I’ve felt this need to get my LIFE in order since Grace was born. Having her made me feel this immediate need to take responsibility for the areas of my life where I felt I wasn’t so skilled and I felt like I finally had to do the things I had on my mental Life To-Do List. This may sound strange, but I was ready to grow up. The kind of growing up where you step into a new realm of contentment and understanding. Adulthood 2.0.
For instance, my finances made me s-t-r-e-s-s-e-d out. (I know I know! If I would have even seen the word “finances” or “money” in a blog post, I would have cringed and left for greener pastures on someone else’s blog years ago. Stay with me. Good stuff ahead.) I was so tired of feeling like I wasn’t good with numbers. So, I spent a good portion of my maternity leave — between first diaper changes and many sleepless nights — getting my finances sorted out, categorizing hundreds of charges and entering them into Quickbooks Online Pro (what I use for business) and Mint.com (what we use for personal finance tracking). After years of saying, “I’m just not good at numbers,” I had to learn to re-write that thought. Read my post from yesterday. For so so so long I would get so so so frustrated when having to deal with finances. I didn’t even know where to start!
I had to play tricks on myself to turn working on my finances into something I genuinely looked forward to instead of dreading. I would play great music. I’d promise myself a reward after finishing a session of Quickbooks time. Usually frozen yogurt. I added that into my budget! I’d light candles. I would pray. A lot. I would literally give myself a gold star. I was determined. I was sick and tired of not feeling like the money I was working so hard for wasn’t being used in the very best ways possible. I felt like, “I am a smart gal. Why is this so hard?” God was working deeply on my heart in all of this.
I wanted my time back.Desperately. I wanted to know how much I actually needed to work. How much money did I really need to make our lives work? How much could I give? How many consulting sessions did I need to take? How many hours a week did I need to be at my desk and still pay our bills, tithe and give generously?
I am so grateful to God to now say that I am confident in my ability to manage money wisely — with a lot of help and learning (our very own Emily Thomas writes excellent posts on personal finance here that I highly recommend reading!) and lots of growing still to go.
If you feel like you have no idea where to start, I offer you a simple task. First, make a list. Where do you feel like you need to be more skilled? What are the larger tasks you’ve had on your heart? Write them down. Get these Life List things down in black and white so you can just face them. That was the hardest part for me. Admitting I needed to make some big changes and get my life in order. So, I started a Life To-Do List — larger long-term tasks — and have been plugging along, very slowly checking things off the last two years. Here is my list:
My list is based on our own personal family goals, so your list may be completely different! Choose what’s right for you and your family. And please don’t for one second let my list overwhelm you. My list two years ago just said “get our finances in order so tax time wasn’t a midnight mess on April 15th.” That seemed like an impossible task at the time. It was through tons of research and prayer over many months that this list has been added to, refined and worked on.
I had to break these things down into tiny action steps to make them happen. How many of you have tasks on your general to-do lists that have been there for months (or years!)? Things like “get teeth cleaned” or “get oil changed” can stay on our lists forever and nag at us every day that they are not checked off. In our minds we think that getting those not-so-fun tasks done will somehow take days, when in reality they take just moments to set up and not very much time to accomplish. Action steps have to be:
So, to go to the dentist to get my teeth cleaned, my first action steps would be to:
1) Open my computer and open Google.com
2) Google the name of the dentist and find the phone number
3) Pick up my phone, dial the number and call while I open my calendar
Making a dentist appointment takes me less than two minutes. Yet, I put these “big tasks” off with excuses like, “I don’t have time!” What we really don’t have time for are the things that are taking up our mental space every day. Going to finally get my teeth cleaned — which really only took me two hours including driving time — and finally checking that off my list made me feel oddly FREE. Like I had a whole new realm of mental space on my list to fill with something better. It has been the same feeling, times 100, that I’ve felt in working on my Life List. While those action steps above may seem completely elementary, sometimes it takes us breaking things down to the smallest steps for us to take action on things because we see how easy they can be. And many times – most times – the hardest part is taking the first steps.
The hardest part of all of these things was taking the very first steps. After that, things were in motion and there was no more room for fear or doubt or regret that we never took action.
For Ari and me, each one of these Life List tasks started with prayer. We asked God to guide us. We looked in the Bible for wisdom about finances and giving and responsibility. We wanted to do this well and not fight in the midst of these hard tasks and tough conversations that would follow.
