable but “normal” clothes to the hospital! I brought a shirt from Walk in Love and some comfortable cotton pants from Walmart. With Grace, I brought clothes I could have tossed had they gotten soiled, but this time it was so helpful for me to wear clothes that made me feel good postpartum. I certainly wouldn’t bring anything you wouldn’t be okay with getting dirty, but bring clothes that make you feel good. Oh, and you’ll still be in maternity clothes for several weeks. I still don’t fit into regular pants yet at 9 weeks postpartum and I’m okay with that!

– Bring snacks! Refer back to the previous point about being so hungry : ) On that note, your tastebuds may completely change postpartum. Mine have with both kids. I craved very specific things before birth, and then after I wanted totally different things.

– I brought my own pillows and a giant beach towel. Hospitals have small towels and hospitals are cold, so bring a big towel. Be sure your pillows are in a case other than white so the hospital doesn’t mistake them for theirs.

– Don’t commit to visitors in the hospital until after baby comes as you may not be up for it! We had Grace, my mom, Rhiannon, and a couple friends stop by. That was plenty.

– Bring a sleep mask and ear plugs. For real. Just do it. Nap when you can in the hospital.

Postpartum recovery in a hospital is different for everyone, but we knew from previous experience that we wanted to be discharged as soon as possible. All those nighttime nurse visits and hospital personnel and lactation consultants and a photographer selling newborn sessions and various non-medical things can leave you weary. So, we prayed that God would let us just stay one night and then go home. He answered. We did all the things—testing and more testing, blood samples, birth certificate–and went home after 24 hours. This was taken right when we arrived home from the hospital. I was so happy to be home!

IMG_2059

Maternity leave: I naively thought I wouldn’t need much maternity leave. I don’t know what made me think this! I think I even said to Emily at one point that I might just take a few days. !?!???  Apparently, it’s easy to forget how hard the early days are with a baby. The week after J was born, I came to my senses and knew I would need as much as possible. We changed the work schedule here (our office is the second story of our house) so the ladies were here minimally in the first weeks, and I changed my email auto reply. I followed Nancy’s example and decided to not answer business email for the entirety of my 12 week leave. It gets deleted unless it’s from my team or something urgent. I’m on maternity leave until November and then on “book leave” after that to write book 2, which is due February 1. And then… on maternity leave again for our adoption that will, Lord willing, happen shortly after. So, my inbox won’t be getting a lot of attention for the next 6-8 months!

Social media: Along with this, I intentionally decided to delete the social media apps on my phone. It’s too easy to scroll through mindlessly when you are exhausted, and all that scrolling somehow leaves you more unsettled, so I have chosen to read a book or pray instead. This is good for me and my family, so it hasn’t been hard to do. Selfishly, I want to delete my accounts altogether. But, I feel that the Lord has purposed them for something. I don’t know exactly what yet. I’m still praying on it all.

IMG_2172

On to physical recovery at home!

Sleep: First, (and please don’t tune this advice out because you have heard it before) sleep when the baby sleeps. Get help from friends to watch your older child if you have one. Ask someone else to load the dishwasher. Be humble and ask for help so you can sleep. Now, this advice is coming from someone who did none of these things the first time around. And if you remember what my doc said to me about my postpartum depression with Grace, it rhymes with sheep. This was hard for me to do this time but I knew it would affect everything else. So, I would let grandma or a friend or Rhiannon take Grace out somewhere and I attempted to nap. I’m not a very skilled napper but earplugs, a sleep mask, letting J nap right next to me, and a lot of prayer helped. Even if I didn’t actually fall asleep (happened often), laying down to let my body rest for a few minutes was good. Do whatever you can to rest when baby rests during the day.

Diastasis NOT rectified: This time around, I have diastasis recti (abdominal separation). This is caused by the stretching of my abs during pregnancy and also likely because I did zero abdominal exercises for the last four years before I had J. The former personal trainer in me is hanging her head low on that one. So, I still look pregnant. I am currently wearing an abdominal binder and waiting to see if this heals.

