I just had a great talk with Nicole after doing three client coaching sessions this morning. I wish I would have recorded our conversation. We talked about believing in the gifts we’ve been given and how easy it is to beleive the negativity in our heads… and how VITAL it is to own your good.
All three clients I spoke to this morning are truly brilliant. Yet, in some way, every single one had a different idea of their value than I did. This is the case with all of my clients and I know God has given me the gift of seeing through the trees for people. I see what’s there. I tend to see a LOT of possibility in people. My job is to be a mirror. To reflect back to my clients what is there underneath layers of doubt and uncertainty and insecurity: brilliance, untapped potential and that they are enough. They are capable. They are far more valuable than they see.
So much clouds our vision. Life punches us in the gut sometimes (sometimes lots of times!) and the world says we aren’t enough and somewhere along the line, we start to believe everyone else. Well, friends, everyone else is wrong. You ARE enough. You ARE capable. You ARE filled to the brim with talents and a purpose. God wouldn’t have put you on this earth if you didn’t have a great purpose. Here is one of the many things God says about our purpose and how we are to love others and ourselves:
Of all the commandments, which is the most important?
“The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”
- Mark 12:28-31
So, let’s break this down. First, love God. Next, love your neighbor as yourself. We tend to treat others how we treat ourselves, right? How we treat others really mirrors what’s going on in our souls. We project so many of our own feelings and problems and stresses onto others. It’s human. It’s natural. And yet, we have a choice. It all starts with filling your cup with what’s important so you can fill others, too. It starts with believing in yourself and literally stopping when you start thinking, “I’m not good enough.” Replace that thought with the truth. You ARE enough. You ARE capable. I’m going to say it a few more times here in hopes that it will start to sink in.
For me, loving myself means loving God first and filling my heart with what is good, pure, lovely and true so that what pours out of my own heart will come from a river that never runs dry. Oh, y’all. I have been on the opposite end of this for pretty much my whole life up until the last year or so. My river was constantly dry. And I still see the drought coming from time to time, but times have greatly changed. It has taken WORK and hard decisions and facing how I cope with challenges and facing my faults and fears. It’s work I keep doing daily. But, when I love myself in the way God wants me to love myself – as a child of His, as deeply valued and cared for – then, I can love others in that same way. It doesn’t mean being perfect. It means tending to your soul so you can be your best for others. Love God, and in doing so, you will fill your own heart so you can pour that love right back out on others. This all builds a humble confidence that brings lasting joy and PEACE.
And there is a big difference between feeding our egos and true God-filled confidence. This is God-filled confidence:
‘Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.’ – Hebrews 4:16
‘But let us who live in the light be clearheaded, protected by the armor of faith and love, and wearing as our helmet the confidence of our salvation.’ – 1 Thess 5:8
‘So we can say with confidence, “The Lord is my helper, so I will have no fear. What can mere people do to me?”’ – Hebrews 13:6
Good confidence is knowing our value to help others. That gives us energy and wings to soar in all we do.
Dangerous confidence is thinking we are better than others and then feeding our egos to try to fill the void created by accepting the negative things the world tells us about our worth. Sound familiar?
‘Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.’ – Philippians 2:3
I digress. Sort of. This all goes together.
All around me, I see so many not filling their cups with what matters. I’ve been there myself more times than I can count. Facebook, fame, money, popularity, business and bookings vie for our attention. They promise us everlasting happiness, and they give us a great high for a moment… and then it’s back to “real life”. And we keep going through this cycle: boredom, I’m not good enough, so I’m going to get on Facebook to zone out and look at other people’s lives, now I feel worse and I’m distracted and behind and I need a bigger distraction. You know this cycle. I can write about it because I know it, too. And I am on a mission to kick it to the curb and help others do the same!
I don’t know about you, but I got tired of the high highs and low lows. I wanted consistent lasting joy. And I have found it. You can too. Right now. It comes at a price. The price is letting go of control of your life and giving it to the one who created it. The price is humility and owning your imperfection and fighting the belief that the number of followers you have on social media or the number in your bank account or your beauty or your status or your ____(fill in your blank)____ somehow equate to your value in life. They do not.
My dear client and friend, Lori, sent me this video below today and it haunted me. I hope this helps you see where my heart is today. Believe in yourself and squash that mental negative dialogue that keeps you from the greatness you were meant to step into, friends. You ARE enough. More than enough! You are EXTRAORDINARY.
P.S. I have been SO encouraged by your goal progress! The Tieks giveaway ends May 1!
P.P.S. Ari and I told the whole story of our marriage – everything – on camera last week. I hope you will join us to watch the footage this Friday night from 6:40pm EST to 8pm EST. It’s FREE to watch live and we’ll be on live to answer questions. See you Friday!
P.P.P.S. How ARE you? Really. Does anything I wrote here today ring a bell in your heart? I’d love to hear from you….