After praying, we divided up the tasks so we each felt like we had equal responsibilities that played into our strengths. I took the book keeping for personal and business finances (I like computer programs more than Ari does) and he researched life insurance and retirement plans (he likes numbers and logistics). I take care of the general house shopping and grocery shopping each week (and hunting for coupons!) and he takes care of writing our tithing check every week at church and keeping track of those payments. Every Saturday, we talk about our personal budget and I update him on how we are doing. At the end of each month, I email him the amount we have saved that month and he puts it into our emergency fund and a small portion toward his student loans. We divide and conquer.
Making this list happen has not been easy. It has involved hours of research and hard conversations. Life insurance and wills aren’t exactly the easiest thing to talk about. But, I’m so glad we did talk about them. Making this list happen has required us to step into personal fears about money and talk them out together. It has taken some tough decisions. It has crushed my ego 8 trillion times and made me pray a lot (and kick and scream in my heart!). But, I learned what was important to Ari and I grew to love him more in these sticky sometimes-scary talks. We both started to feel more like a team as we stepped into every challenge together.
But, let me just stop and say that reading this list I am very aware of how much we have. There are so many things that I have started to not take for granted anymore like health insurance and a house to even make payments on. Having these things does not make us more blessed than others though. It depends on your definition of blessed. The Bible tells us that the first will be last and the last will be first. Possessions and finances can keep us far from true contentment if they become more important than God. Money is not the enemy; the love of money is. ‘For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.’ (1 Tim 6:10) While I am doing the Contentment Challenge right now, I have come to see that is just surface stuff I am fasting from. I am now craving a deeper level of sacrificial giving. We are blessed to be a blessing to others. I want to be a living thank you letter to God for all He has done in our lives. Like I said above, I have so far to go. So far. But, I am grateful for this refining journey and how it has strengthened our marriage and our hearts.
OK, back to the Life List. Ari and I met this week to go together and finally sign our wills and life insurance paperwork. I wrote our wills using LegalZoom.com (with Ari’s input on end-of-life wishes of course!). If you don’t have a will yet or haven’t considered one, here are two great posts to read from my friend and financial coach, Will Ray: why you need a will and how to get one. It’s a strange thing, this life. It doesn’t last forever and, while taking an hour from work to go do this may seem like a morbid task to do… I feel grateful. Grateful that we did this for Grace. This year, one of the greatest seeds God has planted in my heart is this: do everything with great love. Do everything for someone else. Plant good seeds. I have so far to go – so very far – but every little step counts.
Your little steps add up friends. Even the not-so-fun ones. One thought that kept me going through this list was thinking about how I would feel when we finally had things in order. I knew I would feel peace. I knew I would feel joy in being able to give more because I would know where that money was coming from instead of haphazardly making financial decisions. ”For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not sit down first and count the cost, whether he has enough to finish it— lest, after he has laid the foundation, and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him, saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish’?’ (Luke 14:28)
Make your Life To-Do List happen. Little by little — perhaps over the span of years like me — you will get your Life List done and you will be so grateful that you did. These tasks are not small or easy, but they have been worth it for us and the peace of mind we have for my family and Grace’s future.
Make your own Life To-Do List with this FREE PRINTABLE and one commenter will win a copy of a book that was truly life-changing for Ari and me, The Total Money Makeover. If I could give a copy of this book to everyone I know, I would. If you already have this great book, you can win a copy for a friend!
So, tell me what’s on your Life To-Do List or what you have been considering/challenged by. I’d love to hear from you!
One of the biggest things I learned from the Making Things Happen Conference last week was that I have been feeding myself a lot of negative mental junk lately. I’ve been telling myself I can’t write this book. I will fail. I am not a good writer. So, I am fighting to re-write that dialogue in my head and in my heart.
You see, we do this to ourselves. This self-sabatoge is what holds us back from greatness. At our cores we are more afraid of — are you ready for this? — success than we are of failure. Why? Because realizing our fullest potential means we may have to shake things up. We may be seen or noticed. We might have to live up to a higher expectation. We might fail. We might actually do the things we’ve been put on this earth to do and… then what? We might have to do more. These are the things that swim in our heads and make us tell ourselves that we aren’t enough.
You are enough.
You were meant to do great things for God.
You were meant to shine.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. – Marianne Williamson
Dear self (and everyone everywhere ever): your playing small and feeding yourself negative thoughts is not serving the world.
One thing we had attendees to at the MTH Conference (full recap coming soon) is to rewrite these negative statements that hold us back. This board is being LIVED – in tiny baby steps and giant leaps – be these alum now. (I am so proud of you all and inspired by the leaps you are taking!) Rewriting negative thoughts is a daily, hourly, moment-to-moment fight, but a fight that is worth it. A fight that yields good fruit. Mine “I AM statement” is right in the middle in black: I am NOT OVERWHELMED. I am an author and a mother of more and a missionary.