Uterine pain: I had a lot of uterine pain postpartum and regularly took Motrin. A mama friend here warned me about the second baby uterine pain before I had J, and she was right! It felt like painful cramps. This lasted for about 4 weeks and then tapered off completely at 6 weeks.

Night sweats: The worst recovery symptom of all for me (which I also had with Grace) was night sweats. Oh, night sweats! This started at 4 days postpartum and lasted for three full weeks. It. Was. Awful. I slept on towels and had to change my pillowcase every day. I would wake up in the middle of the night most nights and have to change my clothes. But, it did go away. To my friends going through menopause, I want to hug you!

IMG_1681In my nursing chair above, where I spend about six hours a day : ) 

Breastfeeding: I had a hard time feeding Grace in the early days. Nursing was painful. So painful I would cry every time. With Grace, I switched to pumping exclusively when she was about two weeks old. The Medela Symphony and I were BFF’s (Breastfeeding Friends for what felt like Forever) for 15 months. Grace took to bottles easy, which helped in a busy year with work. She took to the paci easily, which helped calm her. Every child is different, though. Joshua doesn’t like bottles or pacis. He won’t take them at all. He just likes mama. And, I’m okay with that right now. I read a great book called The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding that helped take the pressure of of nursing and gave confidence to nurse exclusively. (Great book to read before baby too. Highly recommend! I wish I had read it before Grace.) Now, is exclusively nursing convenient for me? Yes and no. I do not miss the pump one bit, but exclusively nursing means I am with J all the time, and feeding when he is hungry. But, I believe this is exactly where God wants me right now. Grounded at home. In my nursing chair. Reading my Bible and some great books I’ve been learning from lately (more on that in a sec) praying a lot. I believe God has put me in a new season.

Nursing has had two challenges of note so far that I thought I’d share some thoughts on: protein intolerance and mastitis.

IMG_2389

Dairy-free, soy-free, egg-free, I’m hun-gry!: First, protein intolerance, also known as blood in J’s diapers because of something in my milk that he can’t digest well. After weeks of wondering why he had an awful rash on his face and wasn’t sleeping well—and then discovering the blood—the doc asked if I ate dairy. Yep. Lots of dairy. I’ve eaten the same breakfast for the last 15 years. For real. With the exception of maybe five mornings, I’ve had Jay Robb chocolate whey protein powder and oatmeal. Well, turns out that dairy is the #1 protein that babies can have trouble digesting. So, I cut out dairy. His rash went away, but the blood didn’t stop, so she asked if I ate soy.  Yep. Love my Luna Bars. But, I had to give up soy too. So, now I am on a soy-free, dairy-free, egg-free (just in case!) diet and so far we have seen great improvement in him. It’s not the easiest diet to follow as there is soy and dairy and eggs hiding in tons of foods, but I’m making it work. If you have recipes, please share. This diet of just chicken and the occasional bite of fish gets old after a while!

Mastitis: This and the night sweats. I’ve had it three times in two months. It starts as tenderness in one breast and then suddenly I have a fever for 48 hours and can’t get out of bed. I have it right now, actually, but thanks to immediately taking antibiotics, I have passed the fever stage. My mom had it a lot while nursing me and my brother, and I already know I inherited her dense chest tissue and fibroids… an easy way to get a clogged milk duct and infection. I don’t have a whole lot to say about mastitis except it’s humbling and I am grateful for prayerful friends.

What I love about nursing: Being close to J all the time. Knowing that the Lord has me in this place for a reason. And I’ve been spending time praying and reading. Read: The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up. It was, indeed, life-changing. We donated a garage full of stuff and the book changed my perspective. However, it’s wise to read it with a strong faith filter. Some of the book is not Biblical, so check your Bible as you read! Currently reading (and loving): FerVent, What Happens When Women Walk in Faith, and Women of the Word. The latter is excellent!

IMG_2033

Postpartum depression: I had the baby blues on the expected days: day three and day seven postpartum. I cried a lot and felt very low on those days. There have been a lot of tears on tired days, and there have been lots of tired days. But, I did not experience the same postpartum depression feelings that I had with Grace. There were times I felt angry about life being such a mess and exhausted beyond words, but I was still able to see God at work. It has been refining. Like metal being shaped and refined in a fire to be used for something good. And it is good. I know that full well. This postpartum period has been a time of being humbled and surrendering.

