Currently listening to :: Weepies // Can’t Go Back Now
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking in the past couple days about forgiveness. I’m not Jewish, but the idea behind Yom Kippur (today) is something I identify with. Since Ari and I have been married, this has been the one holiday that really captivated me. In very short, you fast, pray all day, and ask God and every person in your life that you have hurt for forgiveness.
So, today I’m making a list. Whether I’m forgiven or not, I’m going to try my best to clearly admit my wrongs and ask for grace. I’ve received letters, calls and emails asking for my forgiveness before and so many of them meant the world to me. I still keep one of them in my wallet. Just this week, I got a very open honest letter from someone who really let her heart speak. This letter took a lot of courage. The situation was months old, but that was the beauty of it. Time doesn’t necessarily heal all things; communicating love to one another does. Some of the most significant letters I’ve received I couldn’t bring myself to respond to, but they helped me move on. Maybe mine, although seemingly insignificant, will help someone else do the same.
I always tell Ari “Happy Yom Kippur” even though I’m not really supposed to. To me, it’s happy. God’s forgiveness is the greatest gift of all. Practicing that kind of grace with the people around us, even in very small form, is tapping into that gift. The ability to say “I’m sorry”, no matter the response, is something to celebrate even though it’s terrifying, it makes you vulnerable, it makes you “wrong” and it may make someone feel differently about you. For me, it’s downright scary at times.
Are there people you need to ask forgiveness from? I know, I know… most of you are thinking, come on, Lara! It’s Monday. I have enough on my plate! I challenge you to just try this- even if you start really small. Baby steps, my friends. Start with just making the list. This may just be the list that helps you have the most productive, happiest year of your life.
Admitting our faults is far from easy, but may just be that one thing holding you and the other person back from moving forward and finding joy.
Feeling the fear and doing it anyway,
ps- here’s a guide sheet to help you, if you need it.