My friend and MTH Conference attendee, Cheyenne, shared this yesterday that really resonated with me and many others:
One of my takeaways from the Making Things Happen conference was the idea of “rewriting my feelings”…flipping my negative feelings around to create positive ones. I have found it to be quite empowering and helpful in regaining hope and confidence: I am working hard and doing GREAT at making steady progress. There IS enough time and it WILL all get done. I am a great wife, a great mama and a great business owner. I AM worthy to come to God and worship Him. I dare you to try it if you are feeling down or stressed or doubting yourself. But, you have to say it like you mean it. 🙂 Despite the crazy workload, tonight I chose what really matters: my sweet little family.
Yes! Say it like you mean it and DO something about it.
I have been constantly saying to myself and Ari that I “have no idea what I’m doing. I am not equipped to write a book!” These statement, I’m learning, are excuses. Ways to let myself fail. Ari said to me, “Babe, you sound like Moses saying you are not equipped!” I am no Moses(!), but that hit my heart like lightning. My first post blog post this year was inspired by me reading Exodus for the first time where Moses feels unprepared to do God’s work.
And that post was read by the lady standing to my left in this photo above (love you Katie!), who sent the link to the lady to her left, who sent the post to the lady on my right — the acquisitions editor at Thomas Nelson — who sent me an email asking me if I would consider writing a book with Thomas Nelson. A few weeks ago, they came to Indianapolis where I was speaking at the Influence Conference (recap coming soon — lots of blogging in the wings!) to encourage me and guide me in this journey. And I am singing Moses’ words through my whole being… words God gave him to say… ‘The Lord will fight for you, you need only be still.’ (Exodus 14:14)
This is not a post about how great it is that I’m writing a book. What IS great is that God takes us lowly beings — simple imperfect humans — and He does crazy things with our lives for His glory when we say YES. Things we may not feel capable of, but He can make the impossible possible. I am not perfectly equipped, but I know the good news. And that, I am learning, is enough.
I am a writer.
God has given me a story to tell.
I can do all things through Him who gives me strength.
Sending my book contract off last week.
Fight the lies in your head that tell you that you are not good enough. Fight the distractions and the no’s and the false belief that you are not ready. Something Shauna Niequist said at the Influence Conference that struck me: “An opportunity dropped in my lap and so I decided to rise to the occasion for God.” Note to self: fight the fear and choose that. I am praying the same for all of you too!
What is the negative dialogue you’ve been feeding yourself? Let me know in the comments and rewrite it with your own “I AM” statement here too!
I am going to try something new the next weeks: writing blog posts and not stressing over them being perfect. DONE is better than perfect and, though I have a lot lot lot of writing to do in the next 12 weeks (more on that next), I also feel called to write a lot here. I want to practice writing here most days and just getting the thoughts out of my head. Done is better than perfect. Because the good we know we ought to do and — the good we know we ought to share online — can stay in our heads or we can DO something about it. Done is far better than perfect. So, here goes! Photos in the post taken last week by my amazing friend, Gina. I love you, G! I don’t usually wear makeup often, so I wanted photos taken for Grace in the same way she would remember me every day : )
Sleepy gracie in our bed because she was making molars last week and up all night. And yes she sleeps sideways in our bed — very comfy for us. Ha!
I wrote a series on Goal Setting & Setting Yourself Up for Success at the start of this year because I got really tired of NOT making progress on the things that matter most. In fact, I realized I didn’t know what truly mattered most to me. I didn’t want to end another year with regret about things I could have accomplished if I had just taken tiny steps along the way to make them happen. I got really tired of looking back and realizing how much time I wasted on worry and things that distracted me from my purpose. I started this year with one main goal in mind and several that branch out from it: to know God more and walk in His ways. I wanted to finally do the things I’ve always had on my heart to do. I wanted to make LIFE happen. Turns out, a lot of you felt the same way.
The big morning stretch!
I updated you with my first round of progress on April 10 and our second update was supposed to be on July 10th, but I posted on August 8th with this update. And I am, once again, a couple weeks late to update you, but here I am. Welcome to round three of my 2013 Goal Progress!
If you are stumbling on my blog for the first time, or if you need to start fresh, below are the links to get you moving. It doesn’t matter that it’s almost November. It’s NEVER to late to do what matters and start LIVING. Today is the day — YOUR day to start making it happen, to get back on track, or to choose a new track entirely!
A few updates since my last check-in!
– I spoke at 8 conferences in the last 12 weeks. 8! And I loved every single one of them. I would do this year all over again with speaking. It was so gratifying. Full recaps of my summer/fall speaking coming soon!
– We got SouthernWeddings.com! Oh my stars, this feels so good. Read the whole story here.