IMG_2038Napping on daddy. Ah, the life of a newborn. 

Some advice for helping with all the feelings postpartum:

– If you feel hopeless, talk to God right away, and call your doctor. (Postpartum depression is very different than the baby blues.)

– Sleep when you can. Make that top priority.

– Get some exercise when your doc says it’s okay. I would just walk up and down my stairs a couple times at first, or walk around my culdesac. It wasn’t much but it made me feel better.

IMG_2694

– Eat healthy food. You will need good fuel. I made the mistake of having jelly beans around late at night. Don’t do that. Sugar will slow you down. Stock your fridge with tons of fruit. I’ve also been drinking a lot of yummy herbal tea.

– Talk to friends. I am so grateful for the friends who have let me talk about not sleeping and kept my perspective on the right place: being grateful anyway.

– Take it easy. We have had to stop outings at night. This has been hard, as we love getting dinner with friends and spending time with church family. But, right now, for this short season, we try to be home by 7:30 at the latest. Otherwise, meltdowns ensue and we are all more tired because of it.

IMG_2100

Life with two: Grace’s transition was a lot harder than we expected. She loved having a little brother, but it was hard to have her normal life routines shaken up. She was used to having lots of sweet quality time with me in the mornings to talk and play, and now I had to feed the baby and was a zombie. This was hard for both of us. The first couple weeks I was very sad about it. I mourned the loss of that sweet time and could tell Grace did too. But, we have found new ways to get time together. One thing we did it move some of her favorite toys into the living room so I could engage with her in conversation while she played and I nursed. That has been a huge help.

IMG_2034

Tips on life with two:

– Get help with the older sibling, whether from grandma, friends, or professional childcare if you are able. Even a couple hours can make a world of difference and you will all be happier for it. Both my mom and Ari’s mom came to visit on weekends and that was huge to have a few days where someone else (who wasn’t sleep-deprived) was loving on Grace so that Ari and I could get a couple minutes together.

IMG_2158

– Keep the older sibling busy in the early weeks. Grace happened to start preschool a few weeks after J was born and that was a lifesaver! She felt like she had her own thing and looked forward to time out of the house. It has been so good. I am still planning to homeschool her in the near future, but for now we love her new teachers and classmates and what she’s learning. Can you tell she was excited about her first day of school above? And can you tell we all love our Walk in Love shirts!? : )
– Let the older sibling have individual quality time with everyone in the house, including the baby.
– Some great advice from my friend Emily Hansel: help the older sibling voice their feelings of frustration. I tell Grace often that sometimes being a big sister is hard and that’s okay. I was a big sis once too and it was hard at times, but then it got fun!

IMG_2704

– See that beautiful smiling lady above? This gal. I praise Him for her! She doesn’t just help me with Grace and Joshua, but she has become one of my closest friends. We pray together, laugh together, nurture together, and she even helped me create the Write the Word journals! Growing closer with Rhiannon during these nine weeks has been a blessing. I am no super mom. It takes a lot to run our household with an office of women inside of it too, so I need this gal. Right now, Rhiannon takes care of shuffling Grace around to preschool and various activities during the week, and I’m with Joshua full time and with Grace too in the afternoons. I’m not totally sure how I’m going to write a book with a baby in my arms all day, but I’m putting that in the Lord’s hands!

IMG_2814

I love this picture Rhiannon took of Grace more than words!

That time I thought I ran over a bunny: So, this was not funny at the time it happened. There is an adorable little bunny that has visited our garden all summer and fall. He’s so cute. One night, Ari and I were in separate cars because he went to get his mom from the airport and I had to bring G + J to meet them for dinner. Joshua does not like the car, so on the way home, he wailed the entire time. I have a hard time focusing when he is upset, so I was trying my best to drive carefully and not have a meltdown myself. I prayed and God said, “Don’t be anxious, Lara.” I didn’t listen, and pulled into my driveway faster than usual. I saw my bunny friend dart in front of the car. Thump. I instantly started crying. I didn’t care what the neighbors thought of me and my son wailing together. I felt awful. Ari pulled up into the driveway just as I got out of my car with J. I didn’t want to see the bunny so I ran inside. I cried and cried. This was four weeks postpartum and I sat there a mess of emotions.

The next morming, I didn’t even want to look out the living room window. “Ari, you go. Go see if it’s there.” Bless his soul, he walked outside and returned to inform me that there was no sign of the bunny. He must have been hurt and limped off into the bushes.

Three days later, we pulled in from being at church and, low and behold, out hops my little bunny friend–happy as can be, injury-free! It was a clear message from the Lord: do not worry, Lara. No matter what. Do not be anxious for anything. I cried again in relief and praised Him!

Why do I tell you this story? Because that’s what God has been teaching me. In the sleepless nights and fevers and times I didn’t think I could do another day on two hours of sleep, He whispers: Do not worry, for I am with you. Do not worry, for I have better plans than yours. Do not worry about your momentary troubles. They are so very small. Eternity is where I want your focus. Do not worry, little one. I have you in my arms always. I am in this.

I have so much more to share that God is doing in my heart, but I want to live it before I talk about it.

FullSizeRender

Up next: Baby things we have appreciated, and more on my next book and our adoption. I’m currently typing this last paragraph with one hand and it’s time to go feed the little guy again! Hi, friends!

Your turn! Have any dairy/soy/egg free recipes to share? Have you felt similar things postpartum? Any advice on writing a book with a baby in your arms? What has God been teaching you lately? I’d love to hear from you!

IMG_2998

In case you missed it: Sharing the news that we were unexpectedly expecting and choosing his name, Joshua’s birth story, and Nancy’s post and perspective on Joshua’s birth.

This post contains some Amazon affiliate links. Any proceeds will go to Love One Another Project!

38 Comments

  1. Leigh on October 20, 2015 at 6:46 pm

    That sweet picture of J in the Elmo towel is the sweetest picture! I just love it!

    Hang in there. I love how you are being open and honest and sharing this new journey.

    Just wait – you are going to have some super sweet times with that boy! Boy’s love their momma’s and it is the best!

  2. M on October 20, 2015 at 6:48 pm

    Oh Lara, I am so grateful for these posts! Your first words were such a sweet reminder of gratefulness and that my marriage matters in these challenging weeks of pregnancy where all I want to do is complain. My sweet husband has picked up so much emotional slack for me and I need to express my gratitude more!

  3. Deborah Zoe on October 20, 2015 at 7:21 pm

    Loved reading this, reminded me so much of my experience in those first few weeks!! Here’s a great dairy free/soy free recipe!! Spicy Lamb Ragu (1lb Lamb, lots of red pepper flakes, basil, Italian seasoning, pepper, salt, white balsamic vinegar, 1 cup of sugar free/dairy free/soy free tomato sauce from Whole Foods) 2 heaping tbs of tomato paste. Mix all together!! Enjoy over spinach or your favorite bread) SOO yummy!! Having gone dairyfree/soyfree/sugarfree for several periods this past year, I’d recommend looking into Whole 30 recipes on Pinterest for inspiration 🙂 Also coconut milk can be a lifesaver!!

  4. Kerry on October 20, 2015 at 7:49 pm

    Hi Lara! Really beautiful post. Want to keep it short so here are some food recs! 1. Daiya Cheese will change your life. It’s dairy, egg, soy, casein, gluten free.. and more. It tastes like cheese! Chedder + mozz are staples here. They also make other dairy replacement items from frozen pizza to cream cheese and a cheesecake that is unreal. 2. Another great brand is Follow Your Heart. 3. These are at whole foods or use dayia’s locator on their website: https://us.daiyafoods.com/ 4. Cauiflower Mash https://detoxinista.com/2012/11/mashed-cauliflower-vegan-paleo/ 5. Almond Milk!!! So delish. Be careful of Casein in food. Thanks for sharing your heart! xoxo

  5. Morin Alonge on October 20, 2015 at 7:51 pm

    Faithfulness over Annointing, those little steps you’re taking right now are farr more valuable then you realise, but He is probably nudging your heart. Indeed a new & wonderful season.. uhm, Heather Lindsey (could google her) just recently turned vegan for her newborn, and she creates tons of recipes! Praying for you! GOD BLESS YOU RICHLY! You’re so Inspiring.