– We took a family vacation to Beaches. More on that trip soon too. It was so good and so needed. We also visited the Grove Park Inn as a family and I took Grace to see my parents in Florida.
Morning hair is the best kind of hair : )
– My Grandma Bunny was diagnosed with mouth cancer and, at the age of 96, started radiation treatments 5.5 weeks ago. She is not cured, but has responded well to them. Her cancer has shrunk significantly, which is more than we could have asked for! Her final treatment is tomorrow. Amen, hallelujah, thank you Lord!
– We did approximately 8 trillion photo shoots for the next issue of Southern Weddings
– I got to spend lots of face-to-face time with my friends, Emily Ley and Gina Zeidler as we travelled to speak at the Pursuit 31 Conference together and did the Making Things Happen Conference here together last week. I am so blessed by them.
In case you missed the GOAL SETTING + MAKING THINGS HAPPEN posts, it’s never too late to start now!
If you started with me on your goal setting in January or even if you’re new here (welcome!), I’d love to hear about your progress, big or small. The goal is PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION. Honest updates will help you move forward. So, weigh in below. I hope to encourage you or pray for you. And you just might inspire someone else with your comment!
We always go in our PJ’s to visit the garden in the morning. PJ’s and awesome gold boots for Gracie.
— MY 2013 Goals —
Goal 1: To know God more by learning about Him in the Bible and through prayer because knowing God means I will know what is right and good and He will direct my path. Everything good comes from that. God is my compass. I want to know everything I can possibly know about God so I can align my life with His will. I want to know God so I can change for the better for everyone in my life. I want to study the Bible and pray without ceasing. That means a lot of things, namely less time in my phone and on email and on extraneous projects and more focused time without distractions, reading. My goal in short: read and pray daily. Repeat.
// YES! I finished reading the Old Testament and am plugging along with the New Testament. This has proven challenging because the NT is so packed with goodness that I keep wanting to take it in very slowly. But, I hope to be finished with the Bible completely by December 31. That will be something to celebrate!
Morning adventures usually continue with reading and exploring the house.
Goal 2:I want Ari and I to have a more thriving joyful marriage because that will help us be our best for each other and Grace and everyone in our lives. Because we are stronger as individuals when we are stronger as a couple. Last year was truly a year of transition and miracles and this year, I want to celebrate life more together. I want to make Ari feel special and help him be his best. I want to open my heart and let him in more. I know I have a self-protecting wall up most of the time. I want to learn more about what God wants for our marriage and I want to DO those things. I want to help other couples do those things, too. I want to lead by example, in our failures and triumphs.
// If you want to know more about our story, read here and you can hear our whole story live on camera in the Amazing Life Together recordings. In our marriage, we have been praying a lot together and separately about what God wants for our family – adoption, more children, where to plant the seeds of our resources and how He wants us to use our time.
And there are always tickle parties. Always.
Goal 3:I want to become more physically strong so I can be full of energy to do God’s work every day and give to others. I stopped weight training last year and that is the longest time I’ve been out of the gym. I want to be physically strong so I can live a long healthy active life and be able to teach Grace about God and how to live a good life through my actions. I want to fuel my body to do good things. I want to recognize when I am tempted to use food to control my emotions and choose God instead through prayer, reading, stepping outside to take a deep breath or just by being still and having a good cry if I need to.
// I have been a bit off-track with the weather change stress of having too much on my plate the last weeks. I learned in this season that all we can do is do what is right in front of us. We cannot predict tomorrow. One day at a time : ) And so, I am trying to get my fitness focus back one day at a time too. I still get up to exercise every day, but pushing myself to workout hard has been well… hard. I am glad I’m doing this update for accountability and to remember WHY I want to be strong in the first place!
Goal 4:I want to stop breastfeeding, Lord willing, by Valentines day (I started weaning last week) and stay emotionally fit, despite the hormonal changes. I want to keep my energy up and give thanks, despite my current feelings (imagine if you didn’t have a period for two years and your hormones decided to start creating one… that’s where I am). I want to do whatever I can naturally to regulate my hormones so that I can be my best for my family, my staff and my friends. I also really want those 3+ hours a day back to do more for God every day. And, at the same time, I don’t want to lose the beautiful thing I have learned in all of this – that taking time to be still during the day is a very good thing.