  6. Ly on October 20, 2015 at 7:52 pm

    I am not a mother, but I some day hope to be. I love your honesty and commitment to being authentic and real. When we are willing to take our masks off and be vulnerable about what’s really going on in our lives we are glorifying God and drawing others into his grace and love. Thank you for your heart. And as a young life leader, I couldn’t help but notice that Grace is wearing a camp shirt! Love it! 🙂

    • Lara on October 20, 2015 at 8:15 pm

      Thank you for the encouragement and such a great eye! Rhiannon helped at YL camp a couple months ago and brought Grace a shirt : )

  7. JD on October 20, 2015 at 8:16 pm

    Bless you, your sweet baby boy, Ari, and precious Grace! My 21-month-old daughter has food protein-induced enterocolitis syndrome (FPIES), and as a result we have cut out a whole mess of foods from our diets in order to keep her safe and healthy since I am still nursing her and we want our home to be a no-worry zone for food allergies. To date, we know she is allergic to milk, soy, rice, wheat, oats, corn, tapioca, bananas, strawberries, and avocado. Chicken or ground beef in the slow cooker with a homemade balsamic vinaigrette marinade are staples in our diet, paired with roasted veggies or a huge salad to fill us up. Coconut aminos is a pretty decent soy sauce substitute, although it is sweeter than the real deal. Nutritional yeast (sometimes referred to as nooch) is a tasty and nutritious cheese substitute.

    As it seems to be the case for you, I am a creature of habit when it comes to foods I consume. What has kept my husband and I the most satisfied since our daughter’s birth and subsequent FPIES diagnosis is to eat as similarly to our former ways as possible while making necessary changes to recipes in order to avoid known food allergens. It has definitely been challenging for us, but we know the consequences are many if our daughter is exposed to her allergens.

    Prayers for you, that you will have the fortitude to deny the temptations of foods that have brought you comfort in the past if they include foods that aren’t safe for J, and for quick healing from your latest bout of mastitis. Prayers for J, that he would heal well from the reactions he’s had and not continue to have chronic reactions because of exposures to dairy and soy. Prayers for Ari, because I have seen the pressure my husband has endured in order to support me in our efforts to figure out how best to keep our daughter healthy; that he will have the ability to support you in the ways you need, and the grace for himself to not feel guilty for eating foods that you can’t currently consume. Prayers for Grace, that she would continue to blossom and find joy in her new friends, new teachers, and new role in your family; that she will see the love you and Ari have for her both as your daughter and as big sister to sweet Joshua. And prayers for your family, that you will continue to see the beauty in the days that God has granted you to spend together.

    So very thankful for your honesty and your heart, Lara!

    -JD

    • Lara on October 20, 2015 at 8:18 pm

      Wow thank you for all of this and your prayers. That is the best gift!

  8. Kristyn Monaghan on October 20, 2015 at 8:33 pm

    Oh Lara! I love how openly you share your heart! Thank you all for all the wonderful tips! Definitely feeling all things excited and nervous to welcome our sweet girl but trusting that it will all work out according to His will!

  9. Rachel on October 20, 2015 at 8:46 pm

    My advice: learn to nurse wherever. I plan on breastfeeding until at least one year and I could not personally stay at home that whole time. I nurse my little one wherever I am. Baby wearing helps a lot.