Goal 5:I want to be humble and learn a lot this year about a lot of things so I can do what I do well. I want to learn skills that will help me be a light for other’s to know God. I want to be a better more skilled designer so I can spend less time creating graphics and so I can create inspiring products that help people focus on what is good in life. I want to learn to be a better leader so I can build my team up and equip them to do the same for others. I want to learn how to cook special dishes that make my family feel special. I want to learn how to keep plants alive more than a few weeks. I want to continue my calligraphy training so that I can write beautiful letters to special friends. I want to learn how to be a better writer so I can communicate my thoughts in a more compelling authentic way. I want to learn how to do my job in a more direct, powerful, efficient way so I can make more of an impact on everyone I meet. I want to learn more about investing and finances so I can be a better steward of our money. I want to learn so I can give more.
// Design – Nicole has continued to teach me so much through all we’ve been doing with our print magazine. Leading – I’ve focused so much on our company mission in my speaking engagements, so leading from that core has been fairly easy. I am so grateful for a team of women who are just as passionate about our core mission as I am! Cooking – My garden has been one of my greatest joys the last months. We’ve harvested hundreds of tomatoes and I’ve had so much fun tending the garden with Grace. Eating straight from our garden is so satisfying! Plants – Yes, as you can see I love my garden! I am sad it is close to the time when my annuals will fade away, but I will have fun during the winter planning for spring goodies. We did plant kale and lettuce for fall though and it’s looking beautiful! Calligraphy – I stopped my calligraphy training to focus on other priorities. Writing – Well, I have a book to write now. A whole separate post coming on this. There is a lot of writing in my future! Job efficiency – Yes, we had a great meeting recently about profitability and how we use our time as a team. I do feel very efficient with my time and priorities now as compared to the start of the year! Finances – This continues to be the biggest answered prayer in this category. We now have a clear personal budget, a savings and investment plan (with many thanks to our dear friend and financial coach Will Ray!) and I hired a new accountant for our business who has been so helpful thus far. Guys, I can’t tell you what a relief all of this is! Being able to know where we can invest time and resources and where we need to scale back is a huge blessing.
Goal 6:I want to learn how to be more efficient and reach more people with less time away from my family. I want to spend less time on the phone with clients and far less timing emailing. My goal is to find revenue streams this year that are more automated, yet help people in a profound personal way.
// Yes, our shop has done well and I’ve continued to fight for my boundaries to keep my time focused on what matters. Read more about how I set boundaries here. I’m done with consulting and branding work for the year so I can focus on getting my book done, so my time has been streamlined. I am in the process of planning my 2014 speaking calendar, too, and have only accepted one speaking engagement thus far. Speaking gives me the opportunity to affect more people at once and therefore spend less time on the computer or in sessions. I’m excited to be speaking at the Bliss and Bespoke retreat in Charleston in February. If you are interested in having me come to your conference to speak, I’d love to hear from you as I’m blocking off my time for 2014 now. You can read more info here!
Can you tell we are related?
Goal 7: I want to learn how to be a better mom. I currently don’t read anything on parenting. I fly by the seat of my pants. I want to learn from others who do it well and become a mother full of wisdom so that Grace can be her best under our care. I want to raise her to be giving and pure and to have a heart of grateful JOY. I want to help Grace have more play friends and be a living example of the Bible for her in our actions. I want to be much more patient and less controlling and let go of my life so I can live in hers.
// I don’t even know where to begin with this update. I’ll just give you a little glimpse into my world with the sweetest little monkey on the earth. Late last night as I tried to calm Grace to get her to sleep (poor thing has a bad cold right now), she suddenly starts praying:
(clasping her little hands together and squinting her eyes so she can still see) Thank you God for Daddy. Thank you God for helping me. Amen!
And then she proceeded to sing a mashup of Twinkle Twinkle and Old MacDonald. DJ Grace is the cutest. Then, mid-song, she looks at me in dark room, by the light of the moon coming through the window and says, “I love you so much mama.” Melt my soul. It’s moments like that that make me forget the constant toddler tantrums and separation anxiety that we weather daily. Each challenge is an opportunity to teach her to know God’s heart and — though I fail at it daily — teaching her that is one of my greatest joys. Showing her compassion and how to love others and how to say “I’m sorry” and how to celebrate life all make my mama heart very full. We’ve had a lot of adventures together lately and I love my time with her. Even when she refuses to clean up her messes and hits me with lollipops (yes that happened today).
She loves when Ari lifts her up high to touch the trees!
Goal 8:I want to continue to build a remarkable business that is a catalyst for real LOVE. I want my clients to have better LIVES and I want our brides to have strong MARRIAGES. I want to be a centered sounding board and prayerfully guide my clients this year to their fullest potential. My goal is to always come back to our CORE and to keep refining it.
// YES YES and YES! This update continues to stay strong and I am so grateful. It becomes clearer and clear to me by the day that, the more we focus on our core and refine it to align with God’s will, the more powerful our work is on all levels. Our core mission is to inspire brides to cultivate a life full of love – celebrating their families, the rich culture of the South and what matters most to them – and then to draw from that rich well to create a meaningful beginning to married life! Through our weekly staff meetings and all of the decisions we make, we come back to this core mission daily and it clarifies everything. We’ve had SO many great staff meetings lately centered on our core and taking action on that daily. I am so grateful for Nicole, Emily, Marissa, Kristin and Lisa!
Goal 9: To learn how to take better photographs for myself so that I can remember Grace as she is in these sweet moments. I am not really sure why for this goal. It feels like a very God-centered goal, but it’s something I can’t explain. I have this connection to great photographs… they somehow speak to my soul. They change me. I think a gift God gave me was to be able to see the vision of a photograph to create. I can see moments and the big picture and a vision. I don’t have the technical skills to match that to capture the moments I see, if that makes sense. I even bought a great camera last year. It hasn’t been used yet because I get really frustrated with technology and numbers and learning new skills that I have to read a manual for. I want to learn the technical skills of how to take the photographs that I see in my heart.
// I’ve learned a lot about light and processing lately just through observing others and studying. But, for now, I’m leaving this to the pros!
Goal 10:I want to live with less, keep a new budget based on the historical data we have from 2012, and be more frugal this year because my money is not mine. It’s God’s and I want to do more with our money for Him. I want to not only give away things I don’t need, but give away things I love. Ari is really good at this. His favorite sweater was in our charity pile this weekend and, when I asked him about it, he said he said that it wasn’t really giving unless you were giving something you didn’t want to give away for the sake of someone else. I love that. I want to be more sacrificial in my giving.
// We can’t take our stuff to Heaven with us. I have so much growing to do here, but I am so grateful for how God is changing our family in this realm. I read Interrupted and it further convicted me that my heart needs to change more and more to be like Him. So, I started the Contentment Challenge at the start of September. Not shopping for things I don’t need hasn’t been hard. At all. It’s giving things away and living sacrificially that has been a huge challenge on my heart. More to come here.
Goal 11: I want to build other’s up in faith and give lots of tools this year for people to make that happen. I want to study the Bible with others in my home and online. Going back to goal 1, I want to know the Bible so I can share it with others. Showing people the new life that I have been given and the indescribable JOY and freedom and love and genuine purpose I have found in this new life… well, that is something I want to share. Big time. If you were to find the most beautiful island in the world, you would want to invite all your friends. That’s how I feel about being in a relationship with God. I want everyone to be able to feel this goodness. I want to equip people with basic tools to know God more.
// With my book manuscript due at the end of January, I’ve had to table the in-person Bible study. I did, however, write to our women’s ministry leader to tell her I was interested in doing this so we are going to meet one afternoon to talk about it. I so badly want more time to be able to learn and study more so I am better equipped to teach God’s word to others. I have been so convicted by Bob Goff talking to us at Pursuit 31 about how we need to stop agreeing with Jesus and DO something about who He is. I want to live that. So much. I want to have Bible doings instead of Bible studies.
Goal 12: I want to finally WRITE MY BOOK. I already have most of the content written and just need to put it together. Nicole and I started talking about the printing and technical aspects of this before the end of the year, so it’s in the works. My goal is to release it before the end of 2013, if not sooner. I want it to be timeless and done well so it will help creatives make things happen year after year. I want it to be a legacy for Grace to learn from as well.
// I signed my contract with Thomas Nelson/Harper Collins last week. I am pretty afraid to write this book, but slowly God is giving me clarity. This update is not wrapped up in a pretty bow yet. Check back with me in January : ) My manuscript is due January 31, 2014 and the book debuts in January 2015!
Gina made us say “banana pants” really loud!
Goal 13: I want to continue to paint and create products for small creative spaces that inspire people to live better lives. God is the ultimate creator and I believe He gave all of us creative talents that are meant to be USED. I want to use my creative gifts much more this year: design, painting and singing.
// We successfully launched the Lara Casey Shop in February and sales have been very consistent with little to no marketing. The PowerSheets have been our most popular product besides the AMEN print (my favorite), and have sold out now six times. My own PowerSheets have been an exercise in discipline and have challenged me to take action on my goals and never tarry. Painting – I finally painted the giant 5 foot canvas in our living room! YES! Singing – I love singing with Gracie and that is plenty for me right now.
Goal 14: An immediate goal I have is to finish my website. It’s been over a year in the making and it’s a monster. The coding is almost done, my shop is populated and I just have a lot of site content to populate now. I’m hoping we can launch it late this month!
// DONE! We launched and I still love this site more than all the Luna Bars and chickens in the world! OK, maybe not more than chickens.