  10. Sara Beth Fachetti on October 20, 2015 at 9:43 pm

    Though it’s been challenging , it sounds like the Lord’s grace has been all over you and your family, and I praise Him for that! God clearly has you in a season of sitting with Him and He does with me too, so I can relate! Side note, I don’t think I’ve seen a family of all redheaded children since my own ! Looking forward to your next update, take care 🙂

  11. Sarah on October 20, 2015 at 9:59 pm

    This was such a great and perfectly timed post for me- thank you!! I am 2 weeks in with my 2nd child and going through so many similar things…so refreshing to know that I’m not alone!! Deleting social media is such a good idea…I need to speak more Truth to myself instead on mindless scrolling. Thank you and please keep sharing!!!

  12. Jen Kessler on October 20, 2015 at 10:41 pm

    I had the same bloody diaper issue with my first and it led me to a great site, specifically i made these peanut butter bars. You can sub 1 banana for the 1 egg. Also i’m not a coconut fan so i didn’t use coconut. Super simple and nothing to feel guilty about.

    https://www.healthhomeandhappiness.com/grain-free-sugar-free-peanut-butter-brownies.html

  13. Emily D. on October 20, 2015 at 10:48 pm

    How much do I love this post? So much. I’m not pregnant, and I don’t have any kids, but I love reading about others’ experiences with this incredible journey.
    I’ve been loving the Write the Word journal, and I think I really need to be more creative with mine, instead of just writing. I need to color! 🙂

  14. Aimee on October 20, 2015 at 11:11 pm

    Get a good baby carrier like an Ergo. Postpartum has always been rough for me…I have six children and with each one, my husband gets the baby in the night, does the diaper changing (ONLY if REALLY needed, otherwise keep the baby in the same diaper to minimize wakings) and tucks the baby next to me to nurse. I always nurse side-lying so I can doze while the baby nurses (thin waterproof pad is under us) and eventually I tap my husband and he puts the baby back in his pack n play or car seat or whatever works 🙂 having my feet not hit the floor in the night really helps me get deeper rest to deal with all the hormones and my other children during the day.

  15. Hannah Novak on October 21, 2015 at 12:03 am

    Hi Lara! I hope postpartum keeps getting better and better for you! Three good resources for diet are the Weston A. Price Foundation, Whole30, and my friend @organiclifelove on Instagram! One thing you could do is make smoothies with coconut milk or almond milk, banana or avocado, berries, and chia seeds for good protein. Soup is also really nice to make in big batches to reheat. You’ll find a groove with the new diet soon! Just keep trying different things!

  16. Sarah Stroscio on October 21, 2015 at 1:02 am

    My sweet Lara – you are such a gift of patience and love. Thank you for sharing your struggles and your blessings. I’m so happy to see (read) that you’re doing well – even through the struggles, He is giving you the strength/patience/rest that you need to get through each minute of every hour/day/week. Praying for you, J, Grace, and Ari as you learn how to manage this new season of your lives. Lots of love and hugs to you. XOXO

  17. Katie on October 21, 2015 at 12:01 pm

    Hi Lara, I hear you in the screaming in the car thing! It was really giving me a hard time with my daughter and because everything, even grocery, is not in close proximity, I put a DVD player where the mirror goes on the seat so she can be soothed. It had been a game changer for me and I am sure made me a much safer driver. Thank you for sharing your heart. Nice to know we are not alone. Power to the Momma!

  18. Kristin on October 21, 2015 at 1:18 pm

    I so appreciate your honesty Lara. Sending love to you all. What a beautiful family! xoxo

  19. Silvana on October 21, 2015 at 4:20 pm

    I missed reading your stories Lara. It always inspires me. Your babies are adorable. I know how hard is to go through the postpartum recovery. I had to do it alone for my last baby, because I was getting a divorce. But it will end, and you have your precious treasure. Lots of love to you. xoxo

  20. Ashley on October 21, 2015 at 5:54 pm

    Oh I am right there with you. My little boy is 7 months and I am still struggling with all the feelings and emotions and ugh! We moved when he was 3 months old, so that didn’t help. My first was easy peasy. Thank you for the story about the rabbit (I’ve been there. Not the rabbit, but it was other things). I needed to hear those words today as well! !
    Check out Against all Grain. She does dairy and soy free and her recipes are amazing and easy to follow. I have both of her books – Against all grain and meals made simple. Good luck 😉