Goal 15:I want to foster my friendships is a purposeful, focused way because then I will build a stronger bond with my friends and we can do more good things for others together. I want to be more prayerful for my friends, even when they don’t know it. I want to do surprise things for them to make them feel special and build their faith and capacity to love.
// One of my PowerSheets goals has continued to be to pray for my friends often. Ari and I pray for friends at dinner as well. I still long for “dear friends” (here locally) as the Bible describes them. More on my recent friendship thoughts here.
Goals 16:I want to support new moms more. I had a really hard time after Grace was born and several friends sent me care packages that really made a difference. I started a new moms group and my goal is to have several care packages and cards ready to go for new mamas and expecting mama friends that I can send out right away. I want to support new moms locally, too.
// I have shifted my focus to praying for friends who are going through infertility and those who are pursuing adoption. God just has both of those things on my heart lately.
Goal 17:I want to send more real mail to build stronger connections with others, because hopefully it will help people feel God’s love.
// I sent a big bunch of cards and letters out last week and am working on some new shop products for 2014 that will help all of us stay connected the old fashioned way : )
Goal 18:I want to do more random acts of kindness. As often as possible because these things can help people feel hope and know that God is good. A little kindness can change someone’s life for the better.
// I want to do more of this. That is all.
Goal 19: I want to show my family God’s love through my actions so that they will know Him more and trust in Him. My family is going through a lot right now. They need a lot of love. My goal is to be sacrificial with my time and resources so I can support them and take care of them in their distress.
// Yes! I was able to go visit them in September and it was so good to be home. And, like I mentioned above, my Grandma Bunny was diagnosed with mouth cancer. At the age of 96, she started radiation treatments 5.5 weeks ago. She is not cured, but has responded well to them. Her cancer has shrunk significantly, which is more than we could have asked for! Her final treatment is tomorrow. Amen, hallelujah, thank you Lord!
Goal 20: I want to be like Moses this year in the way he trusted and just DID what God said to do. He let God use him. I want to be open to change and trust that God always has the perfect plan. No matter what.
// I have had to step out on faith in so many arenas lately. I keep saying that I don’t feel equipped and the truth is that I am not equipped. But, He is.
I can do all this through him who gives me strength.– Phil 4:13
So, what is it that you want to make happen? Comment below to tell me about your progress this year, what’s been a challenge for you, and what you look forward to ahead. We’ll check in again before the end of the year! Wow, time is flying! I want to hear from you this week so I can hopefully encourage you and so you can also encourage each other. Make it happen, friends. No more lurking. Making things happen means taking action.So, fill me in! Remember, this is about PROGRESS, not perfection. It’s never too late to start. Start today.
P.S. CONGRATS to the winner of the 2014 PowerSheets set (or anything in my shop up to $35 if you already ordered the PowerSheets), Sarah Lackner! Sarah, email me and we will get your goodies to you!
Somewhere around November 15th, every year, suddenly I would have a panic attack thinking, “How is it almost THANKSGIVING!? How is it almost CHRISTMAS!? Where did the year go? I have so much left to DO!” Projects I hadn’t started, goals I hadn’t touched all year and friendships I hadn’t nurtured.
My little punkin’ picking out pumpkins.
Typically, October is the month we all start gearing up for the holidays, becoming more and more spread thin as the holiday rush approaches. To fill this anxiety about all the stuff I had to do, I’d buy stuff. Home decorations, cinnamon apple candles to make me feel like I was home, and food. Comfort food. There is nothing wrong with those things, but when the stuff of our lives starts to pile up faster than leaves at the end of November, it’s easy to get really overwhelmed and weighed down. Can anyone relate to this? Can I get some virtual AMEN’s!? I don’t know about you, but I want this year to be different. Radically different. I want this year to be clear.
In these last couple months — #IntentionalAugust and #SavorSeptember — I’ve been able to practice doing that thing I am really bad at: being still. I’ve studied these ideas of being truly intentional and savoring the blessings we have. Thousands of you have joined right along with me and it has been a JOY and an inspiration to click on these little hashtags and open up a world of people who are truly living.
Gracie gardening with me and eating tomatoes right off the vine.
Clarity, clear, ready, open, sure of where I am, confident in the Lord’s purpose… that’s where I want to be this month and I am SO excited to learn from you all too as we dive into the clear waters of October! Read these definitions below carefully and let me know which ones resonate with you the most. The word “clear” holds so many meanings that surprised me and made me see just how much I need to clear, to free, to settle and to make light.
My CLEAR LIST:
– I want to be free from haze. Haze that comes from spending too much time looking at screens and not enough time gazing into eyes. I want to fill our days with good work, good healthy food, better exercise, great books, corn mazes, pumpkin patches, fall leaves crinkling underfoot (y’all should see Grace stomping on fall leaves – so funny!) and warm hugs. – I want to be bright and not darkened. I want to be a light to others and that takes me letting the light in first. I want to take big deep breaths in of the cool crisp October air and rejoice for the gift of being ALIVE!
Last Friday, right before speaking at the Influence Conference.
– I want to be transparent in my marriage and open my heart more so we can find the most fulfilling quiet love together. Last night, Ari prayed for us before bed that we would continue to grow strong together. It was a prayer that came from a silly argument, but the best prayers sometimes come from total surrender. “God, we don’t know how to make this better, but we fully trust that YOU do.” I woke up so grateful for Ari’s prayers for us and so ready to keep doing the best, most fulfilling, work I’ve ever done – the work of marriage. – I want to be free from blemish… i.e. shame. Guilt can sometimes motivate us to be out best selves and to apologize when we have hurt someone. Shame, however, paralyzes us. It’s self-punishment. I want to let go of the shame I hold onto and fully accept the grace I’ve already been given. – I want to see a clear path to victory for Him. Not for me. – I want to have a clear mind and a ready heart. – I want to be free from doubt and confusion; certain of where I am supposed to be.
– I want to make life light (worrying is like praying for what you don’t want), clear, and bright. Continuing to get rid of stuff I don’t need and learning to be truly content. – I want to get rid of the distractions – comparison, unresolved conflict, fear — that hold me from really fully living and giving to others. – I want to settle loose ends… or just let them go. – I want to free others from tension and help them see life in a new bright way. I just finished reading Shauna Niequist’s Bittersweet after hearing her speak last week and I am so motivated to make stronger friendships. Her book is rich with stories of the beautiful community of friends she has and how those friendships are born from spending physical time together and giving to friends instead of waiting for them to give to you. I want to give to friends and build a community that all works together to give right back out to others, multiplying love.
One of my PowerSheets goals has been to read the Bible this year and I am so grateful to have finished the Old Testament last week! On to the New!
– I want to jump over obstacles. – I want to get through this magazine and speaking season well and with intention. Next week, I’ll be speaking at Proverbs 31 Conference with Emily and Gina and at the end of this month we’re hosting the Making Things Happen Conference here. I am so excited about both and ready for some face-to-face friendship time.
Lastly, and perhaps most importantly: I want my heart, my home, my family, my work, my body, my everything to be a clear open space, ready for whatever God has planned.
Moldable. Teachable. Changeable. Ready to say YES to what matters most.
Make your Clear List on your blog or Facebook or Instagram or ALL of them. Get these words and declarations engrained in your mind and soul. Be bold. Be tender. Be clear. Share your post and tag it #ClearOctober on social media (or write your list in a comment here!) so we can all support each other and cheer each other on. I would also personally love to pray for you.
Daddy picked out this outfit : )
Before you make your Christmas list and the rush of the holiday’s takes you a way, make your Clear List. Make LIFE happen this holiday season by setting yourself up for success. The kind of success that changes not only your life, but possibly countless others.
LET’S DO THIS, FRIENDS! Three people who comment with their Clear Lists and/or tag #ClearOctober this month on social media will win a Ocean Blue Make It Happen Print. I’ll choose the winners randomly at the end of the month. More valuable than a desk print though, is what I hope and pray each of us makes happen this month. Time to get CLEAR.
With my recent travels and announcing some exciting news yesterday, I am a couple days behind on filling out my October PowerSheets. But, I’m stopping now to get clear and focused on my goals this month. Oh, my stars, these PowerSheets have changed my year and given me so much clarity. As the cherry on top of this post, I’m happier than a hog in slop to announce that 2014 PowerSheet Pre-Orders are NOW OPEN! HOORAY!!!! We sold out six times this year and are putting some extra bells and whistles on the 2014 PowerSheets. They will ship in few weeks so you have them in perfect time to prepare for 2014 greatness.
I want you to make what matters happen, so I am also going to be doing a 2014 Goal Setting Webinar at the start of 2014. Everyone who pre-orders (before we sell out) will have free access to this exclusive live webinar in January. Details to come once you place your pre-order!
We called in reinforcements : )
OK, we are closing on our print edition in 5 days, so I am bucking down to make a magazine happen. Here’s to a brilliant clear October and an intentional finish to 2013! I can’t wait to read all of your #ClearOctober updates, friends!
P.S. I typically don’t blog my newsletters, but there was an error in yesterday’s email so I’m posting the corrected text here for all to enjoy. Be sure to sign up for next month’s newsletter here.