  21. Melissa on October 21, 2015 at 6:36 pm

    I had a baby boy 3 weeks before you who is also milk protein and soy sensitive. It was so tough at first since most of my snacks had dairy or soy in them! I’ve been making big batches of this warm winter salad bowl and reheating it for lunch throughout the week: https://ohsheglows.com/2015/01/21/warm-roasted-winter-salad-bowl/
    Also doing smoothies with greens, chia seeds, coconut milk, banana, berries, oats, and whey protein powder. Oh, and this soup: https://www.peanutblossom.com/blog/2012/01/tuscan-chicken-soup.html/ – just skip the cream – it’s awesome. I throw in 2 frozen chicken breasts and just shred them after 30 min. Thanks for taking the time to share your postpartum journey with us! It’s so encouraging to read others’ struggles and encouragement through the birth and postpartum period.

  22. Mackenzie on October 22, 2015 at 3:26 am

    Sweet Lara, I have been praying for you and your growing family over the past months. I am so glad to hear that you are all adapting and settling into a new way of life. A suggestion regarding protein: I use an INCREDIBLE soy-free, dairy-free, vegan protein distributed through Arbonne. It’s the best-tasting chocolate protein I’ve ever tried. I have several individual serving-size packets if you’d like me to send you some to try! My email address is mackenzie.praytor@gmail.com – just let me know if you think this would help you. I will continue to pray for you, Grace, Joshua, Ari and your new addition coming soon. All the best!

  23. Meg on October 22, 2015 at 3:57 pm

    Yes, thank you for sharing! I suffered PPD with my first, not nearly as bad with my second, but it was still a hard adjustment, especially finding ways to still spend one on one with the older one. I remember those feelings of feeling guilty too, about having a baby around that took some of my attention away from her. Preschool helped us as well!

  24. Meg on October 22, 2015 at 3:59 pm

    P.S. I love the cookbook It’s All Good by Gweneth Paltrow & Julia Turshen

  25. Aryn on October 22, 2015 at 5:55 pm

    I don’t know if you’re a baker, but I found that coconut milk (from a can, NOT coconut drink from a carton) is a great sub for dairy millk. Almond milk was great for making ganache. I had to be dairy-free for ten months with my daughter. Then the nutitionist suggested I start giving her small bits of cheese. By then she’d outgrown it and I could finally go back on dairy!

  26. Sarah on October 22, 2015 at 6:50 pm

    Beautiful post. My babies are 19 months apart and I thought the first 3 months of having two children was a complete smack down!! But after a fall, you can rebuild 🙂 By 3 months, I was no longer in shock and was able to begin coping with all of the changes. You’re so close!!

    With my first baby, I enjoyed and felt good at motherhood from day 1…that so did not happen with #2. She was a beautiful and precious blessing (and was a very “easy” baby, actually), but mothering two was not natural for me at all. Now, 15 months into being a mom of two, I am enjoying most of the day every day with them and am so grateful for all of the hard, refining days you write about so beautifully in this post. They’ve turned me into a new and better Sarah…also, a 2x/day coffee drinker, but that’s beside the point. 🙂

    May I make a reading suggestion for your nursing chair? Sally Clarkson’s “Own Your Life.” It seems so up your alley, and would be so encouraging and challenging if you haven’t read it yet!

  27. Heidi on October 23, 2015 at 4:42 am

    I’m probably not having more babies, but I so enjoyed this post – reminded me of the sweet (and stressful!) days during those first weeks post birth!

    I also wanted to suggest that you might be interested in looking up MuTu System. It’s a restorative program for diastasis recti. I didn’t realize I had it after my third (quite terribly, actually – I had a 7 finger gap!), and I’ve been using this to help make some improvements. It’s not something I sell or anything like that. I’m just a happy customer whose gap (and whole body alignment and functioning) has improved with the work.

  28. Sarah on October 23, 2015 at 3:46 pm

    Loved reading your story, thanks for sharing! I’m currently dairy and soy free too. I love Danielle Walker’s recipes. She has several cookbooks and a website (https://againstallgrain.com/) featuring lots of yummy recipes you can try! xo

    • Cheryl on October 29, 2015 at 4:17 am

      Sarah, These cookbooks and recipes are my favorite! I need to stay away from gluten, wheat, soy, and dairy…these recipes were so helpful since I didn’t need to make any substitutions. Added bonus: my whole family loves the food, so no need to make separate meals because of my allergies. Thanks for sharing. Great recommendation! Blessings

  29. Natalie on October 24, 2015 at 10:26 pm

    I was really prone to mastitis with all three of my babies, and by the third, became friends with woman who is a lactation consultant. She suggested being proactive against mastitis and asked me to look daily in the mirror for any red streaking on my breasts and to use warm compresses EVERY time I nursed. I made a sock filled with rice and would microwave it before nursing to use as the warm compress. It made a world of difference! Mastitis is awful and so painful. I will be praying for you.

  30. Jen on October 29, 2015 at 3:42 am

    Hey Lara, your post has brought back so many memories… sad, angry, frustration, love, care, family, Jesus, restoration. Like many mums, I had a hard, negative time with my first pregnancy and birth, struggled to recover and didn’t have the wonderful relationship with God that I have now. As He does, God came along when I most needed Him in the guise of the maternal and child health nurse who was the hands of Jesus when I needed it most. My second pregnancy and birth were “as far as the East is from the West”. A restorative, redeeming time that spoke to me about how much my relationship with Jesus had changed in the 5 1/2 years between children.
    All I can say is that Jesus really does care about our experiences of pregnancy and birth, He does mind that the first time (or many times) was yuck, He wants to make you whole… gently; He leads mums gently and carefully, doesn’t intrude and will always be right there…
    xoxox J

  31. Amy on October 29, 2015 at 7:21 pm

    Thanks so much for sharing your story! So much strength to be gained from shared insights from other faithful people!

  32. angela on November 9, 2015 at 6:35 pm

    Hi, sweet Lara! Our family just finished a “Whole 30” challenge, and the food we ate is PERFECT for where you are. Our favorite foods for breakfast and dinner were roasted vegetables with either “clean” ground beef, or chicken, or Aidell’s chicken and apple sausages. We chopped up sweet potatoes and tossed them in the skillet so many mornings (still do!). Also we love simple soups, and I’ve gotten good at tossing any combination of veggies and meat in the crock pot to bubble away, then dumping it into mason jars to pull out of the fridge. At first, it is daunting to have to eliminate foods, but after a while, it helps me become more creative, and before long, I find it helps me simplify! (My blog has tons of recipes in case it’s worth a click while you’re in that big, wonderful nursing chair!!) My biggest tip has been using the time I make one meal, to double it and immediately set aside some in those jars or in freezer bags for later. Be blessed, sweet sister… you are a blessing.

  33. Tiffany on November 10, 2015 at 4:55 pm

    Hi Lara, I loved reading your story. Have you tired vegan food? My boyfriend is vegan and i cook giant pots of soup for us to take to work almost every week! One of our favorites is tomato based basil and white bean soup.

  34. Monica on November 27, 2015 at 4:25 pm

    Lara! Thank you for sharing your heart and your life with us. I wanted to tell you that God is using your social media in a big way & impacts lives. I’ve been wanting to get back to a place of journaling and reading the bible but haven’t yet. I was scrolling through Instagram and came across your last post. It reminded me about all that I learned reading your Make it Happen book. My heart was encouraged to pick up my journal and begin again. Thank you. Thank you for following the heart of Jesus and pointing us to Him. Congratulations on the birth of your son. God is so good. For Him be the praise.

  35. Erika on December 29, 2015 at 2:36 am

    Well, This is awesome! I just came across a friends post about your goal setting book and fell in love after I googled more about it. Unfortunately, you are SOLD OUT! I am hoping there will be more available shortly after Jan 1 and I can snag a copy. Until then, I am entering the contest and will pray I get one of the books 😉 Either way, you’ve got a new follower and I will definitely be purchasing your books! Oh and congrats on the handsome little one!

Leave a